It's Cold
by hetaliaprincess
Summary: "I'll call you Dia." he said. I should have told him that day that I'm not Dia! That I'm Lady Diana of house Bolton for him and that he's just a bastard for me.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so this story is written just for fun (and because one rainy day I was so much bored). It's a little bit "dark" and weird and wicked, and in some later chapters even disgusting, but I think I did it with style lol.**

 **Diana is not your typical Westerosi lady, she's neither Sansa or Margaery, nor Arya.. She's just.. different.. more dangerous (in later chapters) for her enemies, but for herself also.**

 **This story isn't meant to offend anyone, so.. if you don't want to read a fanfiction with incest, rape, murder and other** **sinful, unhappy,** **scandalous things, than don't, just don't..**

 **I don't support any of the previously mentioned things (like incest), I just wanted to write something crazy and here it is..**

 **The first few chapters are short, and the story itself is a little bit slow, but that's how I like it. Also, English is not my first language, so if there are some mistakes, I'm so, so, sooo sorry.. :/**

 **I don't own any of these characters, George is the genius, not me! I only own Diana Bolton and some other minor OCs.**

 **Also, you can follow me on Tumblr: /ladyofhousebolton ..**

 **So yeah, once again I started to write this story just for fun, so don't take it too seriously or something and please feel free to leave your comment.**

* * *

I still remember very well the night when I saw my half - brother Ramsay Snow for the first time. It was cold and it was raining heavily and I was dressed only in a tin white silk that was supposed to be my nightgown.

I was told that I should never shake or tremble, that I should get used to the cold weather.

 _"Winter will come one day and you have to be ready."_ father said to me _._

I smiled then.. I thought those were just some stupid Stark words.

Boltons are Northerners, Boltons are dangerous, Boltons are strong, but I stood shivering in the cold air and IT WAS SUMMER!

I'm pathetic, I thought.

I guess I wasn't enough Bolton. I was never enough Bolton..

But I had to remind myself and sometimes even my older brother Domeric that I AM a Northerner, that WE ARE from the North.

I fought to be what I believed it was the best.

I am a Northerner and so is my half - brother Ramsay.

Ramsay..

Ramsay is a Northerner and Bolton more than me and definitely more than my brother Domeric, I had to admit.

Domeric was quiet. He was nice.. But Ramsay is wild as north..

I wanted to be like Ramsay.

I wanted to know how to fight. I liked blades.. I liked dogs.. But my brother Domeric liked more to play the harp..

At least I am better than Domeric, I thought.

Wait.. Better?

Was I better just because Ramsay told me that?

 _"At least you are true Bolton unlike that stupid cunt.."_

Well, I trusted Ramsay and I paid the iron price for that.

I knew my life was going to change the same moment he came to our life in Dreadfort. I only didn't know, in what direction..

 _"This is my bastard."_ father said like it was nothing.

The strange boy looked first at my brother Domeric and than at me. Domeric wasn't interested in him, but I was. I wanted to know all the secrets behind those ice - blue eyes.

 _"What is your name?"_ I asked him and immediately he looked at me through the corner of his eye " _Ramsay_." he answered coldly.

I came few steps closer to him so I could have a better look at his face.

My eyes are different than his, I thought. They are blue too, but not large and cold. I was told many times that I resemble my mother, Lady Bethany a lot. My brown hair is long and wavy and my blue eyes are warm as much as their blue colour can be.

 _"And you are?"_ he asked while looking at my small seven years old body from the bottom to the top and than again at my face. It looked to me like he was examining me.

I giggled and even my father and my brother smiled.

 _"Diana.."_ I answered quietly and the boy smiled at me " _I'll call you Dia._ " he said.

I should have told him that day that I'm not Dia! That I'm Lady Diana of house Bolton for him and that he's just a bastard for me.

But I didn't know..

I knew nothing about him and I knew nothing about people.

 _"Dia!"_ he yelled at me when I refused to kill my nanny Nora.

 _"No."_ I said _"You're insane!"_ I said and he smiled at me.

 _"I'm insane.. and you're weak."_ he told me and he grabbed the knife from my hand _"Our blades are sharp."_ he said and I screamed. I screamed his name.

I was alone in a forest with my crazy half - brother and with a dead woman who was dead thanks to him and thanks to my stupidity.

I run away from that bloody forest where Ramsay killed my sweet nanny and who knows how many people. I was screaming, crying and running towards the castle and even in all those noise I made I could still hear his laugh.

Few days passed and I didn't leave my chambers. No one really cared, so it was the same for me.

Father was busy working, brother was busy reading. Only my mother sometimes visited me, but she didn't even seem to notice.

I didn't tell anyone what he did, what Ramsay did. I was afraid that he'll cut my throat as well if I say anything or even if I leave the room.

I've never seen so much blood. Never seen so much hate..

I've had nightmares every night from that day.

 _"I don't want to be like him. I don't want to be like him!"_

It was my fault!

Nora was dead because of me. I should have protected her.

I knew that he was watching her for months. She was young. She was beautiful. I knew that he liked that. I knew and I did nothing!

I should have done more to protect her.. from him.. from me.


	2. Chapter 2

I watched Ramsay doing disgusting and wrong things.

I did nothing, I just watched. But his killing of Nora was the drop that spilled the glass.

I had to tell the father. I had to speak out.

I thought that my silence helped him becoming a monster. I thought that Ramsay needed my help. I thought that he was lost and confused.. I thought that I could have help him.

No one ever loved him.. That's it ! He needs love, I thought.. And I loved him, but somehow I failed in helping him... I failed in changing him..

Nora would be alive if I didn't fail. Nora would be alive and Ramsay would not become a monster he is.

I was just a little girl..

I thought that everything was my fault until one day my lord father visited me in my chambers.

Until one day I decided to tell him. But he already knew..

" _His blood is bad. He cannot love. Gods cannot help him!_ " father said when I asked him did he know what Ramsay was doing.

I didn't belive him. I thought that everyone can love. There is no such thing like - bad blood. Everyone deserves a chance, everyone can change.

But my opinion wasn't popular in Westeros... for a reason.

" _Not all people are like you Diana_." father said.

I shook my head in disbelief..

" _Ramsay can love. He just.. has some.. problems. Help him, father.. Help him!_ "

He can love! I knew that. He can love, that's why he saved me. That's why he saved me when I fell off my horse..

I screamed in pain as I was lying on the cold ground.

I was alone. Even my horse run away from me.

But the moment I heard the dogs barking I knew that he was coming.

Ramsay..

" _Hold on, sweet sister.._ "

Tears well up in my eyes, but this time from happiness. He came for me!

" _Shhh don't cry.. don't cry.. I'm here now. I'm here._ " Ramsay was saying to me. He carried me in his arms all the way to the castle.

And than I saw my father standing with some men in the great hall.

I recognized symbols on their clothes.

Starks.. This is when I first met them.

" _What happened_?" father asked Ramsay who was still holding me in his arms.

" _She broke her leg._ " Ramsay said and I cried out in terrible pain.

" _How?_ " he asked coldly. He didn't seem to be worried for my condition. The Starks looked more worried than my lord father. He was always like that.. cold.

" _I fell off my horse_." I said quietly looking at those Starks.

Later I found out that those men were Eddard Stark and his brother Benjen. There was also one boy of Ramsay's age.. _Probably Lord Eddard's eldest son, Robb_ , I though then.

" _You should be more careful._ " father said and continued to talk to the Stark lords.

Young Robb was looking at me curiously and I could feel that Ramsay didn't like that.

" _You think he helped you because he cares for you_?" father asked me " _Everything he did and everything he does is to impress me_." he said.

That was the cruel truth.. The cruel truth that made me realize that Ramsay's doing everything for a reason and for his own benefit.

I will be forever thankful to my father for those words. He was saying the truth, but there was something more.. Maybe Ramsay didn't care for me, maybe he didn't love me, but he definetly felt something for me.

" _You're a Bolton_." he was saying to me.

I didn't know then, but I know now.

I was everything he ever wanted to be.

I was everything he ever wanted to have..

Few days after our talk, father sent me to my aunt Lady Barbrey Dustin, who lives in Barrow Hall in Barrowton.

" _You will feel better there._ " he said.

When I came to Barrowton I liked it so much that I decided to ask my father for permission to stay there for some longer time.

I liked Barrowton, I liked aunt Barbey and I didn't miss Dreadfort at all.

Father agreed, but on one condition – I will come back to Dreadfort, when he calls me.


	3. Chapter 3

I was happy with my dear aunt in Barrowton. She was like a second mother to me, I loved her company.

Years passed and I forgot almost all the horrors I've been through while I lived in Dreadfort.

My brother Domeric was visiting me quite often. Domeric even lived with us for some time, before he left to the Vale.

He squired for three years in the Vale of Arryn for Lord Horton Redfort. In the Vale, Domeric enjoyed the company of Horton's sons and began to consider them brothers.

He loved to be there and I loved to be here in Barrowton. Both of us didn't think much about Dreadfort, but Domeric eventually came back home.

And than something happened.. The raven came and brought the letter.

Domeric died.

" _That bastard. He killed him_!" My aunt was repeating those words all the time. She loved Domeric. We both loved him, but I didn't want to believe that Ramsay could kill our brother.

" _You don't know that_.. _They say he died from a sickness of the bowels_." I said and Lady Barbrey looked at me angrily.

" _You're not a fool, Diana. I saw how you charmed the entire northern nobility seven days ago at the feast. You know people.. you **see** them. You know who can kill and who cannot. You told me yourself what kind of monster Ramsay is_."

I sighed deeply. She was right.

I told her.

I told her about torturing, about murders, about hunt, about... touching.

Touching...

One night.. on the night of my nameday, Ramsay presented me the gift. That's when the touching began and the worst thing about it.. is.. that I liked it.

I was connected with him with some strange force I couldn't explain. I just couldn't explain it.

But my anger was stronger now..

Pictures in my head were terrifying. Ramsay killed my brother? He killed Domeric? Nice, noble Domeric? How dare he? How dare he to impure him? If this is true than I'll make him pay, I thought.

Lady Barbrey sat beside me.

" _My dear girl_.." she said " _I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. You lost your brother and I'm.. attacking you here and you did nothing wrong_."

I looked at her. For the first time I could see the tears in her eyes.

But I DID something wrong, I wanted to tell her.

I was quiet.

Domeric, Nora.. Why are my eyes tearing?

No, no, no.. Stop it!

Boltons don't cry.

" _I understand_.." I said quietly and my aunt smiled at me warmly.

" _You understand? Dear child.. First your mother and now your brother.. You're going to stay alone with that bastard_.."

" _No_.." I said " _He's going to stay alone with me_."

* * *

 **Note:**

 **I changed some things from the books. Also, I was inspired more from the tv show and everything in this story will be mix of both the books and tv show, but MORE tv show.**

 **I hope you're gonna like this fanfic and please feel free to review.** :)


	4. Chapter 4

Domeric died from a sickness of the bowels, according to Maester Uthor. However, both my father and my aunt believed that he was poisoned.

Reek or Theon Greyjoy, the ironborn who became my half - brother's pet, once told me that my lord father was convinced that Ramsey did it.

" _A sickness of the bowels, Maester Uthor says, but I say poison. Ramsay killed him._ " my father said.

Domeric was buried underneath the Dreadfort and I attended his funeral.. It was the only way I could get some peace.

But the strong feeling of guilt was still present.

I always felt responsible for my brother Domeric. He was naive.. I wasn't naive.. It was my duty to warn him, but the feeling of shame was bigger than everything.

I felt like.. the things I knew, the things I saw and the things I did.. with Ramsay and to Ramsay.. are the most shameful secrets that I could share only with my aunt, Lady Barbrey and.. well.. Ramsay.

Maybe that's why she cried so much. She had the same feeling of guilt like me.

" _Goodbye noble Domeric. You will not be forgotten, I.. I promise you that_." I said and I placed one white flower on his grave.. A, rose.. pure and beautiful, as was my brother Domeric.

Ramsay was there too.

I didn't recognize him at first and it looked like he didn't recognize me either.

" _Aren't you a good looking maiden..."_ he said smiling _"Did my brother give you that Bolton medallion_?" he asked while looking at my chest.

Ramsay?

Oh this is going to be good, I thought.

I smiled at him and he continued to talk.

" _My brother was gentle and noble.. But I.. I can make you scream with pleasure. You just need to ask._ " he said smiling.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

" _Bastard._ " I said proudly _"You can talk like that to your whores. I am a lady.. of house Bolton. Don't you know that_?"

Ramsay was confused.. probably like never before.

I smiled. He was flattering me.

" _Dia? Is that you_?" he asked quietly and I decided to surprise him even more.

" _Sweet brother.. Of course it's me_." I said warmly and I placed a kiss on his pale cheek.

It's cold, I thought. Cold like north, cold like my father's eyes and cold like.. Ramsay's heart.

" _I apologize sweet sister.. You should have told me_." he said almost angrily.

" _Sweet sister_?" I could hear the voice behind me " _She's "my lady" for you, bastard._ "

It was my aunt, Lady Barbrey Dustin.

Ramsay smiled and it was the fakest smile ever.

" _Of course.. my lady_." he said and bowed his head slightly, not turning his gaze from me.


	5. Chapter 5

I decided to stay at Dreadfort. I am my father's only heir now, I thought.

Also.. I wasn't stupid. I knew that Ramsay wanted to take **my** place.

I am a Bolton and he's Bolton's bastard, I thought. My mother was a lady and his mother was some.. whore or something like that.

I had the moral right. Dreadfort is mine, it's my birth right!

But I am a woman..

I am a daughter.. and my father needed son.

" _If I was born in Dorne, I would be a ruler by now_." I said to my aunt and she smiled at me.

" _Oh Diana.. such a dreamer.. Too bad we both weren't born in Dorne_." she said smiling.

I always wanted to visit Dorne. I heard that the nature is beautiful and exotic and so is the people..

" _I heard that Dornishman are temperamental and romantic!_ " I said smiling.

" _You will "love" the Red Viper than_." Lady Barbrey said, while I was trying on dress after dress, all of them in house Bolton colors.

" _The Red Viper? Oberyn Martell_?" I asked.

Lady Barbrey nodded smiling " _Interesting person.. that Martell and all those Dornishmen. But I knew one Stark who was more interesting._ " she said.

I smiled. I knew that she spoke about Brandon Stark, the one who took her virginity..

" _A bloody sword is a beautiful thing_.." I said and suddenly we both burst out laughing.

" _M'lady_.." one tiny voice stopped our laugh.

It was Miranda, kennelmaster's daughter and Ramsay's whore..

" _Did you ever hear about knocking_?" I asked her " _You maybe can enter Ramsay's chambers like that, but not mine_." I said somewhat angrily.

" _I'm sorry m'lady.. I knocked but you didn't hear_." she said. " _Your brother sent me.. for you_. _It is time for a dinner.._." she said.

" _He sent his whore_?" I said looking at my aunt and we both shook our heads in annoyance.

My dear brother surely knows how to humiliate me, I thought.

Oh.. at that moment I knew little about his ways to humiliate a woman...

My first dinner with my lord father, my lady aunt and that.. bastard, together.. was surely an unique experience.

" _What a happy family_." Ramsay was sarcastic, and I couldn't help but laugh.

Though, nothing was funny to my father and my aunt..

" _I heard you decided to stay_." father said and I could feel that my aunt was looking at me.. I knew that she didn't agree.

I nodded my head.

" _I'm glad. Dreadfort is your home, you are a Bolton_." father said.

Dreadfort is my home, yes... and my property too, I thought.

" _Well if so, let's make a toast, shall we_?" Ramsay said but Lady Dustin didn't agree.

" _I thought you liked Barrowton_?" she asked me.

Oh, my sweet aunt.. she will miss me, I knew.

" _I love Barrowton, but Dreadfort is my home. I hope you understand that, my dear aunt_." I said warmly while patting her hand.

Lady Barbrey Dustin of Barrowton smiled. She understood the message.

" _Oh.. and there's really no need for that.. toast_." I said to Ramsay and I gave him the smile that said more than my words.

He also understood…

 **I'm back.**


	6. Chapter 6

Mornings in Dreadfort are for some reason my favorite.

I always liked mornings. They look happy, they seem promising, they begin with sun and end up in sun also.

There's nothing mysterious in mornings. There's nothing dark..

Mornings come after the night. They bring us light. That's why they look so promising, especially at Dreadfort.

My first dinner in Dreadfort after a long time, looked promising also.

My father accepted my return, my aunt accepted my leaving and my half – brother accepted my "charge".. or that's what I thought.

It was too easy..

" _M'lady_." I could hear the quiet voice behind me. It was a girl, red headed girl, with green eyes and pale face. She was very slim and small, but pretty. She reminded me of someone. Someone I used to know.

" _Yes_." I said while gazing at her slim figure and the girl spoke again " _M'lady I'm your new servant girl.. Lord Bolton sent me. He said you need one_."

I was studying her. She was shaking for some reason I didn't understand " _Why are you so scared_?" I asked her. I couldn't help my curiosity.

After my question the girl looked even more frightened " _M.. M'lady.. I.. I'm not_." she said.

Being the weird Bolton I am, I couldn't help myself but enjoy her confusion.

" _Girl.. you're shaking_." I said smiling and when she saw my smile she blushed and tried to smile back at me. It was the most innocent smile I ever saw " _You have no reason to be afraid of me. I don't bite_." I said warmly and she smiled again. My words gave her courage.

" _I know m'lady.. I just.. I never served a lady_." she said.

Lady..

I never saw myself as one..

Somehow even if everyone was constantly reminding me that I was a lady.. a noble girl, I never really saw myself as one. I never saw myself as a lady, that my parents wanted me to be..

Ladies are boring.. I _'_ m not!

I remember I used to eat in the kitchen together with the servants, but only when my lord father and my lady mother did not watch. If they saw me, I would be punished. They would be punished too.. the servants, the people of low birth.. It is a big crime to sit and eat with a lady.

Bullshit, I thought. They are people just like us.. just like nobles. Maybe even more than nobles.

When I was a child I secretly believed that I was a daughter of servants and that I was maybe adopted by the Boltons. Or maybe I am my father's bastard, just like Ramsay, I thought. It was a silly idea, but that's how I tried to explain my unusual behaviour.

I felt lost and lonely with the high - born people. They looked too formal and too fake.. like fake people, people who exist only to play politic games.

Fake people..

Eventually I became fake too. Sooner than I thought.

" _Well there's always a first time for everything I guess_." I said " _What is your name_?" I asked her.

" _Anna_.." she answered smiling.

" _Anna is a pretty name. Where are you from, Anna_?" I asked her and I took a step closer to her.

" _From a small village near the Dreadfort, my lady. I.. You probably don't know but I am a daughter of one of the servants who served you when you were a child, my'lady_."

" _Really_?"

" _Yes.. Your nanny.. Nora Smith.. The one who saved you from the outlaws! They killed her, but you survived, my'lady. Everyone in my family was sad because of my mother, but happy for you, my'lady. She gave her life for Lady Bolton. I am very proud.. Very proud._ "

My body was calm, but my mind screamed inside my head.

It felt like I was trapped. Trapped in my past, trapped in my crimes, trapped in.. Ramsay's madness.


	7. Chapter 7

The young girl who stood in front of me was Nora's daughter - daughter of a woman who died years ago, looking me in my eyes.

This girl.. Anna.. she knew nothing. They told her that her mother died a heroic death.

She stood there looking at me with that stupid smile on her lips.

" _Who.. Who sent you, again_?" I asked her in a shaking voice.

" _Lord Bolton, m'lady_." Anna answered.

" _My.. father_?" I asked.

" _No.. m'lady. Your brother_."

Madness.. This is madness, I thought.

" _I have to speak to my father_." I said more to myself than to Anna and Anna opened her mouth to say something, but I spoke first " _Stay here_." I said and left her alone in my room locking the door behind me. I heard her scared and tiny voice calling me but I didn't turn back.

Like a lost, mad person I headed downstairs to my father's chambers.

I knocked at the door and when I heard his approval I entered the room.

" _Diana_."

" _Father_."

I looked at him carefully. He has a plain face, beardless and ordinary, but his eyes are as pale and strange as two white moons.

" _Father.. I.. Ramsay_.." I knew what I wanted to say but the words wouldn't come out.

My father knew about Ramsay's behaviour. People were informing him about Ramsay. I, myself told him everything except about touching.

He knew about Domeric also.. He knew and he did nothing.

A real father would avenge his son.

But by killing his other son?

My father was a strange man, but in this kind of a situation he didn't behave much different than some other fathers, or better said some other lords would, I had to admit.

Ramsay is a monster, but Ramsay is his only son now.

I'm sure that he would stop Ramsay if he knew that he was going to kill Domeric. But now.. when it was done, father had no choice but to keep the bastard in the Dreadfort castle.

War was coming, winter was coming and we, Northerners could feel it in the air.

Father needed Ramsay. He needed his own monster to fight other monsters.

" _Speak Diana. What did he do_?"

What did he do? He destroyed me again and in just one sneaky move, I thought.

" _He sent Nora's daughter to serve me and he's calling himself a Lord_." I tried to speak in a calm voice. My father always spoke like that. He speaks softly and rarely raises his voice, forcing those who listen to do so intently.

" _Nora?_ " he asked.

He doesn't even know who am I talking about, I thought.

Gods…

I took a deep breath and started with explaining " _The woman he killed. I told you about her. I was little. We were.. Ramsay and I.. and Domeric. He took the knife and cut her throat in front of my eyes! He did a lot of things in front of my eyes… that's why you sent me away. And, well.. now he sent that woman's daughter to serve me! She was my nanny. The woman.. not the girl_.".

My father almost never smiles but I swear I saw a trace of a smile on his lips after what I said.

It was funny. It was funny to him.

" _And what do you want from me_?" he asked coldly and I almost started crying.

He saw that. He saw the insecurity in my eyes.

I turned my back, ready to leave his chambers, but than I heard his voice again. " _Emotions.. Try to control them when it comes to Ramsay._ " he said and left me speechless.

I thought about my father's words the entire day. Did my father know everything about my feelings? About my shameful secrets, about my pain, about my fears, about my hate? Did he know? Did my aunt tell him or someone else?

My father rarely spoke to me when I was a child and even later when he was visiting me in Barrowtown. He was almost a stranger to me and so was my mother. Only with my aunt I felt what it is like to have a parent.

I remember that when I was a child, I wanted Lord Eddard and his wife Lady Catelyn to be my parents.

I went to Winterfell once and I saw how they treated their children..

I.. a Bolton girl, wanted to be a Stark….

But who didn't and who doesn't?

I smiled to myself and those memories as I was walking through my mother's garden. There were no flowers there anymore.. Winter is coming, that's why. But with the winter, winter roses will be here, I thought. There is always a hope, even in a depressed places like House Bolton castle. Such a place was perfect for a story like mine.

" _Anna_." I whispered as I remembered that I locked that poor girl hours ago.

On my way back, I bumped into Ramsay at the top of the stairs, that are leading to my chambers.

He looked me with those ghost eyes and sent shivers down my spine.

" _Ramsay_.." I said quietly looking first at his eyes and than his lips. I'm insane, sick, I thought. I wanted to run away but I found myself captured by his gaze.

" _Sister.. Are you alright? You look.. lost_?" he said quietly, still gazing at me.

" _I'm fine.. This is my home, I'm not lost._ " I said and Ramsay smiled and followed me with his eyes as I turned my back to him.

Suddenly he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.

He buried his face into my hair and I felt his sweet breath on my ear. He drew me so close to him that I could hear his heart beat.

" _Dia.. I'm not your enemy.. You don't have to be so rude and distant. We were very close.. you and I.. We can be again._ " he whispered in my ear and I turned my head to look him in his eyes " _N.. no_.." I said and to my surprise, he released my arm.

" _If that's what you want.. well than.. Enjoy in your new servant girl. It is only the beginning_." he said through his teeth, his eyes burned in growing anger.

What have I done?


	8. Chapter 8

I always knew this day would come.

Years ago I run away… I run away from my home, not looking back, but I knew.. I knew that one day I'll have to return to face my fears and troubles.

Ramsay was a trouble..

He's one of those men you don't want to have in your life.

He's too unpredictable, too complicated and too dangerous and he can't be your friend even if you're crazy enough to want that.

He was my fear, big fear and I was alone in my fight against him.

My father is a special man, I thought. I spoke to him, I told him, but he was cold as always.

He's not going to help me, I thought. He fights only his own wars and this was not his war… for now. I am my father's property and he will protect me if Ramsay goes too far, but Ramsay is too smart to do that.

" _Winter is coming and you have to be ready_." father was saying to me. Winter has a special meaning for us Northerners and I wondered was my father preparing me for the actual winter, when he let his bastard so close to me.

Eventually.. I got the answer for that question.

Aunt Barbrey would help me anyway. She cared for Domeric, she always loved me and she would do anything to hurt Ramsay if I asked that from her, but I didn't want that.. I didn't want to drag her into this war. Ramsay, that bastard, said that "Anna" was only the beginning. He planned more evil things and I wanted my aunt, the only person I really cared about, to be far away from his filthy hands.

The only thing Ramsay can't do is to rape me or kill me, I thought. He can't do that, because I don't belong to him.. **He can't do that** , I was convincing myself.

Lords of Westeros are not rich and powerful only because of gold, armies and ships, but also because of their sons and daughters. Strong and smart sons for battles and reigns and pretty and charming daughters for alliances with other lords for those battles and reigns…

A, pretty daughter worths a lot of armies, a lot of land and a lot of gold. Father knew that, Ramsay knew that, I knew that, everyone knew that, so naturally, I wasn't in life danger. I wasn't in life danger thanks to my beauty and thanks to my name.

That's how the world works, right?

My beauty was a blessing, but my beauty was a curse too..

And my life...

What kind of a life we're talking about if Ramsay is part of it?

He's dangerous, and he'll become even more dangerous when he becomes a lord, I thought.

I couldn't let that happen.

He wanted me to be silent and to let him rule my father's land. A mad bastard to rule my father's land and my home? He who killed my brother Domeric, who was my father's rightful heir?

No.

I couldn't let that happen. I'm not that person. If my lord father forgot about that, if everyone forgot about that, I didn't!

I am a Bolton.

I didn't want to obey self - proclaimed lord.

I didn't want to obey my brother's murderer.

I didn't want to obey.. Ramsay… and he hunted me because of that.

He won' t kill me, no.. but he'll do anything to hurt me, I thought.

I couldn't risk my aunt's life. She had to leave.

" _You have to leave_." I said, not daring to look her in the eye.

" _Nonsense.. I'm staying here with you_.." she answered somehow coldy.

I was sitting on my bed, looking down at my hands, nervously turning my mother's ring around on my finger and Lady Dustin stood by the window looking at me. " _He can't hurt you. Your father won't let that happen, I won't let that happen_." she said angrily.

" _You're not safe here, aunt Barbrey. You see now what kind of games he likes to play.. That girl, Anna.. And you know what happened to Domeric_." I said.

Lady Dustin sighed deeply and sat down on the edge of my bed " _What made you change your opinion? Just a few days ago you said that Domeric died from some sickness of.. something._."

I looked carefully at her pale face. She has wrinkles around her mouth and eyes, but she _'s_ still a pretty woman. She _'s_ beautiful from the inside and out, I thought.

" _No.. I knew, aunt Barbrey.. I knew then, I always knew. I just didn't want to speak about it. Ramsay killed him and he'll kill you as well if you don't leave Dreadfort.."_

She shook her head disapprovingly " _I'm not going without you_." she said stubbornly.

 _"He's a sick sadist.. and he likes to play sick games and right now I am his toy! You're making me weak, because I am afraid that he'll kill you, like he killed Domeric!_ " I almost yelled at her.

But Lady Dustin crossed her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes angrily she yelled: " _You are stupid if you allow that_ _!_ _"_

Gods.. Why is she so stubborn? I asked myself.

" _I'M NOT GONNA ALLOW ANYTHING, BUT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE_." I yelled back, as I stood up.

Silence..

And than her voice again..

" _Diana.. Calm down. If you want I.. I'll come back later.. Just-_ "

My father would be proud, I thought. I managed to scare Lady Dustin of Barrowton..

" _No.. just go.. And now._ " I tried to say it with a calm voice but she didn't give up.

" _You should come with me. We should go back to Barrowton together. I'll talk to Roose. I'll find you a proper husband. You don't need Dreadfort. You're a lady, you only need the name you have_."

" _No_." I said " _This is my home. I told you already._ " I said.

The anger grew inside Lady Barbrey Dustin. She understood my emotions, but she didn't understand my bravery. At first she kind of agreed with me staying there, but it was before Ramsay brought Anna.. It was before, he started to play his games on me.. Now she saw that, she saw with her own eyes what was he capable of.

She wanted to say something but we suddenly heard the knocking and we both looked at the person who came in.

Anna..

" _M'lady.. Your lord father sent me for you and Lady Dustin. He's waiting for you in the great hall. The raven came_."


	9. Chapter 9

" _Raven came from Barrowtown. Apparently some unexpected murders happened there_." father said.

Oh how ironic those words sounded on his lips. Was there anything unexpected for my lord father?

" _Who died_?" Lady Dustin asked and my father gave her the message.

After a while father spoke again " _Some servants, nothing special_." he said.

Nothing special?

Those servants were people too! The.. damn human beigns!

And.. well, **it was** special enough for a person like my lady aunt. More than enough for her to go back home.. Human beign, or not, she was a Lady of Barrowtown after all and she had to go back. Her people, people of Barrowtown expected that from her.

Ramsay did a good job I thought. He stood there in the corner and smirked at me like he could read my mind.

Bastard..

He did this.. HE DID THIS, somehow, I was convinced.

Lady Dustin turned around to look at me. She smiled at me so sadly and I hated it... Don't smile at me like that! I'll be fine. I'm not stupid and I'm not weak, I thought.

" _I have to go. I hope you know what are you doing_." she said quietly and I nodded to her.

More and more people are going to die because of our war.. It's my turn now. My turn to kill, I thought as I looked at Ramsay's evil smirking face.

I was so angry..

So angry.

" _You look good in that black dress_." he said to me when we were left alone in the hall " _Black suits you_." he commented.

I stood there in silence, half turned away from him.

" _That was the compliment, Dia. I expect that lady like you should say "thank you" at least._ " he said smiling.

He is violent and sadistic, yet there is something almost childish about him, I thought as I looked at him. I studied him carefully. His eyes are playful and intense.. And his smile seem warm and sincere, to everyone who don't know him well..

He was close enough to me now, so I could even touch his face if I wanted.

" _There's no lady like me_." I said more to myself than to Ramsay and I could see that his face suddenly became more.. serious.

We stood in silence, while his eyes roamed over my face and all I heard was our heartbeat. He was studying me now.

" _You're right about that_." Ramsay said somehow softly, staring intently into my eyes.

" _Diana_.." I suddenly heard my aunt's voice. I could tell she was nervous " _I'm leaving.. Come, escort me to my carriage_." she said quickly.

" _I'm not going to leave you alone. Two of my guards are staying with you_." she said to me in the yard. " _He did this, right? He killed them_?" she asked and I nodded " _Oh, my poor child. Be strong_." she said and she hugged me very strongly.

" _I will.. I will, don't worry_." I whispered in her ear.

My aunt was the most important person in my life. She was my family, my real family.

I spent the most beautiful moments of my life with her in the barrowlands. I rode horses and I was free like a wind that was blowing through my hair.

Those were the days..

But those days will never come back.. just like my aunt..


	10. Chapter 10

Next morning, I woke up with a terrible headache..

Anna told me that I've been drinking a lot and that my half - brother Ramsay was quite amused by that.

 _Wine. More wine_.. Apparently I was repeating those words all the night.

Father knew nothing, because he went to sleep early and my maid Anna and Ramsay managed to hide everything about my behaviour from him.

Many thanks to both of them…

" _Do you want me to call maester Tybald, m'lady_?" Anna asked me.

I looked at her with my eyes half closed. She looks like an idiot, I thought. She knows nothing about Ramsay, her mother, me..

Gods.. This is too much for me and my conscience, I thought.

" _No.. I'll be fine_." I said.

My aunt, Lady Dustin, hates maesters. She calls them "gray rats". She hates them so much that she's often heard saying: " _If I were queen, the first thing I would do would be to kill all those gray rats_."

My aunt..

I hope she's fine.. I'll send her a letter tomorrow, I thought.

" _Anna, find me a dress_." I said and she nodded quickly.

She was a good girl, innocent and lovely…. at least she seemed to be.

Now when my aunt Barbrey left.. when she left me with my "everything, but nice family", I was desperately trying to find something positive, good.. something nice in this dark Northern fortress, that I never stopped calling home.

" _M'lady, do you want me to choose the dress for you or_ …?"

" _Yeah.._ _Bring whatever you want_." I said codly and Anna brought me a dusty pink dress, my aunt's favorite.

" _M'lady_.." she said while looking strangely at my left shoulder.

" _What_?"

" _The scar on your shoulder_..?" she asked and my memories came flooding back.

I was lying on the grass, looking at Ramsay who stood smiling at me.

" _You want to learn how to use the sword_? _Get up on your feet, now_!" he yelled at me.

" _Scar_.." I said looking at Anna " _It's a gift.. from my half - brother. The one you call "lord"_." I said.

When I was ready I headed downstairs to have a meal with my.. family.

Father gave me one of his small smiles and Ramsay winked at me and held my chair as I took a seat.

Now I knew what was his opinion of me ( _oh my new little toy_!), and so I was learning to ignore his fake hospitality. He won't fool me, I thought. Not me.

" _Did you sleep well, child_?" father was wondering.

" _Yes_." I answered and he kind of smiled again " _I'm glad_." he said.

Father took a sip of his wine and, with the courtesy that surprised me, he handed another cup to Ramsay.

He was never.. nice to Ramsay. I remembered how he insulted him many times, calling him "a bastard"... Ramsay considered it to be an insult. He never liked being called like that, especially not from our lord father, especially not when he was trying so hard to be his perfect son.

Maybe father grew fond of his bastard, I thought.

Oh... I wasn't here for too long.. Too long..

" _Starks will held a feast at Winterfell and we're invited_." father suddenly said and both Ramsay and I looked at him curiously.

" _The feast_?" Ramsay asked and father nodded his head " _Yes, the feast_." he said " _I was thinking.. Diana and I will attend the.. feast and.. Ramsay… you're going to stay at Dreadfort. I'm putting you in charge, while_ _we're not here_." he said.

I didn't know what to think... I was somehow happy and exited because of the feast (well, more because of the great and legendary Winterfell) but I definitely didn't like the idea of Ramsay being in charge.

" _You honored me, father_." Ramsay said, not very convincing. It looked like he also wasn't completely pleased.

Later that day I went out in the garden together with Anna. The sun was going down behind the hills and Anna and I enjoyed the view.

" _M'lady.. I never asked you.. Why did you.. lock me in your chambers that day when you first met me_?" she said.

This girl talks too much, I thought. She's good hearted and lovely, but she sticks her nose where it doesn't belong. She never really stopped with her questions and that was more than annoying for me.

" _Let me give you a little advice, Anna.. Don't ask too much_. _Just.. do_ _n't.._ "

And as I stood there with her, I saw a figure of a man approaching us.

Ramsay..

" _Sister.. It's getting cold. Would you like me to escort you to your chamber_ s?" he said and before I could even answer he took my hand and we started walking.

Nervously I looked around for any signs of people. I wondered where were those house Dustin guards…

Anna walked behind us. I could hear her small steps. But when we were in front of my chambers Ramsay ordered Anna to go..

He opened the door for me and we entered.

" _You and I.. We have to talk_." he said.


	11. Chapter 11

I was alone in my chambers with the cruelest man I have ever met.

I felt a shiver run through me.. I was as cold as ice.

" _What do you want to talk about_?" I asked but he didn't answer. He just stood there staring at me.

" _You said we need to talk_.." I reminded him but he remained silent.

He started to walk towards me, slowly, as if he was not quite sure about what he was doing.

He can't kill me.. Father is here.. I was repeating those words over and over in my head.

That gaze.. Those eyes.. I looked away, because it was too intense to handle.

Ramsay raised his hand and I felt his fingers stroking my hair.

" _Why are you so afraid of me_?" he said and gently grasped my chin and turned my head so our eyes would meet again.

It felt strange..

It felt strange to be so close to him..

" _Dia_.." he said slowly. He was waiting for my answer.

" _I'm not_.." I said quietly and he smiled " _You're lying_.." he said " _You're lying to me, sister. Why_?" he said playfully.

"W.. Why what? Why am I afraid or why am I lying to you?"

Ramsay laughed..

Ramsay laughed at me and after a while he spoke again: " _Both, Dia.. Both_."

" _Well_ …" I said and he raised his eyebrows as if saying he was waiting for an answer " _I… You.. You are making me feel uncomfortable_.." I said honestly.

I couldn't lie. I couldn't lie to him.. I was scared.

I was scared but I didn't want to say the entire truth. He couldn't know. He couldn't know for my fear. For all my fears.. It would make him strong and me weak.

I did well.. I answered his question, but I didn't say a lot, I thought.

Suddenly he grabbed both of my arms and pulled me closer towards him.

" _Why did you come back to Dreadfort? Am I right if I say that you came here to avenge our brother Domeric? Am I right if I say that you came here to get rid of a bastard called Ramsay?_ " he said and I could feel the anger in his voice.

He killed Domeric, I thought. He admitted himself. There's no doubt anymore, I thought. Ramsay killed my brother..

" _No_.." I said when he squeezed one of my arms tightly " _Stop it, that hurts. I'll scream_.." I said.

" _Scream as much as you want, but I won't leave you until you answer my question_." he said.

" _Yes. Yes. Yes. I came to avenge Domeric. I came to rule Dreadfort. I came to show you your place, bastard! Now let go of me, or I swear.. I swear it by the old gods and the new that I'm gonna scream and that the entire north will hear me_!"

I thought he will be at least worried.

But he was Ramsay Snow, famous bastard of Bolton. Famous for his cruelty and cunningness..

Instead of leaving me in peace like I wanted he laughed at me and bowed his head closer to my face. His hand was still squeezing my arm, but I wasn't showing the pain to him. I didn't want him to laugh again.. To laugh at my weakness.

I felt his warm breath on my cheek as he spoke again.

" _Scream than.._ _You can only scream._ _You're no match for me, Diana of House Bolton. I can end you here and now and in just one move... if I want that_."

" _But you don't want that_." I said quickly and without thinking.

Ramsay placed his strong hand, that was hurting my arm a moment ago, on my left shoulder and began to rub it gently " _But I don't want that_." he said quietly looking at my shoulder, my neck, my lips.. " _I have some other plans for you, sweet Dia_." he said.

Plans.. What plans? What was he talking about?

What kind of plans a monster like Ramsay could have? I was scared to know.. But I had to.. I had to know, so I asked..

I asked him and he looked me in my eyes deeply and said: " _Plans of making you, and everything here mine and only mine._ "


	12. Chapter 12

He had plans for me.. Plans of making me and everything I considered mine, HIS.

One cannot say such things lightly..

What exactly was on his mind I couldn't know for sure..

I knew he wanted to get legitimized. I knew he wanted to inherit Dreadfort..

But what about me?

I had some suspicions... He mentioned our games, he mentioned hunting and our "kissing games". Bastard would like to revive some parts of our childhood, I thought.

Sick person, he's sick, I thought. He's sick and I'm not much better than him..

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Am I pretty? I asked myself.

People do praise my beauty, I thought. Although I'm not considered to be the most beautiful woman in the Westeros like Queen Cersei and even if people don't praise me like they praise Sansa Stark, I AM considered attractive.. My looks in combination with my name made me intriguing for many young lords.. Well, not only for the young.. I remember that feast in The Vale when Jon Arryn compared me to Lyanna Stark. And some people actually agreed with him.

" _If I was unmarried and younger, believe me, my dear I would give my land and title for such a charming face of yours_." Lord Arryn said and got some "looks" from his lady wife and my lady aunt.

I must be pretty otherwise, Ramsay wouldn't take such interest in me, I thought.

Even while he was a bastard, Ramsay was desirable for many girls in Dreadfort. Some of them knew about his dark personality and some didn't… but all of them wanted him.

He was different.. mysterious, dangerous. No matter what they say about us, we girls like to play with fire.. and ice.

We like dangerous men. **We are dangerous**.

And Ramsay somehow always loved to touch me and to be close to me and he preferred my company over Miranda's, his favorite whore, while he was a bastard and especially later when he became Bolton.

That night when we finally faced each other and when we finally said what we thought about each other, he said that I WILL enjoy his company again.

The truth is.. I never enjoyed his company. I was lonely.. I was just lonely.. That's it. Loneliness brought me to him.. Loneliness brought me to him and sealed my destiny.

Of my entire family Ramsay was the only who took a real interest in me.

(Yes, I consider Ramsay to be my family)

He's the only one who saw me.. Maybe that's why I cannot hate him like I should, I thought.

It's my fathers fault, I thought. He cursed me with this relationship! He brought Ramsay to Dreadfort, he ignored my wish, my wish to be closer to my father… I wanted that more than anything. I wanted my father to see me.. I wanted him to be proud of me!

Ramsay wanted that too.. He didn't want to admit, but I knew. Father told me.

Lord Roose Bolton knew that his bastard Ramsay had "the father issues", but what he didn't know is that I suffered the same heart injury. I.. his trueborn.

So many days Ramsay and I spent together.. We've been through a lot of things. Ramsay taught me how to use bows and arrows and even a sword a little bit. He taught me how to fight and I taught him to think.

I have spent many hours teaching him history. He loved to listen to me talking about Targaryens and their dragons, about children of the forest, giants, even white walkers.. Oh white walkers were his favorite.

Ramsay showed me things that no one else wanted, because it wasn't normal that a lady of a great house like mine, competes in sword fighting or in wrestling! But I did all those things with Ramsay..

Did I say I didn't enjoy his company? Well.. I lied.. There were times when Ramsay was enjoyable.. But that was before the killings.. It was before he started to hunt people instead of rabbits and birds.

He frightened me…

To make things even crazier, Ramsay thought that we were connected with some.. force. Force of destiny.. That's what I thought once too. I even thought that I loved him…

Stupid girl.. Stupid little girl..

That sick bastard, who tortured and killed people, even the members of his own family, even his own blood.. That sick bastard thought that I was his soul mate, his destiny.. And the fact that I was Bolton didn't help me at all. He didn't care that we were brother and sister.. no.. He liked me even more. With time I became his obbsesion. Everything about me attracted him.. My looks, my name, my personality, our history.. Everything. I didn't notice at first, but even his whores looked similar to me.

Sick..

I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought:

What use is my beauty, my sea - blue eyes,my pale and silky skin, my delicate features and high cheekbones, my full, red lips, or my slim figure when I'm sick and perverted? I wanted my brother! I hated him, but I wanted him as well and that made me feel disgusted by myself.

If I was a man betrothed to a woman called Diana Bolton or if I was her husband I would have killed her! I would flay a person like her and burn her, and prevent her becoming a monster that she will.. eventually become.

There will be blood.. too much blood on the hands of Lady Diana of House Bolton.

Someone should have killed her on time.


	13. Chapter 13

While prepairing for our trip to Winterfell, Anna and I couldn't agree about what gown I should wear for the feast.

This girl is boring me to death, I thought while listening her explanations.

" _M'lady, I really think that black isn't the best colour for such an event. Black suits you good, but you should wear something more.. happy._ " she said and I think I probably rolled my eyes a hundred times, just sitting there and listening her light voice speaking.

" _Anna. You're my maid. MY MAID, AND NOT my mother or my aunt Barbrey. Save your advice, 'cause I won't hear. I won't hear, because I didn't ask for it! I only told you to bring me that black dress.. remember_?"

Anna nodded at me somewhat angrily and if I was in a better mood I would probably lecture her for that also.

But I was tired.. mentally tired from everything that happened since I came to Dreadfort and even before when I found out that my brother, heir to the Dreadfort died and left me alone in this world.. He left me alone with my cold and distant father, who can't care less for me and my psychotic half – brother, with who I am afraid to be in the same room without a knife, I thought.

Anna allowed herself too much, and it was my fault mostly. She always had something to say. But also.. She served me well for more than a two weeks now and even if she didn't complain I knew that it wasn't easy for her to live with the wicked Boltons. That's why I was "soft" with her.

And not only because of that..

I saw Nora every time I looked at her..

Ramsay's revenge for my arrogant behaviour on my first dinner at Dreadfort after all those years, was truly a sneaky and a smart one. Anna was such a "wonderful" gift. Not only that she was a constant reminder of Nora's death, but she was also more than annoying.. but kind - hearted and naïve too.

I pitied her, I hated her and I was worried for her in the same time.

I was scared that Ramsay would hurt her like he hurt her mother. He was watching her strangely, probably to annoy me.. He watched her and I could see that Anna was scared by that. Everytime he passed by us I could see that. And she didn't even know everything about him.. yet.

" _Here is the black_.." she said somewhat sadly and placed the dress on the bed.

" _Thank you, Anna, that's all I asked for_."

I stood in front of the mirror and started to put my dress on with Anna's help.

Suddenly we heard the knocking and I ordered Anna to open the door. I thought that it was another servant girl who was supposed to bring me some stuff I asked for.

Anna opened the door and I quickly understood how wrong I was.

Half naked I stood and watched Ramsay's reflection in the mirror.

I blushed and hid myself while he lustfully stared at my naked back and at my hands that were covering my breasts.

" _Ramsay.. I thought.. I thought it was Willa_.." I said quietly, looking at his reflection. Words cannot explain how stupid I felt.

" _Go, now_." Ramsay said to Anna and when she obeyed he shut the door behind him.

A shiver ran through me and I tried to hide my body from him as much as I could.

" _Don't._ " he said " _Don't cover yourself, you're perfect_." he said.

" _What are you doing? Stay away from me_!" I yelled, when he came too close, but he just smirked at me and hugged me from behind.

" _Ramsay, you can't. I'm your sister_!" I screamed. I screamed and he laughed at my reaction, still holding me with his strong arms.

" _You find me that stupid, Dia_?" he asked smiling. " _I'm not going to dishonor you, don't worry. I know my place_." he said.

" _Than let me go. Leave me.. if you really know your place.. bastard_."

I couldn't hide my anger anymore. This was too much. I'm a Lady. He can't behave like this. He just can't, I thought.

" _Bastard, bastard, bastard. That's all I am for you, for our father, for the world.. Well let me tell you something, Dia. Even bastards have a heart_." he said angrily and for the first time I had a reason to smile at his face.

" _I seriously doubt that.. brother_."

Scared and worried Anna entered my chambers when Ramsay was gone.

" _Did he hurt you m'lady_?" she asked in a shaking voice.

"No." I said " _He didn't hurt me. He just warned me_." I said more to myself, than to her.

I stood up from the chair and once again I looked myself in the mirror.

" _Am I beautiful, Anna_?" I asked and she looked at me confused " _M.. M'lady, you're the fairest young lady, I have ever met_." she said.

Fairest young lady…. I smiled at that. What else could she say? That I'm ugly?

I was a lady.. of house Bolton for her. The girl was afraid for her head.

" _Good_." I said smiling " _Go now and tell my father that I'm ready. We can go to Winterfell_."


	14. Chapter 14

A large, black travelling carriage, with two pair of horses, stood in the Dreadfort's courtyard waiting for me. My father also was there standing with his personal guards.

Where are those House Dustin men that are supposed to guard me? I was asking myself. I didn't see them for days.

Maybe..

Maybe Ramsay killed them, I thought.

No, no, no.. that would be too much..

Too much?

Ramsay murdered your brother, Ramsay's stalking you and you call this too much? He's a monster, Diana! He cannot love, his blood is bad, I was repeating to myself. Ramsay killed his own half - brother.. If he could do that, killing some strangers would be a joke.. It would be nothing!

Ramsay is a monster, but my father needs him.. just like he needs me. I can't kill Ramsay and he can't kill me, I thought. But do I really want to kill him and does he really want to kill me? I was asking myself.

Ramsay already said that he has some other plans for me.. He admit it. He admit it, unlike me.. I would never admit something like that.. I can shout at him, I can call him a bastard, I can blame him for every fucking disaster in my life (and I won't make a mistake), and I can even curse him, but I will never say how much I actually desire him, I thought.. I had my first kiss with him.. I can't kill him, even if I want that.

I hate myself, I thought. I hate myself, so much!

Years were passing, war was beginning, between people, between worlds, between ideologies and I watched that. I watched all of that, but nothing, NOTHING was more important to me than my own war, that I was fighting inside my mind. At one point, Ramsay broke me. But I was close too. I was close to BREAK HIM! And even if he never truly admit it, I knew that I managed to pull him off balance. And one day, I think I even saw what's behind those strange, blue eyes..

I was born sick, we both were, I thought.

" _M'lady, your father is waiting for us_.." I heard Anna's tiny voice.

I turned around to see her pale and small face, that I began to like so much and I noticed that there was something wrong.. Anna was like pure water for me. Her face reflected her emotions and she wasn't capable of hiding anything. It was a huge problem for her, because everyone could read her like an open book.

This girl, Anna, she can't survive a day alone in this cruel world, I thought. And same was her mother..

My father is waiting for me.. It sounded strange. He.. waiting for me.

" _So what? I waited for him so many times. Let him wait for me once_." I said proudly and I turned my gaze back to the window.

My father.. He stood tall and proud in the yard and several House Bolton men were around him. Nobody can match him, I thought. If only he had a heart as noble as his looks..

I have one strange habit. I tend to analyze person and to compare him.. or her with some other people I know. For example, my father and Anna, I thought. No matter how weird that comparation can be, it makes sense. My father has the experience and Anna has her innocence, I thought. They are literally so opposite with each other.. So I looked at my father and than I looked at Anna. She's a girl, obviously, and he's a grown up man.. mature and as I said before, experienced. My father hides his emotions (if he even has them) and Anna shows them.. She actually can't hide them.. She does not know that. Anna is weak, both mentally and physically, and my father is strong in every single way. He is educated and intelligent. Anna is not. Anna talks too much, unlike my father. He's a lord and she's a servant girl. So, who is more likely to survive on his own? Anna or my father?

I smiled.. The answer was too easy.

It's Logical. Anna is a low - born, and if I wanted I could have killed her and no one would care. But what will happen if I kill my father? I was asking myself.

My father.. A, terrible thought passed through my mind.. Can I kill him? Can I actually kill him?

Domeric is dead, my mother is dead and Ramsay is a bastard.. If I kill Lord Roose Bolton, I will be.. THE HEIR, I thought. Logics again?

I smiled at myself. Stupid girl, I thought. How can you possibly kill Roose Bolton?

" _Is there something wrong, Anna_?" I asked my small servant girl, wanting to get rid of "the killing thoughts" I had " _I noticed that sad look on your face before I got distracted by my father's perfection_." I said sarcastically, still looking through the window.

" _Everything is fine_." she said quietly and not very convincingly.

" _Are you sure_?" I asked her slowly, while examining her with my sharp eyes.

" _Yes, m'lady_." she answered.

She's lying to me, I thought..

" _Fine.. If you don't want to tell me.. than.. don't. Whatever it is, it's your problem and not mine_.." I said a little bit angrily and took a few steps toward the door, giving her a sign with my hand to open it for me.

Liar.. I thought. She maybe can't hide her emotions, but she's still trying to lie me in my face.

A, sudden anger overwhelmed me..

" _Anna_.." I said as I turned around to look her in her eyes " _Don't lie to me again. If you can't tell me the truth.. don't tell me anything. I hate liars._ " I said and the girl nodded obediently.

As I stepped into the yard, I saw my half - brother Ramsay and Locke, a man-at-arms sworn to House Bolton and my father's best hunter, listening to my father, who looked somewhat annoyed with his bastard.

" _Father.._ " I called him, wanting him to acknowledge my presence.

Turning round, he looked for a moment at Anna, and than at me " _Diana. You look lovely.._ " he said politely.

" _Thank you, father._ "

I stood there with Ramsay for a moment, while father was talking to Locke.

" _You really look good, sister. A, true Bolton.._ " Ramsay whispered to me.

" _Unlike you.._ " I whispered back.

Ramsay's face split into a wide smile and I was afraid of what was he going to say next. Everytime he smiles like that, it means that something is wrong. He _'_ s most dangerous when he _'s_ smiling, I thought.

" _I have a gift for you, sweet Dia_. _I wanted to tell you that earlier today, but your naked body distracted me. You left me speechless.. and with wonder_." he whispered in my ear.

" _What kind of gift_?" I immediately asked, ignoring his other words.

He was silent for a moment, like he was thinking about something and than he said " _It's a surprise.. I decided to leave it for your return_."

Locke, offered me his hand to assist me up into the carriage and I was shocked when I noticed that he put a little piece of paper in my hand. I looked at him confused, squeezing the paper in my hand and he looked at me somewhat warningly.

Right after I took a seat, Anna joined me and my father approached the carriage.

" _I have to give some instructions to Ramsay. I'll join you soon._ " Father said shortly and before I could even protest Locke shut the door.

What is happening? I was asking myself. What is this? I asked looking at my hand. Locke gave me this secretly, so it is definitely something important and something that only I should know.

I hid the message in my glove and took a deep breath.

I didn't trust Anna.

This can be too important. I cannot read the message here, I thought.


	15. Chapter 15

On our way to Winterfell we made a brief stop at one old Inn, near the White knife river.

" _White knife_.." I said looking at the great, northern river in front of me " _Isn't this the most important river in the North_? _I mean.. for trading_?" I asked father.

" _Yes, very important. So important that Wyman Manderly counts Warden of the White Knife amongst his titles_." father said.

Warden of the White Knife.. House Manderly..

" _But Starks control it.. They control the river_.." I said and father nodded smiling " _They control the entire north_.." he said more to himself than to me.

The entire north? Well Starks control Winterfell and they maybe control those weak lords, weaker than my father.. But the entire North? Maybe.. on paper. In reality no one can control the North. No one ever could. The North is wild, I thought. Wild and dangerous.. just like my half - brother Ramsay.

" _The river was infested with pirates, until the Stark Kings of Winter drove them away._ " father said " _I remember that you liked to read about pirates when you were younger_."

" _You remember? Really?_ " I asked, surprised that he would actually remember something like that.

" _Yes_." he answered shortly and offered me his arm " _Come_ , w _e should eat and drink something, before we continue our long trip. The Starks are waiting for us_.." he said.

Starks, Starks, Starks.. I was listening my entire life about them. From my aunt, from my father, from Domeric from everyone..

It seemed to me that only Ramsay didn't care for the Starks..

Well, it's because he didn't meet them, I thought.

Even I cared once..

For example, Lord Eddard Stark.. He is a kind of a father that both Ramsay and I needed so much, I had to admit.

But I am a Bolton, I thought. I can't think like that. I shouldn't!

I turned my head to look at the White knife again and all of a sudden, I felt some strange kind of pride.

Not only Starks are ancient and powerful, I thought. Not only Starks were Royals.. We also ruled the North!

Starks were the Kings of Winter and Boltons were the Red Kings.. Our land reached from the Last River and the White Knife to the Sheepshead Hills.

Starks won, yes, but we can't be called losers. Boltons were the only ones who didn't want to obey and I am proud of that, I thought. We knelt.. A Bolton lord bent the knee, but he was the last one to do that..

I will walk into Winterfell, with my head held high, just like I walked years ago when I was still a child. I knew than and I know now - They are not better than us, I thought, looking at my father as we were walking toward the Inn.

He remembers..

I started to feel bad for my thoughts about him..

Just a few hours ago I was thinking about killing him.. Apparently, Ramsay had a bigger influence on me, than I thought.. Or maybe I just have that "bad blood" too. I'm a Bolton after all..

I was too far away from the Barrowlands now.. and I was getting weirder and weirder.

Maybe.. Maybe father cares for me, I thought. Maybe he brought me to the feast to present me as his heir..

Really, Diana? You are **that** stupid?

He's taking you to Winterfell, to find you a husband.. and to find himself an ally, I thought.

I celebrated my sixteenth nameday, five days before Domeric's death. Father sent me the gifts from him and Domeric and wished me good health.

My aunt told me that he wrote her something about my future.. She wasn't precise, but she didn't even have to be. They started their quest for my future husband, as soon as I flowered, several months before my nameday.

When I told my aunt that I know what they were doing, she smiled at me and said: " _You never stop to surprise me, Diana. With such a brilliant mind, you can marry a king._ "

My aunt actually taught me some things.. many things. She told me what weapons a lady like me can use to get what she wants. So I wondered did Lord Roose Bolton forget about the fact, that I spent most of my childhood with a woman called Barbrey Dustin?

" _How can I not be brilliant when I have my father's blood, my mother's beauty and my aunt's brain_." I said to her than.

I was not born to be a political marionette. I am not going to be a quiet daughter and wife, or even worse - to obey and kneel before the bastard. I can do better than that, I thought. Dreadfort is mine, by right! No one will manipulate me. No one will stop me.. and.. marriage.. Marriage can even be helpful.

North needs a ruler like me, I thought. Westeros needs me! I hate hierarchy and I do care for the common people..

Oh Diana..

" _What do you want to eat_?" father asked me when we took our seats.

Father, Locke, Anna and me, were sitting at a large round table, pretty much unusuall for this kind of places, and several House Bolton kinghts stood around us, separating us from the other guests.

" _I don't know_." I answered.

" _You don't know_?" father said somewhat surprisingly " _But you always know everything, Diana_." he said and everyone around us smiled. Everyone except me.

If I knew everything I would have saved my brother from our terrible family, I thought.

I was still angry on my father because of that. He should have known that. He should have known about the danger. He's a Lord of the Dreadfort..

Very funny.. Very funny indeed..

" _If you don't know, maybe the owner knows_.." father said and ordered Locke to bring the owner of the Inn.

" _M'lord. M'lady_." the old man, short and fat greeted us.

" _Tell us what we can have for a meal here_." father said.

The old man spoke nervously. I looked at him. He's afraid, I thought. He was staring at the symbols on my father's clothes..

The old man heard the stories, I thought. Of course he did, everyone did. We are the demons of the North.. We are the evil ones, even now when we don't flay people anymore..

A, thousand years ago we bent our knees to Winterfell and agreed to abandon our tradition of flaying our enemies, but even today, people are afraid..

It is because of the Starks.. They are presenting us like monsters, because of something that happened centuries ago. Ever since the Long Night the Red Kings were bitter rivals of the Kings of Winter. Our Red King burned the Winterfell and we wore Stark skins as cloaks.

I smiled.. Of course they will present us like monsters, they are afraid of us.

We are the monsters from the bedtime stories they heard, when they were little.

" _..and for a lady, we have_ -" an old man wanted to say something, but I stopped him, slowly raising my hand.

" _Fish_.." I suddenly said.

" _A, fish, m'lad_ y..?"

" _I want to eat a fish from the White knife._ " I said looking at his confused face.

" _You heard the lady. Bring us the White knife's fish and some wine too_." father said and the old man nodded obediently.

I still didn't read the message, that Locke gave me. It was strange that we were sitting at that table and acting like nothing happened. I'll read the message tonight at the feast, I thought. There will be a lot of people, but I'll sneak out and no one will notice.

" _Black suits you, good_." father suddenly said.

" _I know.. Many… people told me that. Thank you, father._ "

" _You're welcome_."

" _Young lady looks exactly like her lady mother_." Locke noticed.

" _She does. But she has my blood. She's a true Bolton, she's my daughter._ " father said and I looked at him in surprise.

My blood..

My daughter..

I felt.. I felt my heart strangely warmed...

It was the first time that he said something like that.


	16. Chapter 16

The legendary Winterfell opened its gates for us and I could see from one of the carriage's windows, that almost everyone was there.

Although it was very dark outside, I could see that there were House Karstark flags, House Manderly flags, House Ryswell flags, House Umber flags.. It looked to me like we arrived last. The Winterfell's courtyard was full of people and all of them seemed happy and honored to be there.

Fuck them, I thought.

They are all fake.. Fake people with their fake smiles and their fake happiness.

I watched from that small window how Lord Eddard Stark and his lady wife, together with their eldest son and heir, Robb, were welcoming their "dear" guests. They were smiling too. Sometimes their smiles were sincere and sometimes they were not, but all the smiles died when they saw the black carriage, accompanied with the fifteen fierce knights, who held the House Bolton flags.

I knew what they were thinking..

Why do they still have that flayed man as a banner, if their aren't flaying people anymore?

That's what they thought..

They didn't trust us..

The Red Kings were monsters, they thought. They couldn't forget what they did to Winterfell and its kings. They couldn't forgive those terrifying Bolton monsters..

But I am not a monster, I thought. I maybe have some bad and strange thoughts on my mind sometimes, but flaying? I respect my family and our history and sometimes I'm amused when I feel the people's fear, but I would never do something cruel like that, I thought.

Maybe if someone hurts me too much.. maybe I could order someone to do that, but.. Me.. With my own hands.. No, I could never..

I didn't know than.. I didn't know that I was capable of doing something like that.

Locke opened the carriage door and stood aside so that father could step out. Soon, the Starks approached our carriage and greeted my lord father.

" _Welcome, Lord Bolton_." I heard Lord Eddard's gentle voice.

I actually had a very good opinion about him. Lord Eddard was completely opposite from my father. He was warm and gentle and he was friendly and honorable. Long time ago, I was his guest and that was my first impression of him. The impression that never changed..

I climbed down the steps, one hand holding Locke's hand, the other using the open door for balance and as soon as I placed my foot on the Winterfell's ground, all eyes were on me.

" _This is my daughter, Lady Diana_." father said somewhat proudly and reached out his hand for me, inviting me to stand by him.

Suddenly their smiles came back..

" _She grew up into a beautiful young lady_." Lady Catelyn said to my father. Looking at me with her warm, smiling eyes, she also said, somewhat sadly: " _You look like your mother.. A lot.._ "

" _And maybe a little bit like your lady aun_ t." Lord Eddard said smiling.

" _Thank you_." was all I could say.

Once again they surprised me. Once again they bought me with their Stark nature, I thought.

And than I saw him..

The young wolf.. The King in the North, how they later called him.

He took my hand and brought it up to his mouth for a soft and gentle kiss " _My lady.. Welcome_." he said politely.

His appearance favours his Tully side, I thought. With a stocky build and thick red-brown hair, he looked like a Tully. But the look in his blue eyes.. Yes, he's a Stark, I though. He's a wolf.. Those are wolf's eyes.

" _Thank you, my lord_." I said politely " _I don't know if you remember me, but we met a long time ago.. when we were very young.. I was here in Winterfell once_." I said " _I met you all and I had a very good time here_." I said smiling, looking at those Starks and they all smiled back at me.

" _How could we forget? You came with your father and when it was time for leaving you didn't want to leave.. if I remember well_." Lady Stark said.

" _I don't remember that part_." I said quickly with a nervous smile, looking at my father. I knew that he didn't like what he heard. He didn't know about that… He didn't know how much I liked Winterfell.

" _We're glad that you're back_." Lord Stark said smiling.

Suddenly I noticed some young men standing a few steps from us. They were looking at Robb and.. giggling? What are they laughing at? I was asking myself, but than I noticed Robb's annoyed face and I quickly realised.. They were mocking him.. and because of me.. Because of a girl..

Gods, they're like a children, I thought.

How is he going to find me a proper husband here? I thought, looking at my lord father.

But I smiled at their reactions. Although they were very immature, somehow, they were funny too.

Trying his best to ignore them, Robb offered me his hand, which I gladly accepted and a little bit nervously he said: " _My lady, let me escort you inside_. " Hearing Robb's words, Lady Catelyn, Lord Eddard and my father started walking towards the castle and Robb and I followed them.

The Great Hall is very large, I thought. Much larger than Dreadfort's.

Seeing my reaction, Robb said: " _The hall can hold eight long rows of trestle tables, four to each side of the central aisle, and can seat 500 people_."

" _Really? 500 people?_ " I asked in surprise.

" _Yes my lady_." he answered smiling.

Everyone who was invited at the feast was there.. The hall was full of noble people..

Maybe my aunt Barbrey is here, I hoped.

My aunt..

Suddenly an interesting thought came into my mind. The message Locke gave me.. Maybe it's from her. Maybe it's my aunt, I thought.

I have to read that message.. I have to read it later.. I cannot wait anymore, I have to know, I thought.

Robb escorted us to our seats and we found ourselves in the company of the Karstarks.

" _Lord Bolton_." Rickard Karstark said as he stood up from his chair.

" _Lord Karstark_." my father greeted him.

Lord this, lord that.. How stupid and ridiculous.. How pointless, I thought.

We are here, eating, drinking, dancing and calling ourselves "lords" and "ladies", but somewhere, some poor and hungry peasant is dying from hunger, fever or sorrow..

I wasn't some soft-hearted fool, but the hypocrisy and arrogance of all this "lords" who gladly spoke about bravery and strength was killing me. They are going to ruin me with their stupid stories tonight, I thought. And "ladies".. they are even worse.

The lords shook hands and took their seats and I took a deep breath, trying to calm my Bolton blood.

Suddenly I remembered my aunt's words:

" _You took the best from them, you know.. From the Boltons. I've seen that in Domeric too. Somehow you both managed to turn that mad Bolton's blood_ _into_ _something good. Just don't lose yourself.. Stay like this_."

Don't lose yourself.

Don't lose yourself.

Don't lose yourself.

" _Are you alright, my lady_?" I heard a deep, male voice call from behind me.

" _Y.. Yes_.." I answered.

" _Are you sure_?" he asked me again and I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me.

Tall, dark-haired man in his mid-twenties, with a thick beard and grey eyes stood in front of me. He looked fierce and strong, yet his deep voice sounded gentle and pleasant, to me.

" _Yes, I'm sure_.." I said quietly, while gazing at his tall figure and wide shoulders.

If I only had a personal guard, tall and strong like this man, I thought. Ramsay would be smaller than a kitchen mouse.

" _Good to know_." he said and smiled at me, while looking at me warmly like I was a child for him, or something like that. Than he held me chair as I took a seat and my eyes followed him as he approached Lord Karstark and whispered something in his ear.

" _That's Harrion Karstark, the eldest son and heir of Lord Rickard Karstark_." father said to me " _He's a fierce warrior and a smart man. Clever and determined, like all the Karstarks, more or less_.."

Harrion Karstark..

Warrior..

Smart..

Determined..

" _Good to know_.." I said " _Good to know_.."


	17. Chapter 17

After Lord Stark's welcoming speech, while musicians were playing the well known songs, the food and drink were served to the guests. There were all sorts of Northern and Westerosi dish and meals in front of me, but too bad that I always hated eating in public, I thought.

And than I looked around me. Do this people have problems in their lives? At least those little, common problems?

Of course they have, I thought. They live in the coldest kingdom in Westeros and they have the wildest land and people to rule, plus they probably have troubles in the family, common to all noble houses.

But, they were drinking, eating, laughing and enjoying the music like they're kings or gods, or like they're going to die tomorrow.. like this was their last night.

We, Northerners are special people, I thought.

Especially the northern nobility...

I was sitting between my father and my youngest uncle, who is actually my father's namesake, and Lord Jon Umber, commonly called "the Greatjon", together with his son, known as "the Smalljon", was sitting on the opposite side of the table.

Roose, the uncle, is a tall man, dark-haired and hazel-eyed and the moment he smiled at me, he reminded me of my aunt Barbrey.

" _She's grown up so quickly_." he said to his father and my grandfather, Lord Rodrik Ryswell " _How old are you? Eighteen_?" he asked me.

" _I'm sixteen_..."

" _You look older_." he said " _Rickard told me that he saw you in the Vale. He said to me: "Bethany's girl grew up and became beautiful.". I see now that he didn't lie._ "

" _Thank you, uncle_." I said politely.

" _She's too skinny._ " the Greatjon suddenly said.

What? Too skinny? How dare he? I thought.

I turned my head to my father hoping to see some reaction from him, but he was in something that looked like a deep conversation. My father was discussing something with Lord Karstark and he was definitely unaware of Greatjon's inappropriate comments.

Nevermind, I thought. I didn't come here to start a war.

" _You should eat more, girl_." the large Northerner spoke again, while smiling in my angry face " _Here_ -" he said and much to my surprise, he placed a huge chicken leg on my plate.

" _I don't like chicken_.." I said looking at the roasted bird's body part " _I don't eat meat, except for fish_." I said.

" _That's why you're skinny_." he said in a somewhat arrogant way.

I wanted to jump over the table and strangle him.. but than I noticed how he totally lost himself in the song, that was played, as he silently sang along and did some funny moves with his arms and shoulders..

...

 _"...A bear there was, a bear, a bear!_

 _all black and brown, and covered with hair._

 _The bear! The bear!_

 _Oh come they said, oh come to the fair!_

 _The fair? Said he, but I'm a bear!_

 _All black and brown, and covered with hair.."_

...

He's…. kinda.. funny, I thought... and soon I found myself smiling widely at his, to a Bolton like me strange behaviour. Seeing that, Lord Umber smiled back.

" _I like this song better than "Rains of Castamere".. I hate "Rains of Castamere"."_ I confessed to my father, when he finally finished his conversation with Lord Karstark.

" _Well.. There are no Lannisters here.. So, you have nothing to worry about. You won't hear "Rains"."_ he said.

Lannisters..

I've heard a lot about them.

The wealthiest house.

The most arrogant house.

The.. incestuous house.

The last thing I heard when I was in the Vale. Queen Cersei, willful, ambitious and beautiful daughter of Lord Tywin Lannister is in the incestuous relationship with her twin brother Jaime, I heard.

I heard it from Lord Arryn's mouth...

He said that to another lord, whose name I didn't know than, and he thought that nobody else heard him. But I did.. I was there hiding from those nobles, tired from their stupid, empty stories... Hearing such a big secret was the last thing I expected.

I didn't know what to think..

Having an incestious experience, myself, I... somehow wanted to believe that it was the truth. There must be more people like me.. I couldn't be the only sinner, I thought.

...

 _"...Oh, I'm a maid, and I'm pure and fair!_

 _I'll never dance with a hairy bear!_

 _A bear! A bear!_

 _I'll never dance with a hairy bear!"_

 _..._

" _I want to… dance."_ I said without much thinking, but when I tried to stand up from my chair, father pushed me back down " _You.. will dance only if I allow you that_." he said " _Do you understand, Diana_?" he asked me.

Those cold eyes.. Those curiously cold and pale eyes.. They are so cruel, I thought. I almost forgot how cold and distant my lord father can be.

What happened with the "my daughter" speech? I was asking myself.

My blood..

My daughter..

Well.. He won't fool me.. He won't fool me again, I thought.

I nodded my head. It was the only thing I could do.

" _Good_." he said, sipping his wine to hide his discomfort.

Idiot..

A heartless fool, I thought.

Good, good...

What is actually "good"?

What?

Nothing.

I picked up my glass and took a big sip of wine.

" _Uncle Roose_.." I called the hazel-eyed man, who sat beside me, suddenly becoming aware of how strange that name sounded on my lips " _Is.. Is my aunt Barbrey here? Did you see her?_ " I asked him.

" _Barbrey couldn't come_.." he said quietly.

" _Why? Is she sick? Does she have.. troubles_?" I asked " _I.. I wrote her a letter.. days ago, but she never replied_.".

" _She's fine.. She's just.. busy_." he said " _Why are you so worried about her_?" he asked smiling and I took another sip of wine, trying to calm myself " _I'm not_..".

Uncle Roose smiled warmly " _I understand.. You spent most of your childhood in Barrowton. And my sister.. she knows to be.. lovable sometimes.. When she's not nervous._ " he said and I couldn't help but laugh.

My aunt.. My old, bitter aunt.. I missed her so much.

" _Would you like to dance, Diana_?" uncle Roose suddenly asked and I looked at my father, the other Roose, for the approval.

When he nodded his head I smiled widely and grabbed my uncle's arm " _Oh, yes!_ " I said.

Many lords and ladies took the dance floor and among them, my uncle and me.

" _Make those_ _arrogant_ _fuckers envy m_ e, _please_." he whispered to me and I smiled. Finally someone normal here, I thought.

Dancing was my favorite part of the feast, because then I was the most beautiful, because then all eyes were on me... Because then I didn't have to think about anything.

I put one hand on his shoulder and one in his hand. He held me close and we danced. We danced and everyone was looking at us.

I saw that... I saw all of their eyes roaming over my body and when uncle Roose noticed their looks too, he twirled me around so that everyone could fully admire my silk, black dress.

" _Look at them_.." he said smiling " _Can you see how they_ _can't take their eyes off of you?_ "

I can..

I can see.. I see it, I thought.

I smiled warmly at his kind face.. That one dance meant a lot to me..

And than I heard _his_ voice..

" _May I have permission to dance with your lovely niece_?"

The heir of Winterfell, stood before me, tall and kindly, with a smile on his face. He put my arms around his neck while his hands were caressing my hips..

The song was something about fire and the heart...


	18. Chapter 18

" _It was a great pleasure to dance with you, Lady Bolton_." Robb said smiling and I noticed several times, while we talked, that his gaze ran over my body, before moving back to my eyes.

The way he looked at me.. He seemed pleased with what he saw, but I didn't feel like I was at the slave market.. no.. that's how I felt with Ramsay.

Ramsay looks at me like he wants to eat me alive.. like I am his prey, I thought. And Robb Stark was nothing like my mad half – brother. He was pure.. He was honorable and full of life.

" _The pleasure is mine, my lord. I hope you'll ask me again_..." I said and once again the smile warmed wolf's eyes " _My lady, I enjoyed the dance, but I would like.. more to speak with you. You seem like a very interesting person and I would like to get to know you.. better_." he said and it looked to me like he was a little bit unsure about his last sentence and even.. shy.

I smiled " _But.. we ARE talking, Lord Stark_." I said.

" _We are.. But, shall we go somewhere quiet.. somewhere.. more comfortable? Here are so many people around us_..."

" _You are bothered by the curious looks, Lord Stark_?" I asked.

" _No.. I mean_ -"

" _You mean.. yes_?"

" _Well_ -" Robb smiled warmly, taking my hand in between his " _I was right when I said that you're an interesting person_ -" he talked, looking directly into my eyes " _You are interesting and more than that, Lady Bolton.. You are intriguing_."

I was young, but as I said many times before, I wasn't stupid. He was trying to seduce me, I knew. Something similar happened to me at the Barrowton feast, when Ser Imry Florent tried to kiss me, after he convinced me to go "somewhere quiet".

Men.. They all think about the same thing.

" _We should sit at my table.. You like interesting people? Well, there are plenty of interesting people there. My father, my uncle, Greatjon.. It's not a quiet place, but_..." I said in a mocking tone and this time not only that he smiled, he laughed.. he laughed sweetly and he kissed my hand, which was noticed by all at the table, that I was talking about.

Robb was a man after all.. Young and hot - blooded... wolf - blooded.. but he was Ned Stark's son also. He had his father's manners.

But no matter how charming he is, he won't have me that easly, I thought.

" _So, are we going to join them_?" I asked him somewhat daringly, while looking at my father and all those crazy Northerners around him and with a smile he shook his head " _No, I think I'm good here_." the heir of Winterfell said.

Robb Stark liked me the moment he saw me, and that evening he would try to steal a kiss or two.. and maybe even three.. But something more? No. He wasn't Ramsay. He wasn't Ramsay, and that was one of the reasons why I wasn't afraid of him or any other man.. No one is dangerous like my half - brother, I thought. No one, and expecially not Robb Stark.

There was something about Robb that I liked very much. He was kind, gentle, polite.. He seemed reasonable.. But also.. there was something more.. There was something wild, but not bad.. Maybe it's because of his youth, I thought.. But I never really knew.. I never knew, because Robb didn't live long enough for me to find out.

He had his father's heart, big enough for the entire north, but his temper was different.. and similar in the same time. Eddard thought _duty_ , Robb thought _love_ and they both thought _family_. Lord Eddard died because of duty and honor and Robb died because of love and because of the honor.

 _Family, duty, honor_.. and love.. It looks like Lady Catelyn brought those values to Winterfell..

Well, she brought her words and I brought mine.

My mother believed that we all have significance in this world. It was meant to be like this, she would say.

Robb was meant to become what he became and it was meant for him to die young...

I can't say I always believed in that.. but after I saw those ice creatures.. and many more things, I started to believe. Even at that feast I felt like he was slipping through my fingers.. like he's going to disappear.. It was a strange feeling. Maybe I felt something, maybe I predicted something.. or maybe I just thought that he was too good for me.. too good for a Bolton girl.

Many times I thought about us, about what would become of our families, north.. if he married ME.

Well.. Winterfell would be my new home anyway...

" _And what do you want to talk about, my lord_?" I asked him, but he never answered my question. Instead of his, I heard his sister's voice: " _Robb_." she called his name " _You know Lady Alys, Lord Rickard's daughter_?" she asked him when he turned his gaze toward two smiling girls.

" _Of course_." he said somewhat cheerfully and he kissed Alys' hand.

The Karstark girl, Alys was tall and skinny, with a long face, pointy chin, brown hair and blue-grey eyes. She was somewhat pretty and I hated her. I hated the way she looked at Robb.. I hated the way she smiled at him.. I hated the way she talked to him...

Lady Alys' going to become my dearest friend in the following years.. but I didn't know that back then..

" _Sansa, Lady Alys.. this is Lady Diana of House Bolton_." Robb said immediately, noticing my serious face.

Both girls bowed their heads and I did the same thing. At that time I still had some manners and self - control.

" _Your dress is so lovely, my lady. I like the details.. They are so intricate and beautiful_." the red - haired girl said.

" _Thank you.. Lady Sansa.. I like your dress too_." I said " _And Alys' also. Our dresses are actually pretty much similar.. We are both dressed in black_." I said smiling, looking directly at the Karstark girl and she smiled back " _Indeed.. You are dressed like a Karstark, my lady_.." she said.

" _Who's dressed like a Karstark_?" a deep and somewhat strong male voice asked and when I turned my head I saw, a man who held my chair and talked to my father earlier that evening.

" _I am_. _It looks like.. the black color belongs only to you Karstarks_." I said to him and everyone laughed at my comment.

" _Karstarks and the Night's Watch. But I sincerely hope that you're not planning to join the Night's watch, my lady_." Lord Harrion said and I smiled.. I smiled widely, already having the right answer for him.

" _I thought about Night's watch, but Karstarks sound better. Maybe I'll join them_.."

" _Maybe_.." he said and a wide smile spread across his bearded face.

He's actually handsome, I thought. Handsome, strong, maybe even smart and certainly more acceptable for my lord father, for our house and our history, than a Stark.

But Robb..

Robb Stark was a good match for any lady in the North and the entire Westeros, and he would be more than helpful for the problems I had... and my marriage with him would be a good political move, if my lord father did not have other plans on his mind.. and if Domeric was alive...

He knew me better than I thought. He knew that I could seduce Robb and convince him to give me the Dreadfort..

A, woman to inherit Dreadfort? A, daughter married to a Stark?

My father had all of that on his mind and maybe even Lord Eddard... His son's marriage with a Bolton lady like me, would be too complicated and dangerous.. A, marriage like that could even cause a war.

I understood him.. I understood my lord father.. he was right about certain things..

But why is a bastard better than me? I was asking myself.

A, bastard son, who killed his other son, a true - born and his heir... was better for my father and his name, than me.. his true - born daughter.

" _Would you like to dance, my Lady_?" Robb asked Alys, quickly and coldly, offering his hand to her. It was _his_ reaction on my previous words about the Karstarks.

He doesn't even know me yet, but he's already jealous.. He's just a boy.. slightly older than me, but less tormented.. and still naive, I thought.

Alys Karstark glanced at him and smiled sweetly, taking his offered hand, but his gaze settled on my face, watching for my reaction.

I smiled.. My pride was always stronger than my emotions.

When they stepped out on the dance floor, everyone expected special things to happen.. But they got nothing.. No emotions, no smiles, nothing.

There were people who wanted to believe that Robb liked her.. that he liked her so much that he would marry her the following day... People like, Lord Rickard, Sansa, Harrion.. and even me...

Stay away from me, Robb.. I will bring you nothing, but bad luck, I thought as I was looking at them, sadly and quietly.

" _They look good together, don't you think_?" Harrion Karstark murmured, bowing his head closer to my ear.

" _Yes_.." I answered.

" _I'm not much for dancing, but for you, my lady_ -"

" _Don't bother_." I said quickly and almost angrily " _I'm tired from dancing.. I already danced with my uncle and with.. Robb. I think I'm going to rest a little bit_." I said.

" _Do you want me to escort you_ -?"

" _No, thank you, my lord_." I said " _I have to find my maid.. to ask her something.. She.. she's outside.. I'll be right back_."

I wasn't looking for Anna, and I wasn't tired from dancing.. I was tired from them. From all of them..

The real reason why I left the Great Hall of Winterfell was to run away from all those nobles.. from their complicated lives.. from the curious stares they gave me..

But also.. it was time.. It was a perfect moment for me to sneak out and read the message that Locke gave me.


	19. Chapter 19

I stood in the darkest corner I could find.. I stood there quietly and as I held that paper in my hands, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Diana, you fool.. You fool, I thought. What you are getting yourself into?

Most ladies think about feasts, dresses, songs, flowers, future husbands, but I thought about how to get Dreadfort for myself, how to get rid of my father and my half - brother, how to kill my enemies, how to rule, how to fight, how to not get married (well, more like, how to not get "caged", or how to not marry someone who listens my father more than me) and it was strange.. I was strange, I had to admit.. and even my own lord father once admitted.

" _My wife gave birth to girl, a girl her sister raised. You must be their spectacular plan_." he told me once.

After all that happened, my father could only say that he doesn't know who I am. A, true example of irony, I thought. I didn't know my father and he didn't know me.

I remember I laughed back then, I laughed hysterically even if I knew he didn't like that.

" _But.. I.. I am your daughter_." I told him.

Pulling my cloak closer around me, as some kind of protection, I opened my eyes and I looked.. There was nobody but me there.

It was safe..

I was safe..

Slowly, I opened the paper and I began to read-

- _Winterfell. The crypt._ -

What the f..? What is this?

I blinked my eyes several times, not believing what I saw.

Those words.. I was expecting something more.. specific.

Locke..

What did he mean by this? What did he mean? I was asking myself.

I hardly knew that man. I only knew that he was my father's hunter and that he was.. good.. in his work. My father trusted him and that's it. It was all I knew.

" _The crypt-_ " I whispered slowly, as I clutched my necklace with the flayed man, that hung around my neck " _The crypt_." I said it again.

He wants me to go there, I thought..

That's it! He wants me to go there!

Quickly and nervously I left my dark corner and I burned the message with a torch that was there. I didn't know what was going to happen next. I didn't know what was Locke going to tell me.. so I burned that paper, because.. whatever it is, it is probably important, I thought. He gave me this secretly.. He didn't want anyone else to know.

Even though I was confused, scared and even exited, somehow I pulled myself together and started to walk toward the crypt..

I had to know.. I had to know!

I went down the stairs to the yard and for a moment I stood looking at the people around me. Quickly I pulled my cloak closer around me, covering my face, hoping no one would recognize me.

Winterfell's courtyard was full of people and almost certainly someone would stop me and ask me "What are you doing here ALONE?" or "Where are you going ALONE?".. A lady like me shouldn't be anywhere without a trusted male companion.. BUT lucky for me it was night and I was dressed all in black.

Suddenly I noticed young man, standing on the top of the stairs, close to me, looking carefully at something or someone in the yard. Later I find out that it was Theon Greyjoy, sole surviving son and heir apparent of Lord Balon Greyjoy of the Iron Islands.

I stopped walking and I hid myself behind one of the carriages that were there. I couldn't risk being seen.

" _Hey.. Jon_!" he yelled someone's name " _Come join me. Robb has something to tell us._ " he said smiling.

A, man Theon was talking to approached the somewhat arrogant looking ironborn and said " _I'm a bastard.. I can't enter the hall.. Not now when those nobles are there_.."

He's a bastard, just like Ramsay, I thought. He's Ned Stark's bastard, I was almost sure. Even in the dark, I could see that he had that traditional Stark face, long, pale, graceful.. but also, innocent.

But he's a bastard I thought. I thought and I wondered was he power hungry and vicious like my father's bastard. If he was I would warn Robb. I would certainly warn him, but.. he wasn't, I quickly discovered.

Arrogant, cocky, and proud Greyjoy smiled widely calling that bastard an idiot, but Jon said nothing.. He bowed his head, fixing his gaze on the ground in something that looked like a sudden concentration. He was breathing slowly and deeply, like he was trying to calm himself.

He knows his place, I thought. Unlike Ramsay, this bastard knows where his place is.

Theon was a hostage. He was a young boy of ten when his father's rebellion was crushed and Lord Eddard Stark took him as a hostage and ward. He was raised at Winterfell, just like this bastard Jon. But surely even a hostage has more rights than a bastard.

I thought that he was going to leave, humiliated and angry.. I thought, he was going disappear somewhere in the northern darkness, but instead, he climbed up the stairs and stood in front of Theon, looking deeply in his eyes.. deeply, but not angrily like I was expecting.

" _Do you want me to go inside_?" the bastard asked the hostage, who now looked somewhat confused and less important.

Unfortunately for me I never heard the answer, because, before he could answer him, Robb appeared.

Robb appeared and I remembered - the crypt. I was suppose to go there.

I pulled my dress up, a little bit so I could walk faster and while they were talking about something, I managed to make a few more steps toward the crypt. I knew where it is, I was there when I was a child. I was there with Robb.

" _That's Lyanna, my aun_ t." Robb said to me, when he saw me staring at the statue.

Everyone knew about her story. The war started because of Lyanna Stark.. well, not only because of her. King Aerys II Targaryen loved to watch people burn to death and his people didn't like that.

I have my own Aerys, I thought when I remembered the reason why I was running and hiding in the dark like this, instead of being at the feast, dancing, talking.. seducing.

King Aerys was insane, mad.. That is why they called him The Mad King. He enjoyed burning people, killing people.. he raped his own wife.. well sister-wife.

He had even Lord Rickard Stark burned and his son Brandon too. Brandon Stark, who my aunt Barbrey liked so much.. He must be buried in the crypts beneath Winterfell too, I thought as I, cautiously entered the dark crypt, this time looking for different answers.

As I walked slowly, passing all those statues, I couldn't help but wonder what MY grave will look like. I decided I don't want a statue.. Well, only the kings and lords are supposed to have them, but still if anyone decides to give me that honor, like Lord Eddard did to Lyanna.. No, thank you! They look sad, forgotten.. Not matter how many candles you light around them, they still look abandoned.

I want just one little stone, with a name on it and I want flowers.. I want roses, winter roses, or white roses.. a lot of them.

Seven bloody hells! Where is he? Where is that man? I was asking myself as I stood there freezing and waiting and soon.. I got my answer.

" _M'lady_." he called me.

" _Speak_." I said.

Locke came a few steps closer to me, looking at the ground and when he raised his gaze to mine, he said: " _There are people who want to help you_.. _to protect you._ "

I cannot tell what I felt at that moment. It was.. a combination of surprise, pride, sadness, anger, happiness, many things..

At first I just nodded.. I swallowed hard and nodded. Tears welled in my eyes. Tears.

When I managed to calm myself I asked: " _What people? How.. how many of you_?"

Locke thought for a moment, like he was counting how many allies I had.

" _I'm not sure yet.. but. ten most important and most respected man, sworn to House Bolton are on your side, m'lady. They don't want to serve a bastard_." he said.

" _They send you_?"

" _Yes, m'lady_."

" _Nice_.."

This is great, I thought. This is the best thing that could happen to me!

" _M'lady.. I.. I'm not really into this. I'm serving your father and when the time comes I would like to buy a farm and to stop being.. You're a smart young lady, I'm sure you know what I'm trying to tell you_." he said " _I only did this because I owe this to your brother, young lord Domeric. I don't want to fight on your or on that bastard_ _'s_ _side_ -"

" _I understand."_ I said. Normally I would call him a coward or a traitor, but I didn't want to risk this chance. Only with this he helped me a lot.. he really helped me.

 _"Tell me where I can find those brave men who want to follow me_." I said and on my surpise, Locke smiled " _They'll find you_.." he said smiling.

And than, Jon Snow happened.

Truly, one of the most ironic moments in my life is when the black - haired bastard of Winterfell, out of nowhere appeared behind Locke _'s_ back.

" _We are not alone_." was the only thing I could say before Locke grabbed him and placed a knife to his neck.

Locke grabbed him and yelled at him and the young bastard swore to him that he heard nothing.

I was standing there silent, looking sadly at the struggling wolf and he looked back pleadingly. He didn't want to die.


	20. Chapter 20

Jon Snow, the bastard of Winterfell, thanked me for sparing his life. He kissed my both hands and he swore to me that he heard nothing.

Locke didn't believe him and neither did I, but I wanted him to remember my generosity. I had his life in my hands and I could have killed him, but I didn't.

I felt powerful at that moment. I was deciding about his fate, like a ruler from Essos, watching her slaves fighting in her honor.. to death.

That was my biggest weakness - the desire for power.

To be quite honest, killing him, would be a terrible decision. Lord Eddard loved his children.. all of them. Even the bastard, as I heard.

And I talked with Jon a little bit.. He told me about his mother, about his life in Winterfell.. He said that his brothers and sisters are treating him good and his father is good to him also, he said. But lady Catelyn, who seemed like a nice woman to me, hates him, he said and somehow, immediately I stopped sympathizing her.

Even if I had.. really bad experience with bastards, this Jon.. Snow.. he looked decent to me. I couldn't find anything wrong or bad about him.

Well he's Ned Stark's son, I thought. The blood of Winterfell runs through his veins. He doesn't have my weakness, or Ramsay's. He doesn't have "the bad blood", I thought.

I felt sorry for this.. Jon. Lord Eddard has only one bastard and he cares for him, truly, I thought. King Robert is his good friend but lady Catelyn was the problem. Jon cannot be legitimized because of her and only because of her! Lord Eddard loves his lady wife and he won't ask his friend, the king, to legitimize Jon, only because of her, I thought.

I felt sorry for Jon and somehow I think that he felt sorry for me. He must have heard about Ramsay, a terrible person, with who I shared a blood and later even something more, and maybe he heard my conversation with Locke too.

There was a strange feeling that we trusted each other.

On my way back to the Great Hall, Locke, once again, tried to convince me to let him to at least scare the young Winterfell's bastard, but I refused.

" _He won't say anything_." I said.

It was a good decision.. time showed me that.

Robb Stark, the heir of Winterfell and Theon Greyjoy, his father's hostage, still stood in the same place. They were talking, and judging by their big smiles, they talked about something funny. Soon, I discovered what their talking was about.

" _The Bolton girl.. she has a fine ass_." Theon said and I froze.. I froze and I stood still, waiting for Robb's reaction. They didn't see me standing there..

" _She has. But she's quite arrogant. And her family_..."

" _What about them_?"

" _Well.. They have a flayed man on their banners.. You know their history_."

" _You.. You think they're still doing that? Flaying people_?"

" _I don't know. But if they do, I don't want to have anything with.. well.. with the Bolton girl.. not matter how charming she is_."

" _Well.. to be honest she's not that pretty_."

As I said before, at that time I still had some manners and self - control, so I just went to the Great Hall, using another way to there.

I was hurt, disappointed and angry, yes, but I knew my place. Robb was a Stark and Lord Eddard's heir. I couldn't anger the future Warden of the North. In many ways, my future was depend on him.

" _You have to wear the mask. Always_." I remembered my aunt's words.

I remembered some other words too. She said to me that all men are the same. They all want power and they all want what's between your legs. The only thing that makes them different from each other is the fact that some of them are more dangerous and damaged than the others.

When I came back to the hall, I sat beside Lord Bolton, another dangerous man and a father to the truly damaged children, who immediately asked me where the hell I was.

I hated lying.. But I had to.

" _I.. was with Anna_." I said quietly, while he was looking me angrily with his cold, pale eyes.

Seeing that, Harrion Karstark took the opportunity to become my hero..

" _She was with ME also_." he said with his deep voice.

" _Really_? She was?" father asked, looking at him.

" _Yes_." he answered.

The tall Karstark stood behind me, resting his hands on my chair. He bowed his head closer to mine and he said quietly " _Will you dance with me now, lady Bolton?_ "

" _My lord.. I'm tired.. indeed_." I answered gently " _But we can talk. You can take a seat beside me now, when my uncle is.. dancing with your sister_." I said pointing my finger at the dancing couple " _They seem like a lovely couple_." I said " _Don't you think_?" I asked him, wanting to see his reaction.

The Karstarks wanted Alys to seduce and marry Robb Stark, the best match for any Northern lady.. and her house. And I knew that. Everyone knew that. It was obvious..

But to my surprise, instead of lecturing his sister, like anyone in his place would, Harrion Karstark sat beside me and took my hand in his.

I turned my head to my father and he smiled at me, like never before.

" _My lady.._ " Lord Harrion called me and I turned my gaze to him " _Our fathers arranged a betrothal between us-"_ he talked, staring deeply into my Ryswell, blue eyes _"...and I have to say that_ _I'm_ _very happy and honored because of that_."

Betrothal?

Betrothal..

I cannot say I was surprised.. I expected this. My aunt was preparing me for this for years..

But, still..

Even if I suspected that "the bethroal" was the main reason for my father to bring me to Winterfell's great, northern feast.. I felt like it was too soon..

And like he knew about my thoughts, Harrion said " _We won't marry now, though.. We have to wait a whole month, because of the preparations at Karhold. I want our wedding to be.. perfect.. just like you_." he said smiling.

" _I understand_.." I said quietly, not turning my gaze from his smiling eyes.

Suddenly I remembered my half - brother and his words...

" _I want you and everything here to be mine and only mine_." he told me and not only once.

He won't like this, I thought. He won't like our father's decision and thinking about that I wasn't sure did _I_ like it.

Harrion seemed like a nice person, but I felt nothing for him.. I also wasn't sure can he help me with my.. problems.

" _Love will come_." my aunt told me once, and of course, she was the right person to say that. My aunt Barbrey was in mad love with Brandon Stark. She adored him.. He was the first one for her and she wanted him to be the last one too.

Seeing Lady Catelyn smiling and talking to her husband, I couldn't help, but think about my aunt. Lady Catelyn took her place, I thought. She married Lord Stark.. Lord Eddard who wouldn't become the Warden of the North if his brother Brandon didn't die a terrible, terrible death..

But Lady Tully would become Lady Stark eather way. She was betrothed to Brandon first and my aunt claimed that Brandon never wanted to marry Catelyn and that the match was made when Lord Rickard Stark's maester, Walys, put the idea in Lord Rickard's head. That is why she hates them.. the maesters.

Eventually my aunt fell in love with her husband, Lord Dustin and I hoped for a same thing.

Love will come..

Many years ago, my aunt wanted to become a Stark.. and I think I wanted the same thing when I saw Robb for the first time after such a long time. He seemed perfect.. like a dream.

But it wasn't Robb who troubled me now.. Yes, I thought that marrying him would be nice, but apparently I changed my mind easier than I expected. Marrying him was a complicated idea from many reasons and at some point, I refused to think about it. I had my father's strategic mind.. and well, blood.

So, it wasn't Robb who troubled me.. It was Ramsay.. my first love. My dark love and my darkest secret.

What am I going to do with my sick, strange and problematic desire for him now? And what am I going to do with my right to inherit the Dreadfort? I was asking myself.

So many questions.. I had so many questions...

Well.. at least I have the entire month to think about that, I thought.

I spent considerable time with my.. betrothed, who told me to call him "Harry"... I didn't tell him to call me "Dia". It was Ramsay's nickname for me and somehow I felt like it was only his right to call me like that. I was hopeless..

And when the feast finally ended Harry escorted me and my lord father to our carriage.

Robb saw us smiling and talking and when I noticed him I also noticed the somewhat angry look in his eyes of the wolf.

Harry kissed my hand and helped me to climb into the carriage.

" _He's so handsome, m'lady_." Anna, who was already sitting in the carriage said and I nodded smiling, as my eyes followed his body, dressed in black cloak, patterned with Karstark suns, fading away.

When father joined us, he said:

" _Good job, Diana_. _I'm proud of you_."


	21. Chapter 21

" _We're home_." I heard my father's voice and I woke up to find my head resting on his shoulder. He smiled at me and I quickly pulled myself away from him, confused by this sudden closeness.

Dreadfort looks gray and depressed as always, I thought when I looked out of the window.

Winterfell is much better.. Winterfell is glorious and huge, and Dreadfort is not even close to its greatness. There's no castle in the North glorious and great as Winterfell.

But Dreadfort is my home.. I was born there and I loved this dark and strong fortress, with its high walls and triangular merlons that look like sharp stone teeth.

" _Feels good to be back, don't you think, Diana_?" father said and I nodded smiling.

As the carriage stopped, the door of my home opened, and Ramsay appeared with some men who were following him. I saw him carrying a smile.. a smile well known to me..

One of the men opened the carriage door and now Ramsay saw me too.. His sharp eyes watched me carefully, like he was trying to see is there anything different about me now. He was looking at me like he was afraid of my change, of something or someone that changed me when he wasn't around.

My father stepped out of the carriage first and he greeted Ramsay, who gave him something that looked like a letter. He said it was urgent and hearing that, father left the Dreadfort's courtyard and went to his chambers.

Before he left I heard him giving orders to the servants, who stood there welcoming us " _Prepare me the leeches_." he said and on those words Ramsay and I looked at each other.

Our father, the Leech Lord..

Domeric, Ramsay and I.. we saw him once.. He was lying naked and covered with them.

I remember that Domeric was disgusted by what he saw, but to Ramsay, everything was amusing.

Even though at that time, I agreed in almost everything with my crazy half - brother, seeing my naked father wasn't fun for me, at all.

I saw my father naked.. well, I didn't see everything, thanks to Gods, but his naked back, butt and legs were enough for me to feel more than ashamed... So I covered my eyes with my small hands and I never spoke about it again.

My aunt tried to talk with me once. She said: " _Those leeches that he loves so well sucked all the emotions out of him.. He says they make him better, younger, but to me, he looks like a dead man.. He does not love, or hate, he does not care_..." she said and she expected from me to say something too, but I remained silent.

I leaned out of the carriage, and put out my hand, that was welcomed by my half - brother " _I missed you._." he whispered in my ear.

Ramsay escorted me to my chambers and when he was gone I ordered Anna to bring me some food and after that to prepare me a bath.

I was exhausted..

I almost didn't leave my chambers that day.. I even told Anna to go to her room to rest... She was tired too. We both were exhausted and all we wanted was to sleep.

I was sleeping the entire day and when the night came I woke up.

I heard the dogs.. I heard Ramsay's dogs barking, so I left my bed and I approached the window, wanting to see what was happening outside. It was late for hunt or anything like that.. So, I stood at the window and I looked out, but it was too dark and I couldn't see anything.

What am I going to do now? I cannot sleep, I thought.

I was thinking about many things.. Ramsay, father, Domeric and what happened to him, my aunt, my future husband.. Everything.. And the only way for me to rest my brain from all of that was to sleep or to be distracted by something.

I decided to visit the library. Reading will help, I thought.

I ran my fingers along one of the shelves until I found the book I wanted - "The Dance of Dragons", a story about Rhaenyra Targaryen and her half - brother Aegon II. This was my favorite story since I was a child... I have read it to Ramsay many times..

Ironically this story has many parallels with mine..

Rhaenyra was the only living child of King Viserys I Targaryen by his first wife, Lady Aemma of House Arryn. She had two brothers, who both died too young. When Queen Aemma died birthing Rhaenyra's second brother, who died a day later, King Viserys, proclaimed Rhaenyra his heir, having all the lords of the Seven Kingdoms swear fealthy to her, promising to honor and defend her rights of succession.

She thought that she will become the first ruling Queen of The Seven Kingdoms, but her father, the king, remarried to Lady Alicent Hightower, who birthed him two sons, Aegon and Aemond..

King Viserys did not proclaim either boy his heir, but the older one, Aegon was problematic..

The king died and what happened later was the war.. a war that world didn't see for a long, long time. War of dragons, war of blood and fire...

Fire..

Fire!

" _Seven bloody hells, what.. is.. this_?" I yelled, when I saw the bright orange flames reaching high into the dark sky.

I was sitting in one of the chairs, still holding my hands on the book, and I saw it through the big window in front of me.. I saw fire.. I saw smoke and then I heard the screams: " _Help us_!", " _Water! Bring the water!_ ", " _Catch him_!", " _He's running away_!".

I jumped out of my chair, and I run out of the library.. Than I stood for a moment, not knowing what to do.. I covered both of my ears with my hands and I started to cry like a child... like a little child.

I have an irrational fear of fire.. It's something beyond.. beyond what is considered normal and I wasn't born with that fear.. no..

My half - brother.. Ever since he burned that girl.. Ever since then..

She was screaming.. she was begging him.. I was begging too..

Once again I begged.. I begged the Old Gods to stop this madness and I begged my family to come for me..

" _Father_!" I yelled " _Father_! _R.. Ramsay_!" I called them both, but no one responded.

People were running around me, crying and screaming and falling down.. No one seemed to notice me. I was invincible.

I sat on the floor, I sat there with my knees pulled up to me.. and I waited..

Apparently I'm not strong and brave as I think, I thought.

" _Roose Bolton, where are you_?" I heard someone saying " _Where are you, demon!_ " that someone said and suddenly I remembered...

Father came to me and Domeric in Barrowton once. He came and he brought, gifts and greetings from home.

It was Domeric's sixteen nameday and he was preparing himself for a trip to the Vale. My aunt almost cried because of his sudden decision " _Why do you have to go there, in that_ _mountains_?" she asked him many times and he would always kiss her both hands and answer her with a warmest smile he had.

" _Mother misses you both_." father said to us and while Domeric nodded smiling I had a different opinion " _She doesn't_." I said " _She misses only you when you go somewhere.. and sometimes maybe Domeric._ " I said.

Father raised his eyebrows, somewhat surprised and looking at my aunt he said " _It looks she has your sharp tongue. She did not reveal that talent to me before_." he said.

" _You wasn't interested_.." I said looking at him.

And that would have been our "normal" family time, but than something strange happened.

We were sitting outside in the garden and one man, a sickly and poorly looking man started cursing us and our father. He called him a DEMON and a MONSTER and when I tried to ask him why is he insulting my father like that and what did he do to him, my aunt, knowing me well, stopped me, by pulling me by my hand and we all quickly went inside.

" _What do we have here_?" suddenly the male voice spoke again " _Little Bolton bitch_.." he said somewhat playfully.

" _Who.. Who are you_?" I asked him, when I raised my gaze to the strange man.

" _I'm your worst nightmare.."_ he said _"I'm your God and your death_!" he said and he grabbed me and pulled me up against him.

With his arms around me holding me tight to him he said " _Your lord father.. dishonored my sweet Emma.. my sweet daughter.. my little girl_." he said sadly " _Maybe I should avenge her.._ _Maybe I should avenge_ _my daughter, by FUCKING his!_ " he yelled.

No, no, no, no, NO!

" _No, please_!" I screamed " _Please don't, p_ _lease_!"

And while he was putting me on the floor and pulling my nightgown from my legs, I was saying to myself: This is just a dream. This is just a bad dream!

But it wasn't..

I fought.. I fought, but he was too heavy.. I even bit him, but my teeth weren't sharp enough.

Dogs stopped him in the end.. Ramsay's dogs.. they stopped him before it was too late.

They came from nowhere and they sank their teeth into his dirty body, killing the man on top of me.

Blood..

Blood everywhere and before that, terrible, terrible screams of a dying man..

Blood.. and than, after everything.. only dark.. endless dark...


	22. Chapter 22

".. _this is just a dream, just a bad dream, bad dream_.."

" _Diana.. Wake up._ _Wake up._ "

".. _a dream, bad dream.. dream.._ "

" _She has a fever_.."

" _No, she doesn't. Wake up, child_."

" _F.. father_?"

I was lying in my bed and my father was sitting in a chair by me. He held my hand and the moment I woke up he looked at Ramsay, who immediately approached him, while looking at me strangely " _She's awake_." he said.

" _What... happened_?" was the only thing I could ask, but none of them answered my question. Instead of answering me, father looked at Ramsay once again and he said: " _Call the maester_."

" _No, not the maester.. Not.. those gray rats_.." I murmured, but again, they ignored me. Ramsay nodded to our father and he left the room, leaving me alone with him.

" _How are you_?" he suddenly asked and I looked at him. I never saw him like this before.. He looked.. concerned? His face was paler than usual and his eyes looked.. sad.

" _I.. I don't know_." I answered " _What happened_?" I asked again and this time I got my answer.. or at least a part of it.

" _We were attacked_." father said.

" _Who? Who attacked.. us_?" I asked, but he was quiet again _"You have to rest_." he said after a while.

Maester Tybald, a red-haired and round-shouldered man, entered my chambers and he sat on my father's place when he stood up. Ramsay came in too, staring at me carefully.

" _Lady Diana.. How do you feel? Do you feel any pain? In your head perhaps_?" he asked, but I refused to talk.

Aunt Barbrey told me many times that maesters are nothing but greedy little bastards, hungry for power, but hypocritical enough to don't admit that... and I couldn't get that out of my head for a long time.

" _Answer him, Diana_." father made it sound like an order and I refused again " _You're not answering my questions, so why would I answer yours_?" I said and I noticed Ramsay's smirking face " _I think that she's just fine_." he said smiling.

" _Well, m'lady, I don't know about your lord father and your.. brother, but_ y _ou didn't ask ME anything._." maester Tybald said and I rolled my eyes, already irritated enough by his presence.

" _You don't like maesters, Diana? Just like you dislike the men of the nights watch and septas, right_?"

" _Of course, father.. I don't like them, because I don't trust them.. and I don't agree with them in many things_." I said looking at the poor maester Tybald. At that time we were not good friends.

" _Well, this maester won't leave your chambers until you answer him the questions he asked. He's here because of you and your health_." father spoke clearly.. Clearly enough to convince me to do what he said.

" _No_." I said " _I don't feel any pain_. _I'm just.. weak_." I told the maester.

" _Weak? Well, that's understanding.. You suffered a big shock,_ _m'lady_." he said and than I started to remember everything..

A, man.. dirty, stinky man on me.. And fire.. smoke.. screams, dogs.. blood..

I covered my face with my hands, because of shame and disgust I felt, but than I heard father saying: " _No. You're a Bolton. Put those hands down.. now_." he said almost angrily and I did what he asked. I didn't even want to know what is he like, when he's angry.

" _A, milk will help.. any kind of it, but warmed.. Also a good hot bath before that and rest, a lot of rest_." maester Tybald said smiling " _You're strong, m'lady. You'll be fine_." he said.

It was raining that day and I asked Anna to help me to get out of my bed, so that I could sit by the window. I loved to watch the rain, I still love..

" _Where were you last night, Anna_?" I asked my maid and she said: " _In my room m'lady. I heard the screams and I was too afraid to leave the room_."

" _In your room_.." I repeated her words.

" _Yes.. m'lady_."

" _Why are you lying to me, Anna_?" I asked her and when I looked at her, she refused to meet my gaze. She lied, I knew.

" _Answer me_." I demanded, but she remained silent and that made me very angry.

" _Are you disobeying me girl_?" I asked.

" _No, m'lady_."

" _Than why don't you speak_?"

" _Because... you said to me once: "If you can't tell me the truth, don't tell me anything. " ..and this is me respecting your.. request, m'lady_." she said and I burst out laughing, on her and even my own surprise.

" _Respecting my request_?"

" _Yes.. m'lady_."

" _Get out_!"

" _M'lady_?"

" _GET OUT OF MY CHAMBERS_!"

She was Nora's daughter.. I didn't want to hurt her. Leaving my chambers that day was probably one of the best decision she had ever made.

Let's see.. My servant girl is lying to me, for some reason, I almost got raped last night, my father promised my hand to a man I hardly know and.. feel.. Oh Diana.. What are you going to do now? I thought while I was watching those raindrops race across my window.

That man said that my father dishonored his daughter, I suddenly remembered.

Could he do something like that? Dishonoring young girl, who is possibly my age? No.. Why would he do that? There are plenty of whores in Dreadfort.. It just.. it doesn't make sence, I thought.

But that man clearly said that my father dishonored his daughter.. Emma.. Emma.. I think that was her name.. His little girl..

Did he set the fire? The stinky man? Of course he did, I thought. It was supposed to be his revenge..

" _Come in_." I said, when I heard the knocking. I still gazed through the window. Now the rain was getting stronger and louder and that have been always somewhat fascinating for me.

" _Feeling better, sister_?" I heard Ramsay's voice and I turned my narrow-eyed gaze on him " _No_." I answered shortly and continued to watch the rain.

I didn't even look at him when he sat down, facing me, but his next words caught my attention: " _I could make you feel better_."

" _How_?" I asked coldly and he smiled from ear to ear.

I noticed then how beautiful white teeth he has.. and lips and.. his voice is interesting too, I thought.

" _Close your eyes_." he said quietly.

" _Why_? _What are you going to do_?"

" _Just close them_." he said smiling and I did what he asked.

* * *

 **I just wanna say thank u all for following the story and I would like to give a special thanks to darkwolf76, who is very kind and helpful.**

 **So...**

 **Stay tuned, people :) And don't be shy to review. Soon, things will get crazy with this fanfic!**

 **...**

 **And.. Merry Christmas! :)**


	23. Chapter 23

" _Whatever you hear or feel.. don't open your eyes, before I tell you."_ he said to me _"If you_ _disobey me, like you like to do, the surprise will be ruined._ _Do you understand that, Dia_?" he said and I nodded my head in silent agreement.

Don't open your eyes...

Don't open your eyes...

ARE YOU INSANE, DIANA?

He's Ramsay Snow, the bastard of Bolton.. He's up to something.. something bad, something wrong..

 _Open the damn eyes, Diana_ , my mind was screaming at me.. but my heart didn't listen..

" _What if it's something.. bad_?" I dared to ask, still keeping my both eyes closed as he demanded.

I just couldn't help myself..

Back then, when we were just children, Ramsay would steal me from my mother, her septa and their valuable, but often boring lessons and he would bring me to the woods near Dreadfort where we searched for.. the secret treasure..

" _We won't find any treasure here in this woods_." I would say after hours of searching and searching and Ramsay would smile at me, like only he knows " _Oh, sister_.. y _ou_ _'re_ _going to be surprised with what I found so far._." he told me then and one day, he even brought me a golden necklase..

He called that a surprise.. but it wasn't.

Ramsay was stealing from my mother, who had so many necklaces, rings and earrings, that she didn't even notice that some of them were missing.

I, however, had a talent for observing what my lady mother and my lord father and obviously my half - brother would just think of as not very important things. He thought I wouldn't notice. He thought that he was SO smart and I smiled at him.. secretly.

" _I want you to have something from me_." he would say and I would smile warmly at his innocent, childish intentions.

I was so blind...

It's still stealing, I also thought, but because he was so dear to me and because he wanted ME to have all those things he "found", I was letting him to play his little game.

It is just a game, I thought. That's why I didn't stop him when he tortured that young girl..

Lilian.. her name was Lilian.

Oh, I remember all the names...

He locked Lilian and he set the fire.. He set the fire and it was his first kill! I didn't believe that he would actually do that.. He's just going to play a little bit, and he'll let her go eventually, before it's to late, I thought.

He convinced me later, that she died accidentally. He said: " _I just wanted to see her reaction.. I even left one window opened,_ _but she did not see that, she panicked instead. She was a coward_.."

He convinced me that she died because of her stupidity and weakness and I convinced myself that all of that never happened.

A year later he had another surprise for me... Nora.

" _Nora will play one game with us_. _She will be an outlaw,_ _I'll be the knight of House Bolton and_ _you'll be my lady in trouble.._." he told me.. and I believed him.

I saw him then.. I saw his true form. He wasn't hiding, like with Lilian. He killed Nora and no one could have called that an accident. Not even Lady Diana of House "bad blood" ...

I should have stopped by now.. I should have stopped believing in the times when he behaved more.. normal.. In the times when he was ONLY stealing my mother's jewelry. So, I asked him "accidentally": "What if it's something bad?" and I noticed the change in his playful voice while he was giving me his answer:

" _It is not._ _Why would you think that_?"

He sounded, somewhat angry and offended and I couldn't help but shake my head in disbelief.

Why would I think that? Oh, well, Ramsay, for example, YOU KILLED OUR BROTHER, I wanted to say.. but I didn't.

" _You do.. bad things.. sometimes_.." I said, suddenly becoming aware of how equally stupid and dangerous those words were.

Silence.. and than his voice again..

" _Right now, I'm doing something good."_ he said _"_ _I'm_ _a good guy now, Diana.. the BEST you have. So, k_ _eep your eyes closed._ " he said, somewhat coldly.

Ramsay and his surprises..

Gods..

I noticed that he left his place beside me. He stood up, I felt that, I felt his absence and I hugged myself, suddenly feeling the strange kind of coldness.

He walked away from me, probably toward the door, I thought and when I heard him open it, I knew for sure.. Ramsay opened the door.

Is he... leaving? I asked myself.

I never knew with him.. Sometimes he was kind and sometimes he was an idiot.

He's leaving.. Ramsay is fooling me, I thought and I almost opened my eyes, but then I heard his steps again..

He sat beside me, but this time closer to me, and he placed something in my lap " _Open your eyes_." Ramsay said and when I did... I saw..

" _Puppy_?"

A, little, white and very playful pup was sitting on my lap and with his large, black, somewhat sad eyes he looked at me, seeking my attention...

" _Do you like him? He's an orphan, he lost his mother yesterday in fire."_ Ramsay said _"I know you have a soft spot for orphans_.." he said smiling.

A, soft spot for orphans...

His words almost always have a double meaning, I thought.

" _He's beautiful, Ramsay.. Thank you._ " I said to him.

I took the little pup in my arms and I hugged him, like he was something precious " _This is the best gift_!" I said more to myself than to Ramsay and he smiled " _I am glad that you like him_." he said.

I always liked dogs..

Domeric preferred horses.. he was mad for horses. He rode like the wind, like he was born on a saddle and I envied him.

I was never perfect like my brother. He was my father's perfect heir.. his pride.

I loved Domeric.. I loved my brother, but I was jealous on him also. I felt like everyone cared for him more than for me.. I felt like I was never.. never in my entire life, important like Domeric was while he lived and even later when he died.. when he was just a ghost of the past..

It's because he was a boy.. a man, I thought. People expect great things from men, but not from the women.

The only thing they except from us girls, is to be beautiful and to bear beautiful children.. And all of that with our mouths shut!

So, Domeric preferred horses, but I liked the dogs instead.. out of spite, perhaps. I did a lot of things out of spite or malice.

" _The dogs you take care.. they saved me last night._ _They just came from nowhere, you probably saw.."_ I said and Ramsay nodded his head.

He saw me, I thought. Ramsay saw me there lying.. Once again he saw the weak Diana..

 _"You.. found me.. Thank you.._ " I somehow managed to say.

" _The dogs found you.."_ he told me suddenly _"I came later, when that.. man was already killed._ _I saw you_ _lying.. in his blood."_ he said and I felt a little bit embarrassed now when I heard it from him.

He saw me.. he saw me lying there, hopeless and weaker than ever.

 _"I did not know at first, that it was HIS blood ONLY._ _I took you in my arms and I carried you. You seemed.. dead_." he said and looked away. He looked away towards the window, as if trying to put his thoughts in order.. He looked away like he was the embarrassed one and not me.. like he wanted to hide something, something that he thought, I would see...

Ramsay watched the rain now, thinking about something that only Gods could know.. And I watched him, thinking about.. him, of course.

How strange he is, I thought. He's nothing like other people I know.. My entire family is special, but Ramsay.. Ramsay is a big secret..

" _Thank you, Ramsay_.. _for everything_." I said, surpising him and even myself and he gazed at me with his ice - blue eyes again. They looked lost and they were shiny, almost like a mirror.. I could almost see myself in them..

" _What exactly was on fire, yesterday_?" I asked, breaking the silence between us.

" _The kennels_." he said " _The dogs who saved you.. I released them and they followed that man.. and_ _I followed them, because I knew that they will lead me to our enemy. They were trained for that, I trained them.._ " he said somewhat proudly.

" _He said something.. The man who tried to-"_ _the man who tried to rape me_ , I wanted to say, but I felt like I couldn't even pronounce that word - "rape".

I blushed and that was very unusual for me. Blushing is like something that would happen to Anna or to Lady Sansa and her Karstark friend, but not me, I thought.

I was wrong about the Karstark, though.

" _Your cheeks are red, sister_." Ramsay said " _Why is it_?" he asked and I blushed even worse.

What is wrong with you? - my mind yelled.

" _I.. I.. don't know.. Maybe I have.. a.. a fever_.."

Without a single warning, Ramsay placed his gentle, cold hand on my forehead " _I don't think so_." he said, looking at it " _I should call the maester_ -".

" _No! Not the maester, please, please_!" I said, holding his hand, tightly and he smiled at the expression on my face.

" _Fine, fine.. I won't_." he said smiling.

Here he is.. My father's vicious bastard and me, holding his hands in mine.

He killed Domeric, Diana.. He killed your older brother.

" _What did he say_?" Ramsay asked me, waking me up from my thoughts.

" _Who_?"

" _The attacker_?"

The attacker..

See, Diana? You could've just said "the attacker"...

 _"_ _He told me.. some really bad things about our father_."

My father.. dishonored a young girl.. Ever since I woke up, that thought was bothering me.

I couldn't even imagine.. Well, one lady shouldn't imagine things like that, especially not if it's about her lord father... but I wasn't an ordinary lady. I come from a family that flayed people for centuries. We were already terrible.. And now we are rapists too?

At that time I didn't know how Ramsay was conceived. I thought that his mother was a whore.. I didn't know that my lord father.. forced himself on her. I wish I knew that.. it would save me from having a lot of trouble with his bastard.

" _What did he say_?" Ramsay asked and I thought for a moment before I answered his question.

If I say it to him, he will tell the father.. He's trying so hard to be his perfect heir, now, I thought. He will present himself as a concerned brother and.. a son, of course. But I really had to share this with someone and I had no one except him.

" _He said that father.. dishonored.. his daughter, Emma_."

" _Emma_?" Ramsay asked and narrowed his eyes at me and I nodded my head " _Do you know her_?" I asked him and he smiled, widely, much to my surprise " _I only know for one Emma.. a whore_." he said smiling.

" _A, whore? No.. It can't be.._ M _aybe he talked about another girl with that name_." I said and Ramsay smiled once again " _No, he didn't. He lived here in Dreadfort.. I knew him. I didn't know his name, but I saw him before.. and there is only one Emma living here.. It_ _'s_ _my job to know that, sister.."_

 _"A, whore.."_ I whispered, thinking aloud and soon after I heard Ramsay burst out laughing " _Emma.. The dishonored whore_!" he said through a laugh and I hit him with the pillow, that was behind me, trying to stop his stupid, truly improper and somewhat humiliating giggling.

" _What? It's not my fault that her father was an ignorant fool_!" he said and I hit him again, this time on face, forcing him to stand up.

For a moment he gazed down at me as though something were troubling him, but soon he spoke again:

" _Emma, the whore.. I knew her well_..."

" _Knew_?" I asked narrowing my eyebrows at him and as he saw something intriguing or even irresistible Ramsay's eyes sparkled and he stepped closer to me.

He bent his head down and whispered: " _Emma killed herself_.. _She fell.. in love_.."

She fell in love..

" _With our father_?" I somehow managed to ask, but he did not answer.. Instead he pressed his lips on mine..


	24. Chapter 24

First, he kissed me lightly, almost as he was afraid to anger me or to offend me. It was our first kiss after a long time. He looked at me with his eyes full of questions.. He stared at me and for the first time ever, Ramsay waited for my approval.

We were close in our childhood, but we did not see each other for years. For Ramsay it was like kissing a stranger, a highborn stranger, his long lost friend, his father's daughter, his half - sister... a forbidden fruit.. _Beautiful_ , his strange eyes were telling me..

For a bastard like Ramsay Snow, kissing me was like kissing something expensive and fragile.

For me it was like kissing my sins.. It was like kissing my demons.. and I loved it.

Damn you, Diana Bolton! Damn you! You will burn in all seven hells for this and together with that pale - eyed demon, called Ramsay.

He kissed my lips again, gently, as his hand held my chin.

For a moment Ramsay Snow scared all the heavy thoughts from my head.. thoughts about my past, my future..

I enjoyed in him.. I truly enjoyed.. Only at the moments like this one, I thought about the present, only with Ramsay I was living in the moment.. I realized that. I wasn't thinking anything, I just wanted him to never stop..

But he did.. for a moment.

Though it seemed like it was hard to do so, Ramsay broke away from our kiss.

He removed the little hound, he gave me, from my lap and placed him gently on the floor. He than stood above me, wild and handsome, his hand reaching for mine.

The lust in his eyes...

He stopped only to continue..

He led me to my bed and told me to lie down, but I sat instead. It seemed to both of us, that I couldn't run away from my rebellious personality.. just like Ramsay never escaped his own..

" _I told you to lie down_.." he said playfully and arched his eyebrows at me. That amused me.. the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice.

As he saw the amused expression on my face, slowly, Ramsay knelt down in front of me, never breaking the eye contact. He took my both hands in his and started to kiss them. Soon his eyes and his hands were searching for my skin, and so he pushed his fingers up under my sleeves, forcing one of them to bunch.

I watched him rose from his knees, only to push me down on the bed, so that he could lie on top of my body.

He placed a gentle and long kiss on my forehead, when he saw the insecurity in my eyes and as soon as I smiled to him, I felt his breath in my hair and on my rose cheek.. He leaned down to press his full lips into my neck and I moaned slightly, as I bit my lower lip in pleasure.

" _I told you I can make you feel better_.."

His lips on mine were now soft and demanding. He began to kiss me harder, pressing himself against me and I started.. I finally started to kiss him back..

His hands were all over my body, quickly working underneath my clothes and as a response on that, I ripped off his shirt, revealing a muscular body of a Northerner.

" _I want you!_ _Why can't I have you_?" he hissed.

Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him closer to me, demanding from Ramsay to kiss my neck again with the same fire as before... No one ever kissed me like that. No one ever kissed me, except him.

I wanted him to kiss me there and hard, but he refused. He pushed my both hands from him and forced my legs apart with his knee. It was time for Ramsay's fingers to discovered my legs... and something between.

He was kneeling there on the bed, and as he gazed deep into my eyes, one of his hands traveled up the inside of my legs.

I stopped him.

" _Wait_.." I said " _This is wrong. We shouldn't_." I said and I cursed myself.

Something in Ramsay's eyes woke me up from our dream. I saw something new.. He never watched me like this before.

I was scared.. and I didn't know why.

" _But we won't_. _I know what I can't.. shouldn't do. You're a noble lady.. and a Bolton."_ his voice sounded innocent.. like a young boy talking.. but I knew better. A, killer like him cannot be an innocent boy.

He stroked my cheek tenderly with his thumb " _You're afraid.. I understand, you're a noble lady_." he whispered and when I scrunched my eyebrows in obvious confusion, he said: " _One day you'll marry a lord.. and there is a certain criteria for marrying a lord_.. _I know that._ "

" _Criteria_?"

" _Your maidenhood_."

" _Oh.. that_.."

My maidenhood.. Yes. That's what I thought.. This is what I was afraid for, I just could not remember at the moment. Ramsay confused me.

Maidenhood is very.. VERY important for the nobility. All present and future lords demand it from their future ladies. So, my maidenhood was probably the most precious thing I owned at that time. The only thing I actually owned.

Or did I? Maybe it belonged to my father like everything else?

I am his daughter and I belong to him.. but when I get married, I won't be his anymore, but my husband's, I thought.

Harrion Karstark..

By taking my maidenhood and finally turning me into a woman, Harrion Karstark will become my next owner, I thought.

Does Ramsay know that I am already bethroyed? I asked myself, while looking at him. Probably not, I thought. He would mention that.. He wouldn't miss a chance to make jokes about us, or even sometimes to show his well hidden jealousy.

Heavy thoughts... they came back again..

" _I would never hurt you, Diana.._ _I'm not your enemy._ _I won't touch you.. down.. It is not mine to touch.. not yet._ _"_ Ramsay said.

Even a lowborn like him knew.. Even a vicious bastard knew.. Only I forgot.

He would never hurt me? Something was telling me that he wasn't sincere. And what did he mean by "not yet"? Oh yes... he had his plans to make me and my home, his...

" _Get away from me_." I said coldly and without thinking. It was more a reaction on my thoughts. Ramsay did nothing wrong.. or at least nothing new, but everything about him suddenly irritated me.

I saw him questioning me with his eyes of a killer and I gasped as he started kissing me again.

" _Get away_!" I yelled at him, when I broke the kiss in confusion " _Go_!" I yelled at him, but he disobeyed.

Ramsay pulled me up to him, and somehow he placed me in his lap " _What? What is it_?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and his voice too " _You're acting like a spoiled, little, highborn brat_." he said and pushed me out of his lap.

He waited for a moment, standing there. He waited, probably for an answer, but when I said nothing, he left my chambers.. slamming the door behind him.

He left me.. and I was alone again..

I sat down on the floor, bracing my back against the wall. Where is my mistake? Why am I always alone? I was asking myself and the gods.

Mother.. she abandoned me long ago to live in another world and Domeric joined her.. Ramsay sent him to her.

My dear aunt.. a living woman.. I forced her to go.. I scared her away.

I am now left with my father and his bastard son, I thought. Father says I am his daughter, his blood and Ramsay "wants" me.

They think I am stupid.. Stupid girl..

Ramsay.. First he kisses me, then he curses me, I thought.. and then I saw the little puppy he gave me, standing not so far from me.

" _Come little one.. Come_!" I called him in a sweet tone and the playful pup approached. That brought me some joy.

I took him in my arms and looking at his cute, dark eyes I said: " _You will be the first to know this, little one.. and that's why I'll name you Lucky. Tomorrow we're going to do something spectacular! Tomorrow we'll see how much my family.. actually wants me in this world_."

* * *

 **Note: I changed the summary, because some reviewers were confused with the "she is far more dangerous, than her bastard half - brother" part. So I added the "in the later chapters" part..**

 **Diana was not born dangerous, but at least she's not stupid and even though she has her weaknesses she understands things right and she's not naive.. and that's something right? I can only say that life will teach her valuable lessons.. and make her more Bolton. Everything else would be a (bigger) spoiler.**

 **So, yeah, I hope I made it clearer now :)**

 **Once again, thank you for following and favoriting this story. To be honest, I write it only for fun and when I'm bored, but I promise I won't abandon this story, as long as I have followers.**

 **P.S. English is not my first language.. If I made some grammar mistakes, please forgive me :)**


	25. Chapter 25

The blood - red sun rose over the castle walls. Its red color is a bad sign, old people would say.. but I found it beautiful.

The day before I found _his_ smile to be beautiful.. Ramsay.. He confused me..

Now I see him walking with his whore, Myranda, hand - in - hand.. I should kill that little bitch, I thought.

" _But, no._ " I shook my head. I won't dirty my hands with her impure blood. Ramsay will kill her.. sooner or later, I was convinced. Myranda is his toy and he likes to torture.. and KILL his toys. Kill.. in every possible way.

A, toy.. That's what I was afraid of.. I didn't want to become his toy.. his next victim.. But I also couldn't stay away from him.

What is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with me? I hate him, I fear him and.. I want him also.

It must be my blood.. my bad blood, I thought.

I am a Bolton. My father is a lord and my mother was a lady. I am going to marry the heir of Karhold.. I have nothing to fear and nothing to want.. nothing to want with _him_.

But I could still feel his touch and hear his voice: " _I want you! Why can't I have you?_ " he said.

Why?

Why..

" _Because you're a bastard.. my father's bastard and my brother's murderer_." I whispered while looking at him and his smiling little harlot.

I watched them from my window.. He stroked her silky hair and she gave Ramsay a smile..

She smiled to him, the same way I smiled, yesterday, I thought. He's going to pay her a visit later, after he eats with father and me.. with his family that don't recognize him.

But she recognizes him.. She's giving him what I can't and what I won't. They are doing that every night.. I heard it from some women in the kitchen. They often gossip with each other about my father's bastard and his whore.. or better said whores.

Since I came back home from Barrowton I find them too many times giggling about that. They find his relationships "exciting". Am I jealous? On Ramsay and his.. bitches? I asked myself.

Somehow, I was feeling frustrated when he wasn't giving me all his attention. I don't know why.. I was never arrogant.. Or at least I thought that.

He excites me.. it's what my bad blood needs, I thought.

Gods.. I'm losing myself...

My aunt.. She warned me once " _Don't lose yourself_." she said.

 _Don't.. don't lose yourself_ , my mind whispered to me.

Suddenly, I heard three, somewhat soft knocks and after that, a voice.. A, voice of a truly lost girl.

" _M'lady_.."

" _Anna_."

She stood there.. small and stupid. She didn't even dare to look at me straight. Her figure was tiny, just like her voice: " _Forgive me_." she said.

Forgive what, exactly? I thought as I watched her approaching me slowly.

Anna took a few more steps closer to me " _Forgive me, m'lady.._." she said, almost in a whisper " _I'm so stupid_.." she continued " _You're my only fr- The only person who.. care.. for me_.. _and I failed you_."

I watched the shaking girl in surprise. Her greenish eyes were full of tears, but also.. hope. Her eyes begged me and I didn't know why.

I was well aware of how boring and annoying she was, but I totally forgot about our little conflict, a day ago, when I scared her away. Compared to a problem called "Ramsay" she was almost completely unimportant to me.

" _I'm so stupid_!" she said again and she knelt down before me " _I beg you, m'lady, let me stay by your side.. Let me be your maid again."_

 _But.. I did not fire you,_ I wanted to say, and I opened my mouth, but she was faster: _"I won't lie again, I promise! I know you don_ _'t like that.. I understand it now._ _If you want I will tell you everything, just.. PLEASE!_ "

 _I won't lie again,_ I repeated her words in my mind.

Lie..

I thought about her. The day she came.. Ramsay.. He sent her..

Gods, he sent her.. I shouldn't have accepted her.. She is probably spying me for him, I thought and I expected from her to admit that crime, but I heard something completely different.

" _Stand up. Now._ " I said and the girl obeyed.

" _M'lady_ -"

" _Shut up_."

She now stood before me, scared and crying and when I allowed her to speak again, she said: " _My father_.." she started " _He.. demanded from me to.. to.. give him the gold you were giving me for my job, m'lady.. all of it-_ "

Her father? Gold? Job? What is she talking about? I was asking myself.

" _He.. said_ " _You are working for Lady Bolton, now. She's giving you gifts and food and security.. but your family still lives in the woods, like wild animals._ "" Anna spoke somewhat angrily " _I loved my father once, but now.. he.. he torments me.. and my brothers too_ -"

" _Stop_." I said " _Is this what you were hiding from me_? _Is this all?_ " I asked her and she nodded her head in answer.

I couldn't tell was she lying again. She looked.. sad. She looked even more than sad, she looked.. hopeless.

Yes.. hopeless is a word.. The right word.

" _I thought you were.. modest, honorable people_.." I said in somewhat disappointment.

" _We are, m'lady.. It's just.. My father is not the same, ever since_ -"

" _... your mother died_."

" _Yes.. m'lady_."

My father never suffered because of his wife's death. It didn't seem to distract him from his usual coldness. He didn't cry, he didn't weep.. he didn't even look sad.

Her funeral was the first one I attended. I was fourteen.. and I also didn't cry. I stood by my father.. he watched and I didn't want to disappoint him.

I forgave the girl.. I forgave Anna. I even gave her a hug when she started to talk about Nora. The memory of Nora was my weak point, as well as suffering of the common people.

I admit.. I idealized them. I didn't know then how selfish and cruel a lowborn can be.

" _I will protect you_!" I said to her, my blue eyes looking deeply in her green " _And_ _I'll send men to bring your brothers to the castle_." I said

" _And my.. f.. father_?" she asked me.

" _No. Not your father_." I said " _I'm tired of weak men_. _I understand his pain.. but I don't understand why he finds you and your siblings guilty for.. what happened to your mother. He won_ _'t come here.. not here._ "

Weak..

Weakness..

My entire life, people are telling me that I have to be strong.

Weaknesses are bad.. Weaknesses are not allowed. I am a Bolton and Boltons are strong. Strong and wise.. Wise and fierce.

Anna was brushing my hair when another servant girl, Willa entered my bedchambers.

" _M'lady, your father called for you_."

He called for me..

I remembered him saying to me once that I will come back home, when he calls me.. but he never did. I had to "call myself".. I had to invite myself to Domeric's funeral.. Father never demanded my presence. He was surprised when he heard that I want to stay in Dreadfort.

" _Anna_.." I said her name and she stopped brushing my hair.

" _Yes m'lady_?"

" _Bring me the dark red dress.. The open front one._ " I said and both girls looked at me in surprise.

" _What_?" I said looking first at Anna and then at Willa.

" _M'lady.. isn't that dress a little bit.. provocative_?" Anna asked.

" _It is. So_?"

" _M'lady_ -" the red - haired girl tried to say something, but I hushed her " _Anna_ -" I spoke looking at her " _Don't make me regret this morning's decision_. _I like you, but you have to stop questioning my decisions_." I said and she nodded her head somewhat sadly.

While Anna was searching for the dress I demanded, Willa was doing my hair.

" _What would you like me to do with your hair, m'lady_?" Willa asked me and I smirked " _I don't know_.. _Just don't cut it_." I said smiling.

" _M'lady, I would never_ -"

" _I know, Willa, I know... Don't you people have a sense for_ _humour_?" I said looking at them both " _I won't behead you for laughing. Seven hells.. I am not Ramsay.. or my father. Why are you all so scared of me_?" I asked and the girls looked at each other in somewhat confusion.

" _What_?" I asked and the black - haired one suddenly spoke " _You are scary sometimes, m'lady_." she said, looking at me, but for some reason, my eyes were searching for Anna, who stared at Willa in somewhat disbelief.

" _When_?" I asked.

" _M'lady_?"

" _When did, or do I look scary to you_?"

" _W-when.. you_ -"

" _When you are angry."_ Anna said, suddenly discovering her bravery.

" _When.. you.. shout_." Willa added quietly.

" _I never shouted at you, or in front of you, Willa_." I said, looking at her confused eyes " _Did Anna tell you that? Are you whispering in the kitchen about me_?" I asked and they both shook their heads.

" _No, no, m'lady_.." Anna said, her voice was tiny again " _It's just.. other people.. they.. say things.._ " she said and I saw in her eyes that she immediately regretted her words. I said too much, she probably thought.

" _What do they say_?" I was curious to know.

Anna looked somewhat pleadingly at Willa and the black - haired girl decided to speak instead of her.

" _They say.. you are the same as your lord father was in your age. You have the same dangerous mind. And also.. they say.. you killed.. Emma's father. You_ _butchered him, they say._ "

" _I didn't kill him, hounds did_!" I protested instantly " _And that Emma.. I didn't even know her. I heard she was a whore_ -"

" _She was your father's mistress_.." Willa said.

" _She carried Lord Bolton's child_." Anna added.

Mistress? My father had a mistress? And.. child...

I looked at Anna in shock and surprise, somehow giving her a sign with my hand to continue.

" _People say you killed her. You hanged her_ _.._ _You and Ramsay,_ _because of the babe. You made it look like she killed herself. They say you didn't like the idea of having another bastard brother.. or even sister_." she said.

Well, that's true.. about bastards, I thought. I don't want more siblings.. but I didn't kill that woman, I was in Winterfell for the Old Gods sake! How could I possibly..? I didn't have time for that!

" _Maester_ _Tybald_ _say you need leaching_." Willa said, nodding her head.

Leaching? What the..?

I was in shock. My people think that? About me?

And that stupid maester.. I knew he was an idiot.. I knew it! Stupid gray rat, I thought.

" _What else they say_?" I asked and the girls looked at each other again.

" _Seven hells, stop staring at each other, speak already!_ " I yelled, and again Willa started: " _You and your broth-.. half - brother are.. plotting something.. against Lord Bolton_."

" _Ramsay and I_? _Against my father_?" I asked in shock and they both nodded their heads.

" _Well, that.. is just wrong.. I would never.. with him-_ "

" _They say he.. often visits you.. at night_." Willa said and I noticed that Anna gave her a "you said too much, now" look.

" _Who said that? I want names_!"

" _Well... there's Hanna, Lia, Morgan, Pitt, Old Mace-_ "

" _They all say that_?"

" _Yes, m'lady_."

Fuck..

Running my fingers through my hair, I took a deep breath " _Is there anything else you have to share with me_?" I asked, trying to sound calm.

" _No, m'lady_." they both answered and in the same time.

" _Good_." I said " _Willa.. I want braids.. Braids on top of my head_. _I am going to talk to my.. weird family now and I want to look like a fucking goddess_." I said and suddenly both Willa and Anna burst out in laughter.

" _Nice_.." I said " _You do have a sense of humour_."


	26. Chapter 26

The world is cruel to the women. From the moment we open our eyes for the very first time, the world knows we are here to live in the shadow of our fathers, brothers, husbands.. sons... and some women accept that role easily.. but some.. never.

My aunt told me once: " _In this world, if you're a high born woman, you suffer, if you're a low born you suffer a lot. This is why you need to learn to think.. to fight like a true woman. No man will fight women_ _'s_ _battles.. Maybe a man like Eddard Stark and his sons one day, if they are like him, but.. most.. no._ "

We, girls.. we can feel truly powerful, only when we look beautiful.. It's in our nature.. Most of us want to be seen and noticed, even when we say that we actually don't want that.

Of course we want the recognition.. The recognition of beauty, more than any other.

Beauty.. It's the only thing the men left us..

Dresses doesn't make the woman... but they can help. Sometimes a little bit provocative, but still sophisticated dress, can make you feel.. braver.

A, dress can help, a nice hairstyle too, jewerly also.. but nothing can be more helpful than beauty and charm of a woman behind all of that. It's their.. men's biggest weakness.

I had the beauty, a rare Northern beauty, mother would say.. and it became even more obvious as I grew older.

But my charm, was a better friend to me, than the pretty face, that everyone, slowly, with years started to recognize more and more..

Of what use was the beauty of Sansa Stark's face to her, when she ended up in bed with a Northern demon? Of what use was my beauty, to me, just a year before Sansa replaced me there?

A smart girl does everything in her power, so that people can notice her as a woman worth admiring, or even better, falling in love.

" _Without charm.. Without your brain, you are nothing. A, man will take your body, once, twice, ten times and quickly he will get bored with you, for there are many women in this world more beautiful than you.. and some of them, equally charming_. _Use your charm, use everything you learned from your aunt Barbrey and more.. and you will succeed._ "

Those were my father's words..

The moment he saw me, Ramsay laid his mischievous eyes on the dress I wore.. I noticed him standing on the other side of the doorstep.

If I had left that dim and smoky hall much earlier than I did, I think those eyes would never meet mine that day.. It looked to me like they were too busy imagining the skin under the dark red, almost black, fabric of my dress.

I moved slowly toward the hall and breathing slowly as well, I raised my voice a little bit more than usual (little tricks I learned from my aunt)

" _Father.. Ramsay_.."

The last thing I expected that morning, was a room full of people.. full of men.

" _Are we.. celebrating something_?" I asked father, who looked at me, his expression slightly surprised.

" _I don't know. Are we_?" he said in the same tone of voice he always liked to speak.. and I was a little bit confused for a moment, but quickly I realized.. he was referring to my dress.

" _Well.. I think I have many things to.. celebrate_. _For instance, I survived the attack.. that happened-_ " I said ".. _and_ _I've been promised to the future Lord Karstark.._ " I said, slowly turning my gaze to face Ramsay's.

Ramsay Snow already knew, I understood it from the uninterested facial expressions he gave me.

" _Here, sister.. take a seat_." he said, offering me his chair.

It was Domeric's chair.. It was Domeric's place once.. and now it's Ramsay's, I thought.

" _No, thank you.. I'll sit there_." I said, fixing my gaze on the empty place between my father and Locke.

" _As you wish_." Ramsay said somewhat coldly.

Did father tell him?

Of course he did, I thought. Only father and Anna could tell him and Anna runs away from him, every time she sees him.. So, it was my father, for sure.

But what does he think about this situation? I am going to live in Karhold now..

Oh Diana.. even you don't know what to think about that..

" _I'm also looking forward to your wedding. And we're all here grateful to the Gods, because of your.. recovery_." father said.

" _Be grateful to dogs_.." I said almost in a whisper and more to myself than to him.

" _Did.. you say something_?" father asked and I smiled.. " _Be grateful to the dogs.. They save me, not the Gods_." I said, this time louder, causing almost everyone in the hall to smile.

" _And to maester Tybald_.." Ramsay added, big smirk on his face " _He visited Diana many times while she slept. He helped her a lot.. Any kind of milk, he said. Poor old man.. Maybe.. Gods, Diana, maybe he gave you.._ _milk of the poppy_!" he said, his eyes widened with amusement.

Bastard..

" _I think I would know that_." I said and I saw that he opened his mouth to speak again, but- " _Ramsay_.." father said his name, clearly wanting to stop the fight, before it even started.

I smiled.. Lord Roose Bolton is probably the only person in this country, that Ramsay listens, I thought.

" _Well.. this is why I called you_. _It looks like I have to thank everyone, but you._ " father said, looking at the men sworn to defend his family.

I looked across the room, they were all sitting silently, and some of them with their heads down, listening to what my lord father had to say.

" _Our lives were in danger. My daughter's life, more than anyone's. She could have died, or worst_.." he said, and of course I knew what he thought by "worst".

I could have been raped, ashamed before my lord father, Lord Rickard Karstark and his son, my future husband, the entire North. My father would have been ashamed also if that happened.. and under his roof.

He prefers me dead, than dishonored, I thought.

A, proud lord.. A, proud fool..

" _If there wasn't for Ramsay.. I don't know, what could have happened_." father said, fixing his cold, pale eyes on his bastard " _Ramsay had suspected.. Ramsay was right. We had an enemy among us_." he said.

Ramsay's eyes narrowed and a smile of satisfaction spread across his face as he heard those words. He needed this, he needed father's recognition more than anything.

" _Ramsay did a good job_." I said, surprising the smiling bastard " _He released those hounds, who saved my life.. and HONOR._ " I said, looking at my father " _He deserves a reward_." I said.

" _And what do you suggest_?" father asked and I smirked " _New, bigger bedchambers, maybe.. He already got a chair.. Domeric's chair_.." I said and Ramsay's smile suddenly died. He recognized the cynicism in my words.

I started to miss my brother.. I started to miss Domeric. He was.. he was a good man and this place was his once.. He was a good person and he died because of that. I felt sorry for him..

And what this.. bastard.. Ramsay expected? What did he expect from me? To say " _Recognize him, father. He maybe poisoned Domeric, but_...".

" _He'll get the new chambers, than-_ "

" _I would like those next to Diana's_."

What?

Bastard!

 _You can't,_ my eyes were telling to my father, but he said _"Done. It would be too much for you to get Domeric_ _'s, anyway._ _"_

Shit..

" _And I'll be able to protect my sweet sister, myself.. She suffered enough, because of the incapacity of this.. men_." Ramsay said, giving me one of his best mocking smiles.

Look at him, look at that evil, smiling face..

If only I had the courage to tell father everything about Ramsay and me.. If only I could do that, I think I would be at least released from this strange.. desire..

But I couldn't.. It was embarrassing and pointless also. Father would keep Ramsay anyway.. he needed him, he needed son and Ramsay was perfectly aware of that.

And then.. suddenly..

" _Careful boy, you're still a bastard_." one deep voice said.

A, man in his thirties, stood up from his chair, saying " _We are all here sworn to House Bolton."_

Judging by his looks, he was a true representative of us, Northerners. Tall and muscular, with long dark hair and gray eyes, he looked fierce, but noble.

Looking at me, he bent his head in courtly manner " _Lady Bolton, you have to believe me, when I say that each and every one of my close friends, brothers.. men, sworn to this House, is ashamed for not being with you in.. probably the worst moments in your life. Forgive us, if you can._ " he said.

" _Ser Luke, your loyalty to my sister is.. nice, just like your loyalty to my brother Domeric was_." Ramsay said " _Sadly, Domeric died and you.. weren't there to save him_."

" _I thought he died from a sickness_.." Ser Luke said and for once, Ramsay was left speechless.

Maybe these are the loyalists, Locke was talking about, I thought and I looked at him.. I looked at Locke, who didn't even dare to meet my gaze. Too many eyes were watching.. It was dangerous.

" _Thank you, Ser.. Luke_." I said " _Thank you for your loyalty. I forgive you and I forgive every one of you-_ "

" _But I don't_." father suddenly said.

His face looked.. somewhat tense, pretty much unusual for him.. and the way he spoke was even more unusual.

" _Ser Luke.. please sit down_." father said and the proud knight silently obeyed " _My son.. my heir is.. dead and there's nothing we can do about it now. But my daughter is a living girl, promised to the heir of Karhold. Her betrothed, Harrion has already heard about what happened_."

" _He did_?" I asked in surprise and father nodded his head.

" _Harrion Karstark expressed his concern and fear for Diana's safety_." father said and I saw Ramsay rolling his eyes after those words " _He's very.. angry and disappointed, but certainly not more than me. Diana is my only daughter, she's too valuable to lose_. _We don't want this to happen again.. Not in Dreadfort, not in Karhold.. Never again. Do you understand?_ " he asked his men and they all answered as one " _Yes m'lord_."

Later that day father discussed the safety of the Dreadfort castle, with his best men, including Ser Luke Young, who made a certain impression on me... and while they talked about "men's stuff", I read my betrothed's letter.

Finally I felt like a true high born lady..

...

 _Lady Diana, words cannot express my anger._

 _I heard everything about what happened to you and in your home._

 _Something like that would never happened at Karhold, I assure you._

 _This is why I demanded from your father to bring you to Karhold as soon as possible._

 _I wrote three letters, one for you, one for Roose Bolton and one for his bastard._ _I heard things about him also and I have to say, that I wish I never heard them._ _My fear for your safety is now even bigger._

 _My lady, your beauty and your_ _elegance_ _made a strong impression on me._

 _I_ _have to admit that I do_ _think about you every day, more and more and I'm expecting you at Karhold soon._

 _Please write to me till then._

Harrion Karstark, the Heir of Karhold.

...

* * *

 **What a letter?** :D


	27. Chapter 27

I never really believed in marriage, the way some other noble girls wanted to believe. It is a political thing, I kept saying to myself.

Deep inside, I wanted to be loved and to.. love, someday, but somehow I always refused to have those big expectations.. I couldn't stand disappointments. I would rather choose to don't feel anything, than to feel my heart breaks..

But Harrion Karstark's letter.. touched me. His concern for me made me feel.. well, I can't say it made me feel safer, but at least I think I felt like, I could be happy with a man he seemed to be.

I knew I should make my future husband love me, or at least to respect me.. Everyone was telling me that, my mother, her septa, aunt Barbrey, every woman I knew in my life and my own mind also.. To make a man want me, to make him care about me, because men own the power.. and power is what I wanted and needed then.

Harrion Karstark was a man, in every sense of that word. He should be easy, I thought. Easier than the ones I grew up with.

Harrion..

I started to think about him, and even fantasy.. I hoped that he was better, better than them..

We spoke at that feast, but I couldn't tell what kind of a man he was, just based on the little of conversation we had there. Judging by his letter, he is dutiful and.. impulsive.

I'll have to calm his temper a little bit, when I become his wife, I thought.

I smiled.

How can someone calm a Northerner? How can someone calm a Karstark? They're like Starks, I thought.

They are, in fact, Starks. A, founder of their house was a Stark, I remembered that from the history lessons I got when I was a child.

Anyway, his temper won't help me, not against my half - brother.

Even though I admited to myself, that I always felt something for Ramsay, something I didn't want to feel, I knew that I had to remove him from any kind of power, if I want to inherit my father's castle and land.

Ramsay won't surrender without fight and if I have to fight Ramsay, I need to use the brain, more than the muscles, I thought.

Harrion said, that he wrote three letters - one for me, one for my father and one for Ramsay. Even in the letter he wrote for me, he seemed angry - " _words cannot express my anger_ " he said.

Gods.. What did he write to them? What did he write to Ramsay?

Father looked confused, worried, which is rare, very rare for him, and Ramsay looked.. like Ramsay, annoyed but still in his own, special mood.

But what did he like on me so much to be so concerned for me.. to be so concerned, to confront my father and even worse, his bastard. It can't be that he loves me, I thought. He barely knows me..

Maybe Harrion's not afraid for me, but for his honor, I thought. I heard that they, the Karstarks think a lot about their honor.

A, lady, a Bolton lady promised to the eldest son of Lord Rickard Karstark.. Everyone, the entire country knows that by now, but only Gods know what are those stories, that Harrion heard about my half - brother.

Willa's words were screaming in my head. She said, that people talk about Ramsay and me..

Ramsay visits me at night..

Ramsay helped me kill our father's pregnant mistress..

Ramsay conspires with me something against our father, the Lord of Dreadfort..

They gossip about us.. They talk, Gods, they talk! They know that there's something between us...

No, Diana! No! Only your aunt knows and she wouldn't tell anyone.. Your aunt and Anna.. and Willa.. and almost every fucking servant in Dreadfort!

Damn..

I put my hands on my head, because of the sudden pain I felt.. They told me that my forehead was bleeding, when they found me. Emma's father hit me hard when I tried to fight him.. He slapped me very hard.

" _There can be consequences_." maester Tybald said to my father and I decided, like always, to ignore his words.. But, Gods, my head hurts a lot, and I would accept any advice he has for me now, I thought.

" _Maester Tybald says you need leaching._ " Willa's words again found their place in.

Fuck, no!

I sat down, breathing deeply and slowly. I had to calm myself, I had to think clearly and quickly. I had to be more like my father..

" _Calm down.. Breath.._ "

If Harrion really heard something bad about you, he wouldn't send THIS letters. He'd send one letter, only one, in which he would inform your lord father, that he doesn't want to marry a wicked sinner like you, Diana!

One thing is sure, I thought. I can't leave Dreadfort, not before I do certain things, things someone should have done years ago.

Ramsay must go.

" _Diana_." suddenly I heard my father's voice.

He was standing in the doorway of his working chamber and several House Bolton men, including Ramsay, were standing behind him. They were still talking about my safety, or whatever they talked about, before father decided to call me inside.

" _I thought you were in your chambers_."

Somehow I thought the same thing. Ever since I finally came back from Barrowton, I spent most of the time in my part of the Dreadfort castle, "waiting" for someone from my terrible family to "treat me".

So, I almost forgot that I decided to wait for father, but this time in front of his chambers. I had to talk with him.. I had questions and I didn't have much time anymore, so it had to be then.

" _Come in. I wanted to talk with you,_ _anyway_." he said.

Gods be merciful..

Father looked at his men and soon they were all on their way out. " _You too_." he said to Ramsay, who obeyed, but with some, hesitation.

Ramsay turned to look at me, somewhat distrustfully and when father and I were finally left alone, he offered me a chair and said " _We should spend more time together_."

Yes.. we, should, I thought. We should, because we never did.

He sat down in front of me, his pale hands on the table between us, and his gaze fixed on my every movement.

" _So, tell me.. What did your future husband write to you?_ " father asked and I couldn't help but smile " _You cannot open the letter without breaking the_ _seal, you know...and_ _apparently_ _the seal was broken before I even knew about the letter.._ " I said " _It must be that my father was curious to know the thing he's for some reason asking me now_... _Maybe you don't know how else to start a conversation with me, so you ask stupid things.._ " I couldn't believe what I said to him.. I just called him stupid, indirectly I told him that he's stupid.. Gods!

I froze and stared at him, trying my best to don't look afraid. He hated cowards more than anything and I didn't want to anger him even more, than I maybe did.

" _I must admit.. The way you talk often amuses me_." he said, filling his cup with wine.

Amuses him? That actually amused him?

Oh..

Quickly I pulled myself together, going back to mu usual "provoking people is fun" attitude. He looked like he was in a better mood, than earlier that day and I decided that it was safe.. for now.

" _I thought you wanted to admit something else_.." I said, for some reason (for my personal fun probably) trying to mimic the way he gazed at me. I always found it fascinating.. the way he looked at people.

Father smirked, raising an eyebrow in amusement " _That I read your letter_?" he asked and I shook my head " _That you... find me smart_." I said.

He took a sip, fixing his cold gaze on me " _I do find you smart._ " he said.

I watched him drinking and suddenly I felt the need of doing the same.

" _Harrion likes you. He liked you the moment he saw you. It must be flattering_."

Flattering..

 _"Well.. you read it. I made a strong impression on him._ " I said, my hands reaching for an empty glass before me, and my sea - blue eyes demanding from his ice - cold ones some red wine too.

" _I don't like when you drink, but.. I guess you deserve a reward._ " father said, filling my cup, and than his again " _I wanted you to.. seduce that Karstark boy, the way you obviously did and the best thing about it, is that I didn't even have to tell you that. Your aunt taught you well_."

" _Speaking of which... I sent her a letter.. letters actually, but she never answered them. Since you are the one who controls every raven that comes and goes, I wanted to ask you, what.. is going on_?"

Lord Bolton put down his cup, his lips smiling widely, but his eyes being almost without emotion " _What makes you think, I control the birds_?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes " _Not the birds, RAVENS._." I said " _I know what I'm saying, father.. I know that you read every letter, so stop.. mocking me!"_

 _"Are you sure in that?"_

 _"Sure in WHAT?"_

 _"That I read every letter.."_

"Y _ou.. Yule this place-_ "

" _Rule?_ D _o you really believe a ruler has everything under his_ _control_.. _and always?_ "

I nodded my head, even if I actually thought different.

No one can control everything, everyone can make a mistake, but my father made too many! I wanted to tell him, somehow, that I blame him for the bad things that happened and that are happening without him knowing it. I wanted to blame him more than anyone and anything, I wanted that so badly..

Yes father, you should know everything. You rule this place!

 _"I thought that too, but than my son, my only heir died.. and I realised how wrong I was._ "

No, Diana, don't let him fool you again.. He can't feel, he doesn't feel.. Leaches sucked all the emotions out of him, so that he can't feel anything!

He lies..

Lies, lies, only lies.. Don't feel sorry for him, hate him!

Hate him..

He cleared his throat and fixed his eyes on my face again " _I don't have to remind you how important our alliance with the Karstarks is.. Right, Diana_?" he said, suddenly changing the subject.

" _I understand its importance, better than you think_." I said, almost angrily.

" _Good_ -" he said " _it is good that_ _you understand the importance of your duties.. I think-_ " I stopped listening him there... I didn't even look at him.. I could only think about my aunt Barbrey.. This is why I came to him at first place.

Just like his alliances were important for him, mine were important to me. I couldn't imagine a better ally than Barbrey Dustin, at the moment.

" _You didn't answer me about my aun_ t." I said, somehow trying to control my anger.

She didn't abounded me.. She wouldn't do that. Something happened..

" _I promise I'll take care of that_." he said " _Now let's talk about the Karstarks. You made an interesting comment and I know that something is hiding there. So speak_."

I sighed, slightly letting my guard down, much to my own surprise and disappointment, and than I said " _Winter is coming.. It is good to have such a strong house as ally, I understand that._ " than I told him something I thought I wasn't ready to tell, but I had to.. I just had to " _Karstarks are.. important, but_ a _nyone else would choose Starks instead of them. House Stark is the ruling house in the North, but you decided that Karstarks are better for us, and I think I know the reason._ "

Father raised his eyebrows, grinning slightly " _Do explain_." he almost hissed it.

I felt my body shaking a little bit, obviously feeling the well known coldness in his voice and those strange eyes, I refused to meet.

" _Diana_?"

Fine, fine.. I'll do it. It doesn't even matter anymore.. and maybe I'll impress him, who knows..

" _My brother Domeric is dead and you have no other son, legitimized son to continue your.. name. You have now only me, a true born daughter and Ramsay, a bastard son. The situation changed and so did your plans._ _We both know Ramsay.. the entire North would hate such a lord. They hate us already, and with Ramsay they will hate us even more.. Starks mostly **if someone tells them**. I could be your heir, __but you do not.. see me as your heir._ _A, Stark... Robb Stark could convince you, FORCE you to give **me** the Dreadfort_..." I said, my voice starting to shake even more than my body " _The Karstarks are important, and strong, but they don't have power over you.. You are stronger, our house is stronger, but still in.. problems.. and so, Harrion Karstark is a better choice in a situation that your house is now. He's going to fall under my influence, but unlike Robb, he is not a threat. The future Lord of Karhold under my influence, and I under yours, will only_ _benefit you. We_ _are your perfect allies_. _This is how you think_.."

I still refused to look at him, but still I could feel his eyes rested long upon my, now paler than ever, face.

" _Even Ramsay is a better heir than me.. Even that.. sick.. sadist.. and only because HE IS a man._."

It was too soon, too soon for my next words, my mind was yelling at me, but my heart didn't listen. My heart spoke instead of me, instead of my mind.. I just couldn't stop it.

" _Tell me father, do you even care for.. for my life? Do you care for me? Do you.. love.. me? Did you love anyone in your life EVER_?"

He said nothing.. He just stared..

" _Father_!"

Roose Bolton got up from his chair and approached the window, still refusing to answer any of my questions.

As I watched him looking at something (or nothing) through that window, I sank low in my chair, biting my lower lip.. I wasn't afraid anymore, I told him everything.. well almost everything, everything I ever wanted. I was not afraid, but I was nervous and more than nervous.

I never spoke to him like this before, I always acted like I don't care for him, for my position in my family, for my brother, for politics and all those things I was afraid to ask him about.

" _Diana_.." he finally started, his voice softer than usual ".. _you_ _are my daughter, my blood_. _You are.. a Bolton_." he said

Yeah, right.. I heard that speech before, I thought and I shook my head, already feeling pessimistic. He will never be honest with me.. He will never open up like other people do.. Is he a human, anyway?

But he turned to look at me again, his eyes looking somewhat.. sad?

Could it be..?

No.. No.

" _You'll change your last name, one day.. That is how the world works for you.. girls. But you ARE my blood and I need you to remember that_.. _always._ "

Yes.. because this alliance with the Karstarks is important to you, I KNOW.

Again he sat down, but this time in the chair next to me, looking deeply into my already watery eyes " _Sometimes, when I look at you, I see my younger self. I was similar to you, at your age, I had so many questions and doubts. You are more like me, than Domeric ever was.. than Ramsay will ever be. I look at you and I wish the world is different_." he said " _But.. I have to be realistic and you as well. Daughters, women.. can't be heirs. Women GIVE us the heirs.. sons_ -"

" _I'll have many sons._ "I said, my voice revealing the pain I desperately tried to hide " _I.. I'll have many sons with Harrion and one of them, at least one of them will be your perfect heir.. I promise! Karstarks were Starks once, they can be Boltons too.. Just please-"_ I grabbed one of his arms and with my eyes of a beggar I finally said " _don't legitimize, don't recognize Ramsay.. Take my son instead_!"

I couldn't believe what came out of my mouth.. I was convincing my father to adopt my son, son I didn't even have yet.. I was ready to give away one of my children one day... and to _him_...

" _You hate Ramsay that much_?" he asked me, his voice sounded cold again.

" _Yes_." I said, even though I knew it was a lie. I didn't hate Ramsay at that point.. But I did want him out of my life.

I was afraid of Ramsay's power over me.. He made me tremble, he made me shiver. He exited me and I desired him for that. I didn't hate him and I decided that I didn't even love him. It was just a desire, passion and.. I hoped, I prayed to the Old Gods that Harrion Karstark will change that someday.

Once I become his wife, I will forget Ramsay, I hoped.

" _I always thought that you were closer to Ramsay, than to Domeric."_ faher said _"Sure, you did not see each other for years, but still.. you have.. the past together_."

I felt my heart twitch, and my cheeks getting red " _Past_?" I asked.

" _You were close_."

" _No, not really_.."

Father smirked " _You were running after that bastard and following his every action, since I brought him to Dreadfort, Diana. You think I did not notice? Your brother, Domeric often felt lonely and angry, because of that. Since Ramsay came to live with us, Domeric stopped to exist for you_ -"

" _He was boring_! _And I did call him many times to play with us, but he liked more to be with his high harp_." I sounded like an angry child " _Domeric was different.. I am more_ -"

" _Bolton_."

Bolton.. More.. Bolton? More Bolton? He thinks that...he really thinks that? He saw that too?

" _Father, I_.. _I just wanted to make you proud_.."

People somehow always wanted to believe that I'm more Ryswell than Bolton.. They hoped for that.

Well, I did look like my mother, I still do.. Like my mother and a little bit like my aunt. My kind Ryswell face convinced many of those and other people to trust me more than they should. But Ramsay was the first to see and recognize the Bolton girl hiding behind all those Ryswell physical characteristics.

And now.. my father.. " _You made me proud.. many times_." he said

I smiled widely, looking at this strange Northern lord as he was some kind of a God, for me.

" _But_ -" my smiled died again, as I remembered my childhood.. again " _it was always Domeric_ -"

" _You were always jealous on your brother_." father said and I looked at him in surprise and once again in somewhat anger. He really knows how to destroy everything, I thought " _I loved my brother_!" I said and I ground my teeth against my desire to tell him to FUCK OFF!

I never cursed in front of him and I never will..

" _You envied him, but unlike Ramsay, you didn't hate him. I know that you.. cared_." he said.

He's a stranger, I realised. My father is a stranger for me, and for this world..

I know nothing about Roose Bolton. He looks like a big.. rock.. strong, cold and distant, gray and without emotions. Everything he says, he makes it sound like something.. insincere or political, I thought.

" _Ramsay hates ME also. I am not safe with him being around_." I wanted him to start to believe in that or at least to think about that. It was part of my plan..

Father nodded his head like if he understood my concern " _You are safe as long as I protect you. I already made one mistake, I won't make another._ "

I wasn't sure did he think about the attack that happened when Emma's father tried to rape me and burn us all, or about Domeric's suspicious death..

Either way it didn't matter. I strongly believed that I had my loyalists in Dreadfort and I decided even before I saw that knight, Ser.. Luke, for the first time, that I will find them and talk to them.

" _And I promise you that I will consider your.. option."_ he said and I blinked several times in disbelief. This was more than I hoped.

" _You just have to stop thinking about that. You have more important things to think about. Thinking about Dreadfort's future is my job.. and besides I'm not planning to die soon_."

But YOU WILL die one day and I have to be ready, I thought.

My mother died,

Domeric died,

everyone will die one day..

I put my best innocent face and I said " _Promise me, father. Promise me that I won't die like Domeric!_ "

I just knew what to say.. I just knew..

I will use them..

I will use everything I have **-** my brother's death, my bethroed's short temper, my half - brother's craziness and Ser Luke's disgust for him.. I am going to use all of that and against my lord father.

" _I promise_.."

* * *

 **In the next chapter I will start with Diana's plan.. You remember that she said (to her dog lol), that she will do something spectacular.. and so she will ^_^**

 **Diana will pull everyone she can in her own personal chaos..**


	28. Chapter 28

Later that day, I was walking through the gardens for hours, just thinking about my father and the conversation we had, when someone suddenly grabbed me by my arm and swung me around..

" _What did you tell him, BITCH_?"

Ramsay..

One look at his angry, cruel face and my entire world fell apart.. again.

" _What did you tell him_?" he repeated his question, this time without the "bitch" part, but still angrily, still furiously.. and I tried to say something, something in my defence, but I just couldn't find the right words. He caught me off my guard!

Immediately, I regretted refusing Ser Luke's offer to escort me to my chambers. He was very kind.. Ser Luke.

But Ramsay...

" _Speak_!" he hissed, his pale eyes glittered with anger.

I looked around.. there was no one to help. That garden was probably the loneliest, the most abandoned place I knew for...and I loved it for it! This was one of the rare places in Dreadfort where I thought I could find some peace.. It was clear to me then, that with Ramsay there was never a real peace.. not even a little bit...

Peace, safety.. No matter what my father says it's impossible, impossible while Ramsay is here, I thought.

We were alone..

Once again, we were alone..

I took a deep breath and I tried to pull my arm away, but he stopped me, digging his fingernails into my skin " _You're hurting me_!" I yelled, but he just kept doing those things with my arm, smiling at me viciously.

" _Ramsay stop! I_ _don't know what you're talking about, y_ _ou're hurting me_.." I screamed in pain, but once again a strangely warm smile crossed his pale face, and he grabbed my free arm also " _Oh yes.. I'm going to hurt you, you little_ _liar_!"

We stood there, staring at each other and surprisingly or not, his hands left my arms for a moment, but just when I tried to pull myself together, he placed them on my arms again and ran them up to my shoulders " _Bitch_.." he whispered and grabbed my throat with his both hands, like he was trying to strangle me. I struggled to breathe because of how tightly he held my neck..

" _Ram- Ramsay, ple- please_.."

Than he pushed me against the cold, stone wall behind me, his eyes burned into mine, and even though it was more than intense, somehow, I managed to hold his gaze.

My father's promise was my motivation.

He can't hurt me, he can't...

I'm Roose Bolton's daughter! I am a Bolton!

" _This garden is.. too close to my bedchamber, Diana.. Too close for you to be here.. Maybe you wanted to visit me_?"

" _N-no_."

" _No_?"

He slapped me..

He slapped me and I groaned in pain and almost began to cry..

" _Liar_.." he said " _Liar_!" he yelled at me.

I didn't understand how did I provoke this sudden violence. What is he talking about? What did I tell? And to who? To father, maybe?

" _You're playing with fire, Diana_. _You're playing with fire_!"

As he spoke and spoke and spoke, the anger grew inside me like a powerful wave of disgust and disappointment.. disappointment in me, in myself. He couldn't disappoint me more than he already did.. It was me, it was all about me.. I was angry on myself! How can I tolerate this.. behaviour? How?

He slapped my cheek again, when I refused to answer one of his questions that I didn't even hear. And it was harder than before.

But I didn't make a sound this time. I saw it in his eyes, I saw his intention..

I AM A BOLTON! I AM NOT AFRAID!

" _You... bastard. Who do you think you are_?" I said through my teeth and the sudden confusion on my half - brother's face was priceless.

He looked at me in surprise..

He looked at me with ... with admiration?

But quickly, Ramsay got back to his usual boldness. He pushed himself closer to me, breathing on my face and he slipped one of his hands down to my tights " _I like when you're wild_.." he said " _That reminds me of whose blood runs through your veins_." he whispered in my ear, his other hand still around my neck.

" _Leave me. Let me go.._ " I said " _Let me go, or you'll regret._ "

But like always, Ramsay didn't mind my warnings. He just smirked and pushed his hand under my red dress, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

I shook my head a little shocked " _What are you doing? Stop_! _Ramsay, someone will see..."_

Ramsay just.. didn't listen..

Than I tried to push him, kick him, even bite him, but he was stronger..

"Y _ou just know how to change my mind_." he said " _I wanted to punish you, hurt you.. but instead of useless fighting, I'm going to enjoy your.. other weaknesses, sister._ _And no matter what you say, this will hardly be the punishment for you, believe me._ "

Suddenly I felt his fingers brush between my legs, rubbing against my thighs.. and I gasped as he lifted me, his other hand sliding rapidly down my hip.

He said he won't touch me down there.. He said it wasn't _his_ to touch.. But now, Ramsay's acting like I belong to him, I thought.

" _Do you want to feel him_?" he asked and before I could say anything, Ramsay took my left hand and placed it on his... cock.

The feeling of his.. manhood under my fingers was.. strange. Never before I did something like that. I never saw it, touched it.. I heard other women talk about it, about men's.. thing, but it was different than I imagined, it was.. strange.

And now I was rubbing it, stroking it.. Everything on his demand, of course...

" _Easy, girl_.." he said smiling " _We don't want to.. ruin your reputation_. _Let me do all job, today.._."

He kissed my lips passionately and than he continued to rub his fingers up and down on my already wet and demanding.. cunt, never turning his hungry gaze from my eyes.

I hated him then.. I hated his power over me!

He kissed my neck, bit my shoulder and I hugged him as I felt a strange, strong sensation running through my body... I wrapped my legs around his hips, and my hands around his shoulders, digging my face into his back.. and moans of complete pleasure escaped me as he whispered my name " _Diana_.."

The feeling of his touch was just.. great, and I couldn't help but enjoy it.. I couldn't help but enjoy it like anyone on my place would..

For a moment I forgot about Ramsay, I forgot who he was. All that I wanted was _him_ inside _me_..

But it was impossible..

" _You told father. You told him something_.." he whispered " _He was angry,_ _disappointed_ _.. Do you even know how.. **hard** it was for me to listen him, to listen his insults_?" he asked me, still holding me in his arms.

" _You.. You deserve it.. You deserve even... even.. worse_!"

" _Oh.. Diana_.." he groaned and once again placed his fingers between my legs (the type of teasing, that I began to "hate" the most) " _Look how wet you are, wet for **me**.. but still you're fighting." _ he said _"What do you fight for, sister_? _Power_?" he asked, arching his eyebrow, but he didn't wait for my answer. Instead he pressed his hard lips on mine and after what seemed like a century, he pulled away and said " _You were never his heir.. I was never his heir.. It was always Domeric, and after him.. who knows. We are same, you and I.."_

Same?

No...

" _We are not.. the same_!" I said and I pushed him from me. It had to be over.. DONE.

Calm down, Diana..

Calm.. down now..

 _"You're such a.. bitch.. highborn bitch!"_ he said angrily _"You want me, need me, but you don't want to admit it.. Instead you're insulting me. You're afraid of me and the way I make you feel."_ he said.

No, Diana.. No... Ignore him.. This will be all over soon..

Ignore him!

 _"You can't resist me.."_ he said and through a quite ridiculous and somewhat hysterical laugh he said _: "You think you're so noble... perfect... but you're not better than.. Violet or Myranda_.. _"_

Myranda?

Oh no, you can't!

 _"You are a bastard_! _What can you possibly know about noble ladies? I am a lady,_ _Lord Bolton's only living trueborn_! _You KILLED his other trueborn, his son, MY BROTHER_! _You will never be as good as Domeric was.. You are a bastard, dirty lowborn, murderer and whore lover_! _I don't care for what you think about me.. You will leave this place soon, anyway_.."

Damn..

This is it.. He's going to kill me now.. He's going to strangle me with his bare hands, I thought.

Ramsay grabbed my arm, pulling me into his.. really possesive, uncormfoble and.. hurtful hug.

" _Shhhh, little Dia, calm down.. calm down_." he spoke, while stroking my dark, wavy hair with his long, cold fingers " _You can continue to fool yourself, or you can accept the reality_." he said, and he kissed the top of my head, gently.. very gently. He held me close to him.. so close and as he spoke, his touch was surprisingly becoming more and more.. comfromble.

He's up to something, I thought. Something.. mean.

" _Father will never name you his heir.."_ he said _"You are a.. WOMAN_." he yelled the last word and I jumped in shock. The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice was terrifying. You never know with him.. You never know..

Ramsay let me escape his hug..

" _And... you think.. he.. he'll name you_?" I asked, surprising myself with my courage.

Ramsay smirked, like if he could read my mind " _I do not know_. _That's why I said_ " _who knows_ ". _But maybe.. maybe **you** can help me with that.._ " he said smiling.

" _Never_! _I am not the girl you knew_."

Fuck..

Diana, why can't you shut your mouth? You'll ruin your plan! You'll ruin everything!

He stepped toward me, never turning his gaze away from my eyes, and gently he brushed my hair out of my face.

I didn't move..

I didn't breath..

I didn't make a sound.

" _I am the most logical choice and you know that.."_ he said somewhat nervously _"Winter is coming, like Starks say, and who knows what can happen then. It's going to be a long winter, my lady.. Better stick to your Karstark husband_ -"

" _You better stick to your whores_!" I yelled and took a quick step away from him.. away from his touch.

Idiot..

" _Dia.."_

GODS!

" _Don't call me like that_! _And don't you dare to talk to me like that.. never again_! _I am a Bolton, not you, bastard! Stick to your bitches and leave politics to a trueborn-"_

 _"Politics are not for.. women_!"

" _And women are not for ignorant, sick, bastards like you_!"

He angered me...

He angered me a lot!

The vicious bastard grabbed my arm again and pulled me back to him. It surprised him that I didn't even blink.

You can't hurt me..

You can't kill me, not even fuck me..

You are nothing!

" _Diana.. don't tempt me_."

" _Or what? You are hopeless, Ramsay.. you can't_ _silent me, you can't_ _stop me.. Father needs_ _me, he will protect me_ -"

" _For now_! _Father won't be able to protect you when I come to power_ -"

" _This is why you'll never come to power, Ramsay_.." I said " _You think I'm stupid? You think father is stupid? You present the danger for both of us. We know how.. sick and_ _unstable_ _you are. We saw it, we know.. I know! So, tell me, what can we_ _possibly get_ _with your legitimation? You don_ _'t know?_ _I'll tell you what - You'll become even more dangerous, and than no one will be able to stop you easly. You have no conscience, brother, and you cannot be trusted. If you become the Lord of the Dreadfort one day, I will become your pet.. everyone will. You have.. our blood... You have our brain, I give you that. But you're a bastard too, and you killed a trueborn, a BOLTON trueborn_! _Something is wrong with you.. too wrong and I can't accept that.. I disagree with you in many things and I insulted you many times and you're not a man who easily forgets-_ "

" _I will forget.. I will forgive if_ -"

" _But I_ w _on't_! _I won't forget and I won't forgive... It is stronger than me. Father said that I have.. blood, blood of the Red Kings running through me. I am my father's daughter, I have my Bolton pride.. It is something in my.. in my blood. We are not equal. I am a noble girl.. I was born in Dreadfort, I was rased to be important. You may have our blood too, but you're a mistake, Ramsay.. my father's mistake. Never forget that!"_

I don't know what happened.. I just didn't sound like myself..

More and more I was begining to sound like those arrogant, highborn fools, I used to hate. I reminded myself on Theon Greyjoy, the cocky ironborn, I met at Winterfell's feast... but that wasn't the worst part _"My mother was a lady, yours was some whore._ "

With those words I have doomed myself, forever... I just didn't know that yet..

" _Shut your mouth Diana Bolton_!" Ramsay yelled at me " _Shut your pretty mouth, or I'll cut them off_." he said.

I smiled..

I laughed!

" _But you_ _can't.. You are nothing.. no one_!"

Ramsay insulted me few more times and I did the same thing to him, until we both got tired from our fight and until we both decided that it was enough for one day. He left first, not turning back, and not so long after I went to my chambers only to collapse in the armchair by the window.

I took my dog, the dog _he_ gave me, in my arms and I sat there silently possible for.. at least one hour..

But the blood - red sky above the Northern land darkened and I didn't want to waste any more time...

" _Can I trust you Willa_?" I suddenly decided to ask my, clearly confused handmaiden.

I decided to take Willa in my service. The girl was.. braver, more bold than Anna and she seemed loyal. I had two serving girls now.. One of them was a smart coward and the other one was not really inteligent, but certainly braver.. coward.

It was never a secret, that I had a.. aaa not the best opinion on my maids.

" _Why yes m'lady, o_ _f course you can trust me_!"

" _Good, cause I don't want to.. chop your head off and feed it to my dog._ " I said and I gave her one of those glares, that my father liked to give to his.. subjects.

Once she saw it for a moment, the black - haired girl looked away and didn't dare to meet my gaze again.

Not bad, I thought. Anna would cry...

" _Find Locke and bring him to my chambers_." I said, and the girl obeyed without a question.

Anna would ask why..

She would even protest! _A, man! A, man, a hunter.. in my lady's chambers!_

This one is better.. This one I'll keep close, I thought.

" _What do you think, Lucky? Maybe we should send Anna to work in the kitchen_."

Lucky..

I haven't told Ramsay yet how I named our puppy.

" _Well, he didn't ask me_..."

I smiled..

Lucky? Seriously? Ramsay would laugh.. He would burst into tears.. if he had them.

I stood up from my chair and I went to the mirror trying to make myself more.. presentable. The marks of Ramsay's touches.. of our little fight, were still visible. " _Oh, look.. he bit me there_.." I said to myself, pointing with my finger on the red spot on my neck.

After a while I heard three knocks on the door..

" _Come in_."


	29. Chapter 29

The black - haired and bearded House Bolton man entered the room, looking slightly confused. " _M'lady_ -" he began " _you.. you called for me_." he said.

" _Yes, Locke_." I said, determined to get to the point immediately, because I had no more time to waste. " _You said I have loyalists here. You said that.. there are men who want to help me, to protect me. You said, they will find me.. and talk to me, I guess? They.. they should be helping me by now.."_

The fierce hunter raised his eyebrows at me in somewhat surprise _"Yes, I said that, but I also said that I.. don_ _'t want to take a part in it-_ "

" _I know, Locke_!" I stopped him, annoyed with him for repeating that once again. It disappointed me enough the first time, he didn't have to say it again " _I know what you said. I think about your words, every single night-_ "

" _Than, I don't know what you want me to tell you, m'lady_." he said. He was somewhat calm, but still confused, probably because it was pretty late and he was in Lady Bolton's bedchamber.. He wasn't even in my service, he was my father's man, the hunter.. a trusted hunter and very dangerous one. Locke.. didn't hunt animals, but people, I knew that. I was perfectly aware of who he was, but still, I felt no fear.. not even a little bit.

He wasn't supposed to serve a lady, but than again, I wasn't asking that from him. All I needed was a little favor.

 _"Well.. I'm becoming impatient, Locke._ " I said somehow angrily and I crossed my arms over my chest, looking straight in this dangerous man's sharp eyes " _Where are they_?" I asked " _The loyalists. Where are they_?"

It took him a few minutes to answer me, but than he finally said: " _Your loyalists are now closer than you think_."

Oh..

They are close..

Fine, than, I guess..

BUT, GODS, WHY AM I SO EXITED?

" _G-Good_." I said and I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself and ask him another, very important question " _Is.. Is Ser Luke one of them_?" I asked quietly, like I was afraid of someone hearing me.

" _Yes, he is_." the hunter simply replied.

I knew it...

I knew it!

Ser Luke Young seemed like **that** kind of a person. I liked him, the moment I saw him.. well, the moment I "heard him", to be more precise. I liked the way he confronted Ramsay that day, I liked the way he spoke to me.. This is how I imagined my loyalists, my men! Loyal, honorable, but also fierce..

Well, I idolized him, I guess. I desperately needed someone with all those characteristics I wanted him, THEM, to have.

" _I.. I have to talk to him_." I said " _You will arrange our meeting.. Yes. You'll do that. I don't want anyone to know, except you, me and Ser Young_."

Locke looked at me like he was, I cannot say surprised, but maybe like he knew that this will happen, but really didn't want to do it " _M'lady I already told you_ -"

" _YOU WILL HELP ME WITH THIS, LOCKE.. otherwise I will tell my father everything._ "

He was shocked, but I was... amused?

" _I'll tell my father everything.. I'll tell him, how you gave me that paper, how we talked at that crypt.. I'll tell him that you want be to become the USURPER_."

" _That's a lie.. the, the last thing.._ "

I narrowed my eyes, amused by how nervous he looked " _You think he'll believe you more than me, Locke_?"

He said nothing.. he just looked away, unable to hold my gaze, unable to bear my words.

I got you!

I fucking got you!

" _Look... Locke.. I could now.. just tell Roose Bolton that you tried to convince me, make me betray him. There are_ _guards in front of my chambers, they saw you coming in._ _They don_ _'t know what we are talking about, but they saw you coming to me, to my bedchamber.._ _They can be my witnesses, but I don_ _'t even need witnesses.. Not because my lord father trusts me that much, no._ " I smiled " _..but because he's not a man, who **takes risks,** and you know that. But now when I think about it - __My father trusts no one, but this..._ _confession, this brave and honorable move is the closest I, or anyone, will ever come to his trust._ " I said and I noticed that look in his eyes, the look that was saying "you're fucking right".

" _I know what I'm capable of, Locke._ " I continued " _I could get Roose Bolton's trust, **I** , more than anyone in this world... and than someday in the future inherit his castle and land, on one way or another. __That can be even easier, now when I think about it._ _"_

" _No, wait_." I suddenly heard him saying " _I'll arrange the damn thing_." he said and I, kind of, smirked at that. Locke definitely regretted having anything to do with me, I thought.

I'm good..

Oh I'm so fucking good, I thought.

Smiling, no not smiling.. GIGGLING, I sat in one of the chairs that were there, and taking my funny named dog in my arms, I whispered " _Everything goes according to plan, Lucky_."

Everything goes according to plan.. Everything.

" _Excellent_." than I said, and sinking into my huge leather chair, I motioned for Locke to sit down in the one that was in front of him " _I promise I'll set you free after this_.. _._ " I said smiling " _Now, let's talk about.. the secret meeting, right?_ "

I was so excited, that I wanted to meet my loyalists the same night, but Locke suggested the day after and I kind of agree, when I realized how late it was.

" _Tomorrow than_." I bit my lip, and whispered to myself, as he was leaving.

The only thing I was afraid of, was Ramsay moving into his new bedchamber.. that were next to mine. I still couldn't believe how my father allowed that, but than again, I was the one who suggested him that kind of a reward.

Now he'll be much closer to me, than before, I thought. And I was certain that he'll be more present in my everyday life, than before. That bastard will follow my every move now and that definitely makes things more complicated for me and for Locke also. We have to be careful, very careful, I thought.

I dreamed about Domeric that night...

Well, I dreamed about.. lot of things, but the image of my dead brother affected me the most.. That, and the dragon who came later.

I was dressed all in black and, Domeric all in white.. We were in some kind of Godswood, and Domeric stood before the heart tree, his dark hair, longer than I remember, waving in the cold Northern wind. He was watching the tree and I felt the Old Gods watching me, with their thousand scary eyes.

" _Domeric_.." I called him, but he didn't reply " _Domeric_!" I called his name again, this time louder, but.. nothing.

I knew it was him. Even though I didn't see his face, I just knew..

I approached him and suddenly I hugged him from behind, gently caressing his body.

" _Brother_." I whispered " _Look at me_!" I cried out, but still.. nothing.

Than the snow started falling, and I felt him taking one of my hands in his. I slightly flinched when his cold fingers touched my skin.

" _Brothe_ r." I called him somehow sadly, and he turned to look at me, his eyes warm and smiling, as I remember them to be.

I cried..

I cried so much, when he looked at me..

I cried so much when he took my face in his hands, saying " _I've waited so long. Finally.. you are here_."

" _Where are we, Domeric_? _What is happening_? _Is.. mother here_? _Did.. Did Ramsay.. kill you_?"

I had so many questions for him.. So many questions...

Domeric looked at me, as I was a confused little child for him, and than he said, gently like he always spoke to me " _You have to avenge me, Diana. Avenge me_.." he pulled me into a hug " _I'm so sad, sister.. So alone_." he whispered in my hair.

I hugged him back, my head nestled against his chest, my tears dropping on his chest " _I_.." _I will_ , I wanted to say, but than, something.. happened.

Instead of snow... blood... drops of blood, were falling from the sky. And than, fire... DRAGON! Large, black dragon flying over us, burning the Godswood down, burning the heart tree..

Domeric suddenly disappeared... and I was alone..

I heard some people.. I heard people screaming..

And than I saw banners, many different banners rising from the smoke, banners I didn't recognize..

Fire, smoke, blood... and.. Anna...

Anna?

" _M'lady.. Oh thank Gods, you're awake_!"

What the...? What is she doing here? I was asking myself.

But than I noticed that little Lucky was barking and trying so hard to get into my bed... I wasn't in the Godswood anymore, I was in my chambers.

I'm in my bedchamber, I'm in Dreadfort, I realized.

What am I doing here? Where is Domeric? And that.. Dragon? I suddenly looked up, but when I looked at Anna again I noticed the concerned, but also somewhat amused look on her face.

" _What happened_? _What are you doing here_?" I asked her.

" _M-M'lady... You.. You've been screaming.. crying and.. and we were afraid for you, so guards.. slammed the door.. You.. locked yourself.. and we didn't know it was... just a dream, a very bad dream, I would say_."

WHAT?

But.. it seemed so real...

Really, Diana? It seemed real? Dragons, blood falling from the sky on you and... Domeric..

Oh, Gods..

I looked around and I noticed so many faces.. Anna, my guards... Willa and even... Maester Tybald.

No, not him... Ohhhh

" _What... are you doing here_?" I asked the red - haired man, his obvious annoyance giving me a sense of.. some kind of pleasure.

That's right.. You're not welcome, YOU DAMN GRAY RAT. As soon as you realize that, better for you.. and me.

" _M'lady, you're obviously not feeling well. Let me help you_." he said.

" _No_."

" _M'lady_ -"

" _I SAID NO._ "

" _I promise, you won't see me again, but-_ " he spoke, somewhat desperately "..l _et me help you now, and you won't need my service again_." he said.

I must admit... he was beginning to sound... convincing.

" _M'lady, please.. You've been having this same problem, sleeping problem, for three nights now_." he said " _Screaming, yelling, crying.. it's frightening, to be honest-_ "

" _I don't care if it's frightening_. _I don't need your help, rat_." I mumbled the last word, realizing in the middle of my saying, that I.. don't really want to offend him that much.

" _Your lord father ordered me to help you_." he said almost coldly, almost angrily and I smirked " _My father_?" I asked.

" _Yes m'lady, your.. father_." he said " _Lord Bolton heard you once, twice actually. He told me to do anything I can_ -"

" _So you proposed him leaching_?" I asked, my eyes narrowed.

He said nothing.. No one dared to say anything..

Leeches.. Leaching, was a public secret in Dreadfort.. in the entire North, actually. Everyone knew that my father used leeches to "purge himself of bad blood", but no one ever dared to speak, to gossip about it.

He was a strange man.. my father. Not many people saw him doing something cruel, but he seemed like someone who can be cruel and in so many ways.. His eyes held so many secrets, his words cut deep and his actions were everything, but predictable.

Roose Bolton was out of this world..

No one wanted to see him being cruel or to feel his cruelty.. and I thought I could explain why. People feared his tactical, calculating mind. They saw him as a man without any emotion, without compassion and they blamed leeches for that. They knew him, even less than I did, and it frightened them.

I looked around the room... I looked at the guardsmen and they all refused to meet my eyes. I looked at Willa, who stood by the window. She was also, trying to ignore me.

I didn't even try to look at Anna.. I already knew.

It was then, when I looked at maester Tybald and for the first time ever, I allowed myself to like something about him, something about.. maester.

He looked straight into my eyes..

" _Everyone except maester Tybald, leave the room_."

They all looked at me and than at each other in confusion, but when I repeated my order they decided that they didn't want to hear it for the third time.

" _You can help me_?" I asked him, when we were left alone.

He nodded his head.

" _Explain to me how_." I said, hoping that it had nothing to do with leeches, hoping that I was wrong.

I was disgusted by them..

Since I saw my father.. covered with those.. things.. animals, I just.. couldn't get it out of my head. It looked so.. disgusting. They.. sucking his blood, growing on his skin.

" _The treatment your father is_ -"

" _Oh no_."

" _M'lady_ -"

" _Maester Tybald! I don't want those.. leeches to drink my blood. I don't care if my blood is bad, or not, I don't want_ -"

" _Fine, fine_." he stopped me " _I'll give you something else, but it's not effective as the treatment your father is practising for years now_." he said, reaching into his bag and taking out a very small bottle of something that was blue.

" _What is that_?" I asked and I quickly got up from my bed, approaching the maester.

" _I didn't name it yet, but I used it on myself already. I, also, have some troubles with sleeping_." he said " _As you can see, Lady Bolton, we are not much different_." he said smiling.

I took the bottle from his hands, looking at it curiously " _You're not planning to poison me, aren't you_?" I asked.

" _I'm planning to help you, m'lady. To help you, to serve you_ -"

" _Yes, yes_.." I said, feeling irritated by his presence.. again.

Maester Tybald smiled " _Two drops a day_." he said, and I nodded " _But.. why_? _Why only two_?" I suddenly asked.

" _Overdose can kill you, m_ _'lady. You need to be very careful._ " he answered.

Overdose can kill?

" _Oh.. I'll remember that_." I said and maester Tybald smiled. What he didn't know then is that, his cure in my hands.. can only be a poison.. a WEAPON.

* * *

 **Thanks for the reviews! :) I hope you liked this chapter.**

 **Also... I know that my story is maybe slow, but trust me it is** **only for now** **, because, let's just say, my OFC is going to travel a lot, and meet many people, do many things and very soon her story will have to catch up to the events from GOT season 1 .. so yeah, don't worry :)**


	30. Chapter 30

The blue thing didn't help, and so I felt Locke's hand guiding me to a secret place, somewhere in my father's castle.

Locke...

Instead of helping me, instead of working for me, he was working for _him,_ and from the beginning.

Locke..

He delivered me to my enemy.

Locke..

I was betrayed!

I was.. stupid.

I screamed and I hit the traitor, with my leg, with my hands, but he was stronger. The traitor was strong and, his master was.. amused.

I felt something cold running trough my body.. It was my fear, fear of what comes next.

Ramsay...

" _Dia, Dia.. **D** **i** **a**... when will you learn_?"

No.. This can't be happening!

I felt _his_ eyes, his cruel eyes, eyes like my father's .. I felt them on my skin, they were flaying me.

The traitor left, but the bastard had them more. They surrended me.

" _Now you're going to learn your lesson_. _And_ y _ou will learn it HARD way_!" the bastard spoke, his words sharp as his dogs' teeth.

I dared to look at him, he was smiling. How not surprising, I thought.

" _Strip her_." he ordered.

They stripped me and formed a circle around me.. A circle of lustful eyes..

I was naked and I didn't fight, instead.. I begged: " _Please_.." my eyes were in tears, already giving up. I wasn't ready for this.. I cannot fight while being humiliated like this.. I am a.. a lady..

I looked away from Ramsay, but his laughter caught my attention, and so I looked **up**.. Suddenly I realized.. I was kneeling.

" _I am_ so sorry.. _But_.. _I didn't_ _hear_ _you_ _sweet_ _sister. Could you repeat what you were saying_?"

I looked away, again..

 _"_ _Ple-Please.. Ramsay._ _._ _"_

Silence _.._

I looked up.. again..

His face was different now.. more serious, but still.. no words.

Did he lose his ability to talk? Did I?

I dared to stare at his eyes, deep, cold, and he smiled at me this time " _Please.. Is this what you said? Maybe I didn't hear well.."_ he spoke playfully, while moving closer to my naked kneeling form.

I noticed his eyes traveling across my body, and I knew that his hands will join them soon. He pulled me up.

First, Ramsay whispered something, something that I didn't really hear, and placing his hand under my chin, he said: " _I always thought you're skinny.. Very_ _thin and pale.. very noble.. But here you are, and this graceful curves do not lie, sister. You're a woman now._ " My body betrayed me at those words and I sighed.. Ramsay's eyes, now focused upon mine and with an obvious amusement, made me tremble " _Well.. almost a woman."_ he smiled.

His other hand quickly traveled up over my hip to the small of my back, drawing my body against his. Soon I felt his fingers traveling across my cold and sweaty skin.. everywhere.. I saw them and felt them everywhere...

I lost myself, and I lost myself in front of five, or seven grown up and everything but honorable men... all of them watching me with interest and.. lust, while my half - brother was taking advantage of a weak girl, I appeared to be.

Ramsay was caressing my every curve, slowly, gently and ... then he kissed me..

I felt hundred eyes on me.. I was more naked then ever..

" _Why.. do you.. want... your brother... dead._ " he spoke between kisses " _Tell me.. why_!" he demanded.

When I didn't answer, he pushed me.. He pushed me back on the floor and his men surrended me again.

I hugged myself.. I was hurt.

" _Tell, me why, Dia.. Why were you conspiring against me.. Better tell me why, and better tell me now.. Or this men, will-"_

He never finished his sentence, he didn't have to. I already knew. They brought me here, to this dark and lonely place, so they can rape me.. So they can rape a high - born girl like the ones they often dream of.

In _his_ eyes, I betrayed him.. Now I can die, just like Domeric did.. He didn't care, he never cared!

But, I found some bravery in me..

" _I should.. t-tell you something that-t you do not know.."_ It was a question and confession in the same time. He nodded.

I took a deep breath.. My heart was broken in million pieces.. My every hope was lost. This cannot be real!

" _I.. I... don't want you.. t-t-to die.. Just, go.. away. Leave... Dreadfort-t._ " I somehow said, my body shaking, my eyes again with tears.

I was weaker than usual, I almost couldn't recognize myself.

Real Diana would spit in their faces.. she would fight and promise revenge.

Laugher... All I could hear was.. laugher.

First it came from the bastard and soon it was followed by his men. Slowly the circle got tighter and tighter ...

Ramsay was suddenly behind me, pulling my legs toward him, pushing my head down...

 _"YOU ARE **MY** BITCH."_

No..

NO!

...and I woke up..

I woke up, this time, without screams..

I ESCAPED, this is all that matters.

The Northern sun was shining, weakly, gracefully like only the Northern sun can. I saw Anna removing the old curtains and Willa putting the new ones, they were silent and focused on their work.

" _A_ , _good time for cleaning lady's chambers._ " I joked " _While_ _she sleeps_.." It surprised me that I still had some sense of humor.. after previous night's nightmare.. nightmares.

 _"M'lady we were as quiet as it was possible. We are deeply sorry for waking you up-"_

 _"Oh don't be!"_ I said, trying to get up from the bed. My body was still stressed from the terrible dream I had. _"Thank you for bringing some light to my dark chambers."_

I should be grateful to these girls, they are my saviors, I thought.

Although they saw the painful expression I wore, both girls did not dare to call the maester. I had a bad night, again, and I hated maesters, that much they knew.

I noticed that they got used to it, to _me_..

 _"M'lady, do you, maybe, want to eat here?"_ Willa asked somehow shyly.

Eating with my family, after what I was put through last night, is not the best idea, I thought. I wanted to avoid Ramsay the entire day.. And I wasn't sure about Locke anymore.

Oh it's just a dream!

 _"Yes Willa.. that would be nice, for a change."_

You have plans, you have dreams, hopes.. _He_ killed your brother! You can't stop now Diana! You can't!

 _"Oh, shut up.."_ I mumbled to myself, as I took a seat by the window. Anna just gave me one of her small smiles. Thankfully she didn't hear me. Or maybe she did and she thinks I'm insane.

 _"Why changing the curtains now? They were clean, the purple ones?"_ I tried to speak to her once Willa was gone. We haven't spoken much since I took the black - haired girl in my service.

I didn't want Anna to be jealous or something. When I was in Barrowton, I had four maids, who were arguing all the time, and mostly because all of them wanted to be more important to me, than the others.

 _"Lord Bolton ordered cleaning and redecorating of the entire castle.. because of our guest.."_ Anna answered.

 _"Redecorating? And... guest?"_ I asked, surprised that we actually had a guest. We never had many visitors at Dreadfort. I remember that the Starks were our guests once, but only for short.. My aunt doesn't count, she's a family.

 _"M'lady.. you don't know?"_

 _"Know what?"_

The girl looked like a ghost.. silent ghost..

 _"Know what?"_ I repeated angrily. I hated when she was like that.

 _"M-M'lady.. Lord Harrion Karstark.. He's on his way to Dreadfort."_

Shit.

Shit. Fuck. SEVEN HELLS.

 _"Can you repeat the name please? Maybe I didn't hear well."_

Yes, yes.. It must be that I didn't hear her well..

 _"Lord Harrion, m'lady.. your betrothed. He will be here in four days or less. I thought you.. you knew."_

What? How could I know that. No one told me anything!

 _"B-But I sent him a letter.. I told him, I'm safe and that.. there is no need for me to go to.. Karhold or him to come here.. WHAT IS WRONG with thaat man?"_

Anna said nothing, she just looked down, shaking..

 _"You should have told me, Anna.."_ I said to her, somewhat sadly. Seven hells I was even starting to like this girl. This stupid girl.

Harrion Karstark..

I wasn't flattered at all by his care this time.. I felt angry, frustrated and overwhelmed.

He is going to ruin everything!

 _"I cannot.. This is too much!"_ I yelled and than, I don't know why and how, but I took a bottle of wine that was there on the table.. and a minute later a bottle is somehow thrown through a window . . .

" _M'lady_!"

 _"I'm done. I'm done."_

 _"M'lady.."_

 _"WHAT?"_

 _"You're hurt!"_

My hands.. blood, glass.. BLOOD.

 _"It's nothing.."_

 _"I should call the maest-"_

 _"No, call Locke."_

Anna was frozen in place _"L-Locke?"_ she asked quietly.

 _"Yes. And NOW."_

 _"Y-Yes m'lady.."_

After a while a bearded hunter, my mysterious ally and a traitor from my dream appeared. _"You're hurt."_ was the first thing he said.

Anna was standing behind him small and silent.. just like always.

 _"Get out."_ I told her and she obeyed.

Locke approached looking at my hands that I tried to "fix" without maester helping me _"Ser Luke agreed to meet you.. tonight."_ he said _"Are_ _you alright_ _m'lady_? _"_ he asked me when I said nothing.

I nodded my head. I was sitting in my favorite chair, looking at Locke, studying him carefully. I didn't trust him.. That dream.. _"Harrion Karstark will be here soon-"_

 _"I know, Ser Luke knows that too and others.. also. It complicates things."_ he said _"It.. is not too late m'lady, maybe you should stop here, I know the bastard, he's way too dangerous-"_

 _"You're_ _suggesting?"_

 _"Give up! You are going to marry the heir of Karhold.. Karstarks are among the three largest houses in the North-"_

 _"I could have married Robb Stark, you know."_ I said, with a certain sadness and pride in my voice, and Locke was watching me curiosly _"Starks are one of the largest, oldest, proudest family in the entire Westeros.. but I did not and I will not marry a Stark. I am a Bolton, and this castle is mine, by right. Now.. Locke, I will have to call my maester, because this body of mine needs help."_ I said _"I'll see you tonight."_

The hunter looked speechless. He probably found me to be foolish. Foolish girl, she knows nothing.

 _"Oh and Locke.. If something happens to me, tonight, something bad.. my aunt's men and my future husband's too will be here soon after. And they will hunt you first. Do you understand?"_

 _"Yes.. m'lady."_

 _"Good.."_ I said " _Now_ , _leave_."

I wasn't alone for a long. Willa entered my chambers with food and drink and her own fears, but surprises also _"M'lady, do not worry about anything! I told Anna to clean the mess down there, in the yard where the bottle fell. And I will clean up here. Also, no one saw what happened.. well, I did and Anna was with you when it happened, and Old Mace saw something too, but, he won't say anything.. Don't worry, he won't dare."_

 _"What did you.. do?"_ I asked surprised.

 _"I.. I put a knife on is neck and I told him that I_ _'ll kill him if he says anything_ _.."_ she admited _"He promised me to be quiet. No one will spy on you again, m'lady. I am your maid now, I will protect you. Oh, and I called the maester for you!"_

* * *

 **People I am back (finally lol). New chapters are coming soon, this one was more like a** **sneak peek for the next. F** **eel free to review. :)**

 **Love you all 3**


	31. Chapter 31

Who is this girl? It was my first thought after what she said to me about poor Old Mace, who I knew my entire life and with who I shared bread many times...

I used to spend many hours in the cousy Dreadfort's kitchen, just sitting there and sometimes even having a meal with servants. Typically, most of the time they would try to run away from me.. typically for Dreadfort's subjects.

And I couldn't understand why.. All I wanted was their company, some food, a place by fire and stories.. I wanted to know what they talk about, what simple, common people talk about. But they didn't want that, they were afraid. It took me a time to realize that it was all my father's fault..

The Lord of Dreadfort didn't approve his only daughter's closeness with the lowborn people. And they, no matter how much charming and no matter how much a lady I was for them..they would try to avoid getting too close with me when he's around.

 _"You will not spend time with my daughter again, boy. If I see you trying to talk to her, or worse, play with her, or whatever that was today.. I will have your head on spike."_ I heard father saying this once to a stable boy, with who I was.. wrestling, when Ramsay or Domeric weren't home.

It was just a game.. a children's way to prove their strength, their power...

Wait.. children's way? More like, boy's way...

Anyway, my father didn't see it as game, and neither did my lady mother, who was shocked when she heard about it. I saw it as game, I saw it as something fun, but my parents saw it as something inappropriate and offensive.

And really, I have never ever seen that stable boy again..

Most servants become terrified by the Boltons, and sooner or later they want to leave and return never again, but.. Old Mace.. There is a reason why we call him "old". He served my grandfather, and after him, his son, my father.. He would have served Domeric too..

Old Mace.. Old Mace is spying on me, apparently..

He will not do that again, right? And thanks to my new maid, Willa.. Willa who was trying to kill him, or just scare him (I still have a lot to learn about the girl).

So, who is she?

Who is this black - haired beauty? I was asking myself.

She **_is_ ** pretty, I see that now.. Large dark eyes, long dark hair, tall girl, tall and slim, and pale. With lips as red as strawberries and those delicate cheekbones, she looks almost like nobility, I thought.

It's not like lowborns are ugly, The North is full of beautiful women, highborn, lowborn.. .. wildling, but Willa didn't even look Northern.. She seemed more like, something between Dornish and Northern.. The Stormlands maybe? The Vale? She is indeed fascinating.. Or maybe her personality made me think that of her?

I always admired dangerous women.. Because of my aunt probably.

 _"Old Mace is spying on me... For who?"_ I asked her, my eyes still wide from the surprise she gave me.

I did see something in her..

I saw her.. will. I saw potential in her... Well, comparing to Anna, who was weak and afraid of everything, and who I didn't really trust, this girl Willa seemed.. decent. Now I, maybe see why, I thought.

 _"Lord Bolton. I heard Old Mace once, saying to Lord Bolton about.. well about your nightmares. This is how Lord Bolton first found out about them. Old Mace told him. Old Mace was going to tell him about what happened today, too, but I stopped him."_ she answered with a new strength in her voice. Fascinating!

" _M'lady_.." she spoke again _"Truth to be told, I think he doesn't know many things about you. No one does.. You are very.. mysterious, and even for Anna and me.. and we are spending most of our time with you."_ she said it with a small smile on her red lips.

 _"Yes. You're probably right about that. I don't talk much"_ I said _"And.. well.. I have no many secrets, to be honest."_ I wasn't honest.

 _"But spying is spying. He needs to stop."_ she suddenly said, and very quickly.

 _"Y-Yes, of course. He needs.. everyone needs."_ I laughed. Gods.. I never thought anyone would spy on me, I was raised to be.. daughter, wife, mother.. I never thought I would lose Domeric, I never thought I would "get Ramsay".

But it happened..

Years ago, Ramsay came to our lives. Years ago, he became my obsession.. From love, to fear and hate.. we've been through it all.

I watched Willa cleaning the mess I created, pulling the curtains to cover the broken window and making almost everything look as before.. Suddenly it came to me..

 _"There.. There is only one problem.."_ I said, while staring at her dark eyes. It gave her shivers, I knew by the way she looked away for a moment. It's same with me when I talk with Ramsay, or my father..

 _"Yes, m'lady?"_ she asked quietly, avoiding the eye contact.

 _"Why would my father order Old Mace to spy on me? You and Anna spend most of the time with me, and not.. Old Mace. You said it yourself, you two are the closest to me."_

 _"M_ _'lady-" ..._ and the two knocks on the door. I looked at the direction of the sound and ordered Willa to reveal the visitor _"It is probably maester."_ she said, nervously, while approaching the huge, black, wooden door of my chambers.

 _"Yes it is."_ I said when I saw the old red - haired standing at the doorstep and looking at my hurt hands _"We will talk later Willa. You can leave now."_

Willa left and I turned my all attention on the Dreadfort's maester. I knew this man, since I was a child. Many of these people served my family for years. Maester Tybald was one of them.

 _"My lady-"_

 _"The blue thing didn't help!"_

His eyes looked serious, concerned _"I know. I suspected-"_

 _"You told me it helps!"_

I really couldn't handle this dreams anymore, it was getting worse and worse..

Everything actually started at the night of the attack. I came back from Winterfell full of hopes and dreams.. ambitions. And than that man appeared, and from nowhere. He was going to ruin everything!

It affected me a lot.. What he said, about his daughter, his little girl.. How he was all about revenge, how he didn't care that I had nothing to do with what happened to her.. to Emma.

He was going to avenge his daughter's death, by ruining my life! It was too much for me..

 _"I said that.. it helped me. If I remember right, and I'm pretty sure I do, I told you, my lady that.._ _the treatment your lord father is using is something you should, MUST, try."_ He was brave, the maester was brave to say that.

No one said anything, for some time. He was watching me, and I was watching him..

"Grey rats", my aunt calls the maesters..

 _"I.. I will think.. about it."_ I said, wanting to change the subject _"But now I need your help with **this**." _ I said raising my hands to show him my injuries. It was beginning to hurt, and I could swear I had some more pieces of glass stabbed in my right hand.

 _"It doesn't look serious."_ the maester commented _"How did you.. manage-"_

 _"I fell! And I grabbed the table.. The bottle fell on me.. on my hands-"_

 _"Through the window."_

 _"What.."_

 _"The bottle fell through the window. You grabbed it tightly, very tightly and with your both hands... and for some reason you decided to brake the window with it. A moment later the bottle of wine was in the yard. I saw everything."_

 _"Maester Tybald.."_ I said surprised.

 _"My lady.."_ smiling he bowed his head slightly, and after a while he was the one to break the silence _"I saw what happened. I also saw your maid trying to kill my old friend, Mace."_ he said, smiling.

Willa..

I don't know why, but I felt some kind of relief.. She **was** saying the truth..

 _"And what else did you see?"_ I asked him, smirking. This man is like a snake, I thought. He's trying so hard to place those bloodsuckers on me... He would even tell my father about the incident. My father would than do everything to convince me to "purge myself of bad blood". He needs me sane and healthy, strong and Bolton...

 _"Nothing, to be honest."_ maester Tybald smiled again, smile warm and pleasant _"But I did hear you yelling on your other maid.. I didn't hear what though."_ he said _"My lady.. your hands are hurt, and even though it isn't a serious injury, it's still an injury.. and I can lose my head if you don't let me help you."_

I don't care for your head, rat..

 _"But if you want to suffer infection-"_

Infection? I looked at my bleeding hands _"No."_ I said. I don't have a time for infection..

 _"Maester Tybald."_ I spoke looking at the old man _"You can help me, but that doesn't mean I like you.."_ I said.

 _"Thank you my lady.._ " he took it very seriously, or so it seemed.

I sat on the edge of my bed, and maester Tybald sat in a chair in front of me _"This won't take long."_ he said, taking something from his bag.

You know what my problem is? Overthinking.

Maester Tybald was long gone, and I even ordered Willa and Anna to go and take a day off. They were very confused, but what can I do? I needed some time with myself.. I needed my time to think. They already did everything I asked them to do, and now I wanted to just be alone and to think, to think about my life after _tonight_.

Tonight I'm going to meet my loyalists.. I have to look presentable, and strong, which is going to be hard with those bandages on my hands.. They might think I'm unstable, suicidal.. or maybe, I can tell them that Ramsay did this, I thought while looking at my hands. If they are truly loyal to House Bolton, they will take his actions as offence!

The deep blue dress with purple flowers on it.. I will wear it tonight. I looked at myself in the mirror.. I will leave my long dark hair down, it makes me feel.. safer, and more pretty, more girly.

I wondered does Harrion Karstark find me pretty... Is he marrying me, because he wants that, or because his father wants him to do so? Is he coming to Dreadfort to claim what is his, by right, and to do his duty, or because he is attracted to me? Does he like the idea of marrying me, or not really?

He told me in his letter that he thinks of me. At that feast he seemed to be conformable with the idea of me being his future wife.. But he was still a stranger for me, and the thought of marrying a stranger was slowly becoming terrifying. What if he's the same as Ramsay? What if he's just pretending that he likes me?

Than, I'll pretend also, I thought. I am my father's daughter after all, I can do it.

I was playing with Lucky, when I heard knocks on the door. Ramsay.

He entered my chambers, smiling and staring at me strangely, as always.

 _"He's growing up quickly.. sister."_ he said, looking at the little white hound he gave me.

Ramsay closed the door, and sat on the bed, and than slowly moving his hand over the bed's cover, he said: _"I wish I could be the one to warm your body at nights. Too bad you will leave us soon.. to go to Karhold. It seems like I'm never gonna get my wish come true."_

Warm my body.. at nights..

His voice was, almost childlish.. It made me think of the times when we were children, when I was twelve and he was a little bit older.. When he touched my hair and kissed my lips for the first time. I thought it was the most beautiful thing ever..

 _"What do you want?"_ I asked him as coldly as it was possible, and Ramsay smirked _"I just wanted to see my dog.."_ he lied of course.

 _"He's my dog now."_ I said, taking the little hound in my arms. I became very fond of the little creature, I didn't want Ramsay to take it from me, to take him, like everything else..

 _"You're right, he's yours. I gave him to you."_ he said _"Did you name him yet?"_ he asked me.

 _"He's name is Lucky..."_ I answered, very proudly.

 _"Lucky?"_

 _"Lucky."_

Ramsay laughed _"You named him Lucky?"_ he asked me, his ice - blue eyes wide _"But.. he's a dog, my lady.. not a bird or a cat.."_

SEVEN HELLS...

 _"He's mine, alright? I can call him princess if I want to."_

What for the seven hells is wrong with "Lucky"? Everyone wants.. luck in life, and this dog was LUCKY ENOUGH to both survive the fire and to be mine instead of Ramsay's..

 _"You are right"_ he said, not smiling at me this time. He than took a few slow steps closer to me, and he sat down on the floor by me and Lucky saying: _"Lucky is a right name for him."_

I looked at Ramsay carefully.. Is he up to something again, like the day before when he captured me with his strong arms and did things to me, things I never felt before...

I almost wanted him to do it again, to breathe on my neck, and than bite it... to kiss my lips and touch my skin, to go down with his fingers..

 _"You will teach him how to hunt. He's loyal to you, as I can see even now, and he'll be a good hunter. He must be, because both of his parents were. It's in his blood."_

He still spoke...about the dog..

Gods..

I wondered what would he think if he knew what I was thinking?

It's in his blood..

 _"And what is in your blood?"_ I asked Ramsay, who in return just smirked.

I let the dog down, and I stood up from the floor _"Ramsay you need to go."_ I said and he looked at me questioningly. _"You need to go, because.. I need to rest, I had a bad day.. morning."_

 _"So I heard."_ he said _"You hurt yourself."_

The damn maester.. He told him, I thought.

 _"Let me see."_ he stood up and took my hands in his.

 _"It's nothing.. Maester Tybald helped-"_

 _"Maester Tybald? My lady, you don't fear maesters anymore?"_

He told you himself, don't pretend you don't know!

And why would I fear him? Why would I fear the maester?

 _"I never feared maesters!"_

He stood there in front of me, smiling at me and holding my hands in his.. and suddenly I remembered my dream.. Would he really rape me if that dream wasn't the dream? Would he really go that far? Will he?

He needs to go..

He needs to go.. away.

 _"Just.. go.."_

 _"I will, don't worry."_ he said and he left my hands _"I'm going to hunt with our father today."_ he said _"H_ _opefully we will catch something big. If we do, we will make a feast_ _tomorrow_ _. Father would want you to be present, since you are the lady of this castle.. still."_ he said smiling.

Still...

 _"There are many feasts to look forward.. Your future husband will be here soon, we have to welcome him, the way he deserves.."_

Still _.._

 _"I agree. My future husband deserves to be welcomed properly and with all the honors.. His future wife is the heir to this castle after all."_

Ramsay looked at me with those strange eyes for a moment, thinking about Gods know what, and than he said:

 _"You are right, Dia.. You're always right."_

With those words, he left me alone, again.. Alone with myself and my thoughts..

I watched him and father from the window.. I watched them leaving to hunt.. He looked like his son, he looked like his heir.. and once again I looked at the mirror. I am a woman...a girl, a girl who doesn't know what she's doing. A, girl who doesn't know what she wants.

This is what I thought about myself. Or did I?

I spent the rest of the day waiting for Locke in my chambers.. and when he arrived, he announced: _"It is time.."_

Once again he was leading me somewhere to my father's dark castle.. Once again my life was in his hands..

Once again I was afraid.. and I could only hope that, that dream meant nothing.

* * *

 **Thank you for your reviews! I really appreciate it that you leave your comments and suggestions. I want you to know that you can always tell me what would you like to happen somewhere in the future in this story, and I will see how I can do that. I know how to end this story, but everything before the ending is still open for changes and so you can always suggest something as one of the readers had. I will take it all in consideration, like I did now. :)**


	32. Chapter 32

I heard once some commoners in Barrowton, saying that my family still has special rooms where we hang the flayed skins of our enemies. I never seen those rooms, or the skins..

Well, maybe I'll see them now, considering that I have no idea where this strange man is leading me, I thought.

" _Are we close_?" I asked Locke. We've been walking from my chambers through the dark, long and stony hallway, until we went somewhere downstairs " _I have never been here before.. Or maybe I was, but it.. it was a long time ago_."

" _How well do you know this castle, m'lady_?" Locke suddenly asked, and even in the dark I could swear I saw him smirking.

" _I left this castle when I was twelve. I forgot things.. But here I am, back to the roots._ " I said.

Dreadfort is indeed fascinating, very strong and dark, with high towers and long hallways. Centuries ago, my family rose up against the Starks, and the Dreadfort held out for two years under siege before we finally surrendered.

I always liked and knew a lot of things from history. You can wake me up in early morning and ask me about Ghiscari Empire or Blackfyre rebellion and I'll tell you everything about it.

" _See, I don't need a maester, I have my niece_." aunt Barbrey used to brag about my impressive knowledge.

So, yes, Dreadfort is one of the strongest, and one of the most impregnable castles, but of course, nothing in the North can be compared with Winterfell. Just like nothing in the south can be compared to the Red Keep.

Targaryens, Starks, no matter what people say, no one can match them. Although the first ones are no more, or that's what I thought back then.

" _Understanding_." Locke commented " _You were very young when you left your home. Your brother was young too.. and than he came back_ -"

" _And he died_." I said.

" _And he died_.." Locke repeated my words, somewhat sadly and than for some reason he just stood silent for a moment. I didn't question his behavior, not after everything I saw so far in my lifetime. After a while the bearded hunter turned to face me saying: " _But you're still.. young, still a child_."

A child?

Well almost..

" _I just wanna say that.. your life has just begun, m'lady. Don't throw your life away._ "

After some more time of walking in the dark, the hunter finally informed me that we arrived.

What I saw was.. interesting. A, small room, small and dark, with only one small window and the door to enter... I felt like I was walking for hours to arrive.. _there_.

" _I apologize for the place_."

" _It's fine_."

" _This isn't.. the best place for a lady_ -"

" _It's fine. Where is Ser Luke_?" I asked.

Like if he was ashamed or angry, Locke said: " _Ser Luke doesn't want me to be here, to listen what you have to say to each other. He doesn't trust me that much. They will all be here soon after I leave_."

Well you asked for this, I thought. You said it yourself that you don't want to serve me, so what the hell. And then again I remembered that dream, where a traitor Locke gave me to my half - brother.. Where he betrayed me and than left me..

What if that dream means something, something like.. a warning? The thought sent a shiver up my spine.

" _S-So you're going now? You're leaving me alone_?" I asked and he nodded his head. This was getting more and more.. terrifying " _Alright. Go then_." I said, somewhat angrily.

I was alone, for only a couple of minutes, but already the well know darkness consumed me, darkness and cold. What if this all is a trap, just like in the dream? I asked myself.

No.

No..

It can't be.

I told Locke that if something happens to me, my aunt and Harrion will send their armies to hunt him down, him the first. He should be worried, right? He wouldn't dare to betray me, like he did in my nightmare..

Nothing is for sure, I knew that much. Domeric was the heir to Dreadfort, future Lord Bolton and he died. He died and no one avenged him. And people loved Domeric more than they love me, I thought.

" _M'lady_." suddenly I heard the voice and I turned around to see the person behind it.

OH THANK GODS.

Ser Luke was standing in front of me, his smiling eyes welcoming mine..

I was so happy that he wasn't Ramsay and that the men behind him weren't Ramsay's men.. I was so happy that I wanted to hug him, but somehow, I restrained myself.

" _Ser_ _Luke_.."

" _M'lady_." he bowed to me and the others followed his action.

Somehow I had a strange feeling that I can trust this man. The same feeling I had when I met Ned Stark's bastard. Both Ser Luke and Jon Snow look and act noble, noble and honorable.. They seem trustworthy and.. close to me. Ser Luke, although much older and experienced than Jon, reminded me of Winterfell's bastards, and for some reason I liked that fact very much.

" _Locke told me that I have men, men loyal to me, men who were loyal to my brother Domeric-_ "

" _We're still loyal to your brother, the real heir to Dreadfort. But he's dead.. and you live._ " one of the men said. He was tall, tall and with brown hair, green eyes and strong jaw.. and he didn't seem too friendly.

" _I don't think I know you._ " It was more of a question. I was curious to know who were my followers. Or were they my followers? Ser Luke was accompanied with eight men and they all seemed strong, serious.. distant, men I didn't know.

" _Forgive my friend Bill_." Ser Luke said " _He's.. nervous. We all are. We risk too much._ "

" _I didn't ask you to risk anything. You did it yourself, you sent me that paper and-_ "

" _Yes, m'lady, you're right. We're doing this, because we want **this**_." Ser Luke stopped my saying " _M'lady_.." he started again, moving closer to me and looking somewhat deeply in my eyes " _we are all here, because we know who that bastard is and what he did. He has no honor and he has no right or strength to lead this house in the future_." his words revealed his anger. I could feel it, Ser Luke hated my half - brother.

I heard from Willa that he was my brother's most trusted advisor and.. friend. When he left to Barrowton Ser Luke followed him, when he left to the Vale, Ser Luke followed him again.. when he came back home, Ser Luke.. wasn't with him. I never really saw him with Domeric, or maybe I just didn't notice him before. It looks like, he was always there.. almost always.

" _I appreciate your good and noble intentions_." I said, my eyes giving attention to every men in the room. I wanted them to know, to feel how grateful I was to all of them " _I.. I do need your help. The.. b-bastard.. he, he's disturbing me, stalking me. He told me himself, that he killed our brother_." I said.

" _He admited_?" the brown-haired man, Bill, asked me and I nodded " _Yes, he did. He told me that I'm next, if I don't obey him._ " I said.

" _Bastard_." one of the men hissed and the others also seemed to be disgusted by what I said about Ramsay. Excellent.

This is my chance, I thought. This was my only and maybe even last chance to get rid of Ramsay and the influence and effect he had on me. It won't stop with me marryng Harrion, I thought. Ramsay will find his way to get to me. His way to "warm my body at nights" as he said.

" _He did this_." I raised my hands, showing them that morning's injuries. Of course, Ramsay had nothing to do with them, BUT...

" _He hurt you, m'lady_?" the same man asked and I nodded " _He hurts me, whenever he has a chance. He threatens me, he wants me to convince father to.. to recognize him.. to give him his name_."

" _That cannot happen_." Ser Luke commented " _If Lord Bolton recognizes his bastard, this house and everyone who has anything to do with it will end up with ashes_." he said.

" _I have no choice. If you don't help me, if you don't protect me.. I.. I don't know what to do. Harrion can't protect me, not from Ramsay, not forever. And my father.. I don't even know what to think about my father._ "

" _We will protect you, m'lady_!" Ser Luke was assuring me " _That bastard has no chance against us. We aren't the only ones, there are more, much more, who think the same way_."

" _Thank_ _you_.." I whispered. I couldn't find my voice and it looked like that woke up something inside Ser Luke Young, because of the way he was looking at me.

It only motivated me to continue.

" _Often, I don't feel safe or protected.. First I lost my brother and I came back home and it was everything but a warm welcome._ " I said " _Than that attack happened and Ramsay.. Ramsay just... I want him far away from my home, my father, me.. He's a danger for everyone_."

" _Forgive me m'lady, but I have to ask._ " I heard Bill's voice and I looked at him. This one is hard, I thought.

" _Yes.. Ser Bill_?"

" _Oh no, I'm no Ser, Lady Bolton_." he smiled " _I'm just a low - born swordsman. And you are a future Lady Karstark, if I'm not wrong_ -"

" _Lady Diana, Bolton or not is Lord Bolton's only living trueborn_." Ser Luke came to my defense " _She's the heir to Dreadfort. It's her birth right and every other right. You should not question those things._ " he said.

" _Thank you Ser Luke_." I smiled to him " _But I understand Bill's.. curiosity."_ I said and I turned my gaze to face Bill's _"I understand what you're saying.. You're saying that I'm a.. woman_ -"

" _M'lady you don't have to explain yourself_." one of the man said, but I ignored him. I had to say this, I just had " _I am a woman.. a girl. But I'll have sons, and unlike Ramsay, my sons will be decent, noble, wise. If you help me, you will have only the best. How about serving an honorable lord? How about becoming a knight?_ "

It looked like my words affected him and Bill thought for a moment, but than he said: " _This is dangerous.. If we are going to do this-_ " he turned his head to Ser Luke " _..then we have to do it right._ " he said to him.

" _We will do it right_." I heard Ser Luke saying " _Lady Diana is our only hope, and WE are HER only hope. I know you understand that Billy. You know Ramsay._."

" _Yes I know him, but I don't know her_!" Bill said, pointing his hand towards me " _And I heard people saying.. things about her._ "

Things..

Things about me?

Things about me..

Gods.. Gods..

" _She's your lady_!" Ser Luke yelled at Bill, and I flinched like if something hit me in my face. Noticing my reaction Ser Luke apologized, but still he continued to speak only a little less angrily than before: " _You have to be careful Bill.. I know you're.. hard, but when you talk to Lady Bolton, you talk to her with respect. She's Domeric's sister_."

" _She's Ramsay's sister too_." another man commented.

Enough..

Enough!

" _Aye. I'm both Domeric's and Ramsay's.. I am both my mother's and my aunt's.. I am my father's too_." I said " _I share the blood with all of them. I don't know what you heard about me, but.. the only thing you really need to know, is that I wouldn't be here if I don't think with my own head. I might be related to all those people, but I have my own opinion about things.. I have my own feelings, and right now I feel only anger! I don't feel ambition or fear, I only want to avenge my brother and as you said Bill, I want to do the things right. I want to do the right thing for this house, for myself and for you also."_

After my words they all looked at each other and after that again at me. Suddenly Ser Luke took his sword and drew it out, and just as before, other men followed him and did the same. Bill seemed to hesitate a little, but in the end he did the same. They all knelt.

At first I was.. surprised and more than surprised, not knowing what this all meant, but when Ser Luke said his next words, I knew..

" _I offer my services to you, Lady Bolton. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New._ "

WHAT? Did he just..?

WHAT!

" _We'll protect you, Lady Bolton. It is our duty_." I heard one man's voice and I smiled.. I smiled unconsciously.. I smiled to myself.

I looked at Ser Luke " _And.. And I vow that you shall always have a place.. by my hearth, and meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it.. by the Old Gods and the New. Arise._ " Tears in my eyes. Tears. " _Thank you, Ser Luke_ " I said " _Thank you all_. _Thank you_."

While Ramsay was my dark secret, Ser Luke will slowly become my light. And like a butterfly curious about candles' flame, I will become curious about him.


	33. Chapter 33

_"I should go back to my chambers. It's pretty late and I'm pretty tired. I must look terrible now.."_

 _"If this is how you look when you are tired.. I can only imagine how fascinating you are when you're well-rested. My lady, with face as yours, you can never look terrible."_

Ser Luke and I were standing on the same spot as before, only that now we were alone, left by the others. I felt safe in his company, I felt like I knew him for years.

But he was obviously overvaluing me..

Fascinating.. I'm not fascinating, not even close..

Maybe he just wants me to feel better, I thought. Maybe he sees how desperate I am.

 _"Thank you, Ser Luke, you are too kind."_

 _"Not at all, my lady. I am a knight, I must be honest."_

Knight..

Knights are supposed to be brave, honorable, and true to their word. They should be loyal and protective about both smallfolk and nobility. Unfortunatly, in practice, they often fall short of sustaining such high and noble ideals. Many seek knighthood only for the prestige and opportunities.. or at least that's what I heard. I was still too young to see all of that and with my own eyes.

But I decided that I didn't believe in knights, I didn't believe in the men of the night's watch, in maesters, septas and other "honorable Westerosi citizens". I couldn't understand how can some people live without sinning. It's impossible, I thought.

Greed, lust, envy.. we are made of sins..

But I did believe in Ser Luke. I wanted to believe in him.. In my opinion, it was a risk worth taking.

 _"Let me escort you to your chambers, my lady."_

When did "m'lady" become "my lady"? I wondered.

 _"Someone could see us-"_

 _"No one will see us, I promise. I swore to protect you Lady Bolton and so I will."_

For a moment I thought that I was living in some kind of a song or something..

Defend the weak and protect the innocent..

How it goes? Oh I remember..

In the name of the Warrior I charge you to be brave. In the name of the Father I charge you to be just. In the name of the Mother I charge you to defend the young and innocent. In the name of the Maid I charge you to protect all women.

Southerners and their new gods..

 _"If you insist.."_

 _"I do."_ He gave me a calm, reassuring smile and offered me his arm, which I accepted. _"You have nothing to worry about my Lady. You are not alone anymore."_

Earlier that night, when everyone was still present, Ser Luke and I agreed that we will meet again the next night. He heard from some servants that Ramsay's new chambers are going to be ready for him in two days and that Harrion will arrive in three days most likely. The next night was our best chance to discuss my complicated situation.. in peace.

I had a plan, but I didn't reveal it yet. I thought that it would be too much for a first meeting. I had enough problems with convincing that stubborn man, Bill.. or better said Bull. Stubborn like a bull. I had enough problems with him.

The Bull said that he heard _things_ about me.. Already I was famous.

 _"Are you afraid my lady?"_ Ser Luke asked me, his voice being as softest as it was possible. When I didn't answer, he said: _"It's alright if you are. If you're afraid, you're not stupid.. Fear will make you more careful about things. It will force you to think faster, better."_

 _"Are you afraid?"_ I dared to ask him and he smiled sweetly _"When there is a good reason, I am."_ he said.

I smiled at that, he was a charming man, I discovered. We walked and when we reached the stairs I said: _"I should continue alone from here. It's safer."_

 _"Safer?"_ Ser Luke narrowed his eyes _"M'lady, I thought you trust me."_

 _"I do, I trust you-"_

 _"Really? Already?"_ he asked, raising an eyebrow.

What?

Is he mocking me? I wondered.

 _"Well.. not really."_ I confessed _"I never trust anyone, though I think I risked a lot tonight."_

 _"Yes.. you're risking with me.."_ he whispered and took a step closer, his sharp eyes sparkling in the dark _"You don't know me."_ he continued _"Still, you're talking to me.. Alone.. scared, emotionally neglected.. hurt by your brother's death, your father's coldness.. Alone and in the silent dark, alone and-"_

 _"With a knife."_ I said, proudly revealing the secret weapon and placing it on Ser Luke's chest _"Fear made me be more careful.."_

His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open _"I'm impressed."_ he said _"You're smarter than I thought.. Full of surprises, I see now. Domeric was right about you."_

Domeric? Domeric spoke about me?

 _"What did he tell you?"_ I asked and before I could understand what was going on, Ser Luke grabbed my wrist and stole the sharp knife from my hand.

Fuck.

He now stood behind me, holding me strongly to his chest, and so I couldn't run away.

"Domeric t _old me you're smart, calculating.. wild_." he said and I could feel him on the back of my neck. Suddenly he started to remind me of Ramsay _"unpredictable, charming, thinking."_

 _"Only that?"_ I asked. For some reason this was becoming.. exciting. I wanted to throw him on the ground, take my knife back, kick him with my leg.. I wanted to fight him! ... and he felt it, he knew it.

Ser Luke laughed and I laughed too. I felt like if he was my best friend. And I saw it in his eyes too.. He knew that I wasn't like other ladies. Maybe he hoped for another Domeric. He missed him I knew.

When he finally left me, I turned around to face him again: _"Give me back my knife."_ I demanded.

 _"No."_ he said smiling _"You'll have to take it from me."_ he said, his smile even more wider. He raised the knife and held it in front of his eyes. Looking at it with a certain curiosity and admiration, he said: _"It's a good knife.._ _Where did you get it?"_

Ramsay gave it to me..

 _"F-Father gave it to me."_

Ser Luke smiled widely _"Lord Bolton gave you a knife, so you can protect yourself. But look at you-"_

 _"I thought you said you will protect me."_

Ser Luke looked at me, he looked at my eyes and with the sudden change in his face he said: _"Yes. I said I will protect you, and I will. But if you want to rule this place one day.. if you want to lead this people, you have to be stronger.. less trusting. You say you don't trust people, but you came alone tonight, and with only one knife and no skills for fighting. I tricked you. I stole your precious little knife from you, and you didn't even fight to keep it. I'm doing this for your own good. You have to learn, m'lady."_

I was.. speechless. He was right, he was right about everything! I'm just a little hurt girl, unstable and unstoppable in hurting myself. I know nothing and I don't know what I got myself into. I'm going to war, without any war skill. I'm alone.. I have no one by my side..

No..

No..

STOP!

I must stop this!

 _"Lady Diana?"_ he called me and I looked at him, my eyes full of tears _"M'lady.."_ he reached for me, my knife now strapped to his back. He grabbed my arms gently _"Forgive me.. Maybe I was too harsh. I just wanted to help you.. I.. I've been watching you tonight and I thought.._ _Ahh I'm sorry I was never good with children.."_

Children _.._

Child.. That's what I am.

STUPID, NAIVE CHILD.

He hugged me..

So warm, so beautiful.. safe. I'm safe!

No. I won't break down, not in front of him.

I escaped his hug, and I looked at him proudly _"I will see you tomorrow, Ser."_ I said, trying to sound strong, and I wanted to leave, but he didn't want to let me go. He grabbed my hand _"M'lady, please forgive me, I.. I didn't know."_ he said _"I would do anything to protect Domeric's sister... I would even give my own life for you. I owe this to Domeric."_

 _"Domeric? You call your lord by his name?"_

 _"He was my friend, my brother-"  
"Good." _I said _"I am glad."_ I said and I forced a smile _"If you two loved each other that much.. and if you're truly honorable as you're saying.. than I'm safe. No one can hurt me if you're by my side."_

Ser Luke seemed shocked _"You.. aren't angry?"_ he asked me.

 _"No."_ I said _"I'm just.. tired."_

He bowed to me with respect and somewhat fondness and he left me alone finally.. I climbed a few steps and that's when I heard their voices..

Traitors..

 _"We should tell Ramsay."_

 _"I agree. He's a bastard but-"_

 _"Lord Bolton will always choose him over that girl."_

 _"Face it, Bill.. What can she offer to Lord Bolton? Nothing.."_

 _"I don't know.."_

 _"Come on Bill.. Peter is right. She has no chance, even Luke can't help her."_

Bastards.. Fucking bastards! Traitors..

I stood silently in the corner, just like I when I was in Winterfell.. when I was reading THEIR letter.

Gods..

 _"Bill, why do you think so much? Come on, she didn't convince you, did she?"_

 _"We knelt in front of her, Peter.."_

 _"So what? We knelt before Lord Bolton too, we knelt before young Lord Domeric.."_  
 _"Luke gave us no choice.. We had to kneel, otherwise, he would've killed us both."_

 _"What about the others? There are many who would kneel to her. There are many who hate the bastard."_  
 _"Screw them all! Ramsay will kill them anyway.."_

 _"Yeah.. and he will take his time, if you know what I mean.."_

FOR FUCK'S SAKE! TRAITORS.. TRAITORS JUST LIKE IN MY DREAM!

Three..

I can kill three.

My knife.. Oh no.. Ser Luke took him!

Fuck..

Suddenly I felt someone's hand over my chest and the other on my lips _"Shhhh... It's me, Luke."_.

Luke? Is he a traitor too? No.. he would never.. after what he said just a few moments ago. Luke is my brother's friend, Luke is my brother's brother.

 _"Stay quiet."_ he whispered to me _"Stay quiet and stay here.. and don't watch if you can't."_

* * *

 **So, more action in the next chapter and now I think I should answer your questions, because I forgot the last time ( sorry :/ )**

 **So yeah..**

 **First I have to thank you for leaving your comments :) And now questions.. Yes, Luke is Domeric's friend and he was something like a big brother to Domeric. While Diana was close to Ramsay, Domeric was spending most of his time with Luke who is older than Domeric.. Luke is in his late twenties now, he's Northerner and a knighted lowborn.. He's my OC and he will be important in later chapters. I won't have many OCs the future, just those I have now and maybe some new in the future, but they won't be important. Also Willa, Anna, Old Mace, Bill, they are also my OCs. Maester Tybald is a character from the books, in the show Boltons had a different maester.**

 **No, Diana is not a warg, but she has a strong intuition, she is somewhat paranoid and anxious and she thinks a lot. All of that has an effect on her. She's also smart and she always thinks about possible outcomes of her actions. Being in a desperate situation where she feels and knows what her half - brother is and can be in the future, makes her a little bit crazy lol**

 **Yes, traitors and spies are everywhere, but fortunately she finally found herself an ally :)**


	34. Chapter 34

Blood..

What I saw was bloody.. Ser Luke had no mercy for my enemies.

Everything was red, and even though Ser Luke used only my knife, even though they were all hiding behind their long shiny swords, Ser Luke won. He won for me, he won for my house and my birthright. My champion slaughtered Ramsay's, and with _our_ knife.

This was my first victory. A moment to remember.

 _"Luke, please, don't.."_ foolish stubborn Billy knelt down in a large pool of blood. He was begging for his life.. I smiled. It was pathetic.

 _"You betrayed her. Domeric's sister!"_ Ser Luke yelled.

Betrayal.. Betrayal and loyalty..

I had eyes only for the second. What I saw I could describe only as insane loyalty..

 _He_ was loyal to me..

To _me_?

 _"Domeric's sister, Bill. She's standing right there.."_ Ser Luke was now pointing to my shadow, inviting me to step out from the dark corner, and show myself.

I did what he asked..

I stood beside him, proudly looking at the kneeling man and he took a deep breath, saying: _"She.. She'll be the death to you, my friend..."_

 _"N_ _onsense."_ the proud knight hissed and looked at me with the same intensity like before, when he offered me his sword and life. He is a lowborn, I heard it from Willa... But he's acting more noble than some highborns, I thought.

" _I didn't betray her!_ " I heard Bill saying.

He was right.. somehow.

Others betrayed me.. Others who tried to make him do the same.

He hesitated, he resisted.. Or maybe Ser Luke interrupted them before Bill could reveal his true face, like others did.

Ser Luke frowned _"Are you sure in that?"_ he asked him _"I think I heard different-"_

 _"I don't know what you heard, but I never wronged Lady Bolton._ _I even wanted.. later.. to tell you about those two fuckers.."_ he said and he finally turned his full attention towards me, his lady _"Forgive.. my language. I don't.. like you much, it's true.. but I admired young Lord Bolton. He was.. much better for this house and much better than your.. other brother."_

Again, he was right..

 _"I understand."_ I said on both men's surprise _"You don't trust me, that's alright.. You don't believe in me, and I understand your_ _scepticism.. really, I do!"_ I told him _"Too bad you were also right about me being someone's death.. I'll be your death, my friend-"_ I smiled, my wide, crazy, uninvited smile slowly invading my every critical situation more and more.. A smile, just like Ramsay's, like some people later in my life told me _"because... I don't need men like you, men who won't believe and follow. I'll never be able.. to trust you."_

I thought for a moment, it was a hard decision, really.. My hands were shaking and so was my voice _"Execute this man, Ser Luke."_ I finally ordered and I turned my back to leave.

 _"Wait!"_ Bill yelled. I stopped. _"You s-s-said that, your sons will be.. honorable. How you're going to teach them to be h-honorable? You, who want me to die just for... not believing in you?"_

He was desperate, I knew. Everyone's afraid to die, why not stubborn and proud also?

 _"I knelt to you!"_

 _"And why did you kneel to me if you don't trust in me?"_ I turned around ready to face him again, but he looked away from me. And he didn't answer..

 _"I'll tell you why.."_ I said _"You knelt, only because you were afraid of this man here!"_ I pointed to Ser Luke _"You showed me no respect and you knelt down on your knees only because of the fear you felt. Now I see why you all were so afraid. He's way better then you_ _incapable_ _cowards! You knelt because of him.. not me.. Your dead friends were right."_

 _"Can you really blame me? I don't know you m'lady. I knew your brother Lord Domeric, but you.. you're... Just try to understand!"_

He was saying the truth.. But he was also provoking me, provoking me by being right AGAIN. What is it with this man and his way with words? I asked myself. Somehow it always gets me..

 _"I.. I don't want... to... die.."_

OH GODS ...

I turned to glare at Ser Luke, and he looked back somewhat calmly _"What should I do?"_ he asked me, his voice deep and reassuring.

What should you do?

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

Suddenly... I remembered..

Winterfell..

Locke..

The note..

Jon Snow..

Oh what an irony...

 _"What should I do m'lady?"_ Locke asked me _"He maybe heard us.."_

 _"I heard nothing! Nothing!"_ The young bastard shouted. The obvious fear conquered his eyes and voice. No man is brave with the sharp knife on his neck.. no man, especially not the young and inexperienced bastard. He was looking at me, his dark eyes begging me for mercy.. for a second chance..

And I felt power..

I felt pride..

I felt... sympathy?

 _"Leave him."_ I said then.

 _"Kill him."_ I said now.

He doesn't trust me.. He doesn't _know_ me.. He doesn't even have to, I thought. I am Lord Bolton's only living trueborn, that's all they need to know. My right isn't questionable..

Bill was dead and I even helped Ser Luke to remove the bodies.. It was the least I could do for him.

There were only three of them, but I felt like it was thousands of them lying on that cold stony floor. They were still warm when I first touched them, the bodies... We hid them and Ser Luke somehow convinced me to let him to escort me to my chambers. He'll take care of them later. He was going to bury them, or something. I offered him my help, but he refused _"You're a lady. I'll call Finn and Dave after I escort you."_

I felt coldness..

It was strange.. Those men.. I felt like I died with them that night.

 _"You have the strength in you, my lady."_ Ser Luke told me. His voice was again surprisingly calm _"We did what we had to do."_

We _.._

 _"Bill and others.. they were not trustworthy."_

But _.._

 _"You brought them to me-"_

 _"Forgive me.."_

No one ever asked me for forgiveness..

 _"No.."_ I said _"You forgive me. I made you kill your friends.."_

 _"They were not my friends."_ he said almost as he was offended _"They were not my friends.. Domeric was."_

The morning didn't bring me peace, or the second chance. It was all real. Those men died because of me.. How many will die because of me? How am I better than Ramsay now? How?

That night my nightmares didn't come back.. I didn't dream, because I didn't sleep.

Blood on my hands..

Blood on my hands..

I thought the entire night.. About them, about him.. How I'm gonna live with this?

And now I cried.. I hugged the pillow and the tears wouldn't stop.. It felt like I had a hole in my chest.. A big hole and emptiness where my heart used to be..

I did what I had to do..

I did what I had to do..

 _We_ did!

 _"M'lady?"_ a soft, gentle voice called me. I looked up and I saw Anna.. Than I looked around us. They were all here.. Father, Ramsay, our Maester, Willa..

" _Diana_.." father called me, and I knew that look in his eyes. He was analyzing me, he was trying to find out the truth. Ramsay on the other hand said nothing. He was just staring at me and than at our father, and than at me again.

Father approached my bed, sat down on the edge of it, and gave me that curious look _"What is happening with you?"_ he asked me and I looked down at my hands as if I was ashamed. I am the problem now, I thought. The problem of our family..

 _"Look at me child."_ he ordered and I couldn't help but obey _"Yes. You're going to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. What is happening with you?"_

I was too weak to fight my insticts and so I glared at Ramsay for a moment. Ramsay narrowed his eyes at me and than he smirked. He knew he was the main reason for my condition.. He was pulling me to the dark side, he was tempting me softly.. He was turning me into a monster without even doing anything drastic. All of that was in my blood already..

Than I remembered father's words "You're going to look me in the eyes" and quickly I came to my senses and I did what he demanded from me. I looked directly at him, fighting my fears and my shame.. I had to do it.. I didn't want to get into more trouble with him.

 _"My dreams.."_ I lied _"They.. came back."_ I lied to Roose Bolton while looking at his pale eyes. I lied and I got away with it.

Father raised his eyebrows as if he was surprised and than he took my hand in his.. His cold fingers were placed on the blue veins of my wrist. For some reason he was checking my pulse.

 _"You said you have a cure for my daughter, maester Tybald."_

 _"She refused the therapy, my lord."_

What _.._

The therapy.. More like bloodsucking ritual..

 _"Why did you refuse it, Diana?"_ father asked me _"You obviously need to purge yourself.."_ he said.

Purge myself? Oh you're all insane, I thought.

I couldn't help but to glare again at Ramsay.. He was smiling like a demon, his eyes were so shiny, pale, almost without colour.. for many it was terrifying, but not for me.. not anymore.

Purge myself..

Purge...

 _"Your betrothed will be here soon, and his father, Lord Rickard, as well as Lady Alys and Lord Rickard's younger son Harald. Almost the entire Karstark family will be here and if they_ _sense that something.. is wrong with you... well-_ " for some reason he didn't want to finish his sentence. He didn't even have to.

 _"Sister, you should accept Maester Tybald's help. He's a wise man."_

No one asked you for your opinion, bastard, I thought. And he knew what I was thinking, he saw it in my eyes and he smiled. Ramsay LOVED when I was like that. It was a challenge to him. _"Only if you're afraid.."_ he added. The challenge is accepted.

 _"I.. want to.. purge my blood, father."_ I said _"But I hold little hope.. I don't think anyone can help me."_

It can't be that bad, right?

Now we were alone.. Maester Tybald and I.. and those bloodsuckers.

I opened my dress on my back and I lay down on the stomac _"This won't hurt, my lady."_ he said _"Well, maybe only a little bit at first. but after that the feeling is comfortable.. almost good."_

Almost like the first wedding night, I thought.

I smiled, because I remembered my aunt and the way she was trying to prepare me for my future life as someone's woman.. She was saying the same things as this stupid maester now. She'll laugh when I tell her about this, I thought.

Finally he placed the first leech on my skin..

I shivered..

This is ridiculous, I thought. This is way too ridiculous.

But the maester was saying the truth. This was.. not so bad.. I felt the bite, but it didn't hurt. Than the little pain I felt went away and slowly I was adjusting to this new situation that I tried to avoid.. so much. It felt fine with them on my skin and soon my body relaxed. They made me want to sleep. I wanted to sleep, to sleep and forget about everything and everyone.  
 _"How does it feel, my lady? Is it alright?"_ Maester Tybald asked me, and I just nodded.. I felt so relaxed and so calm, that I was unable to even speak.

 _"Oh well, I told you so."_

Oh yes you did..

Before I actually fell a sleep, I couldn't help, but wonder.. Am I going to be the same person after this? Will I turn into my father?

* * *

 **I think this was a controversial chapter. Diana's first kill (well Luke killed them, but she ordered, so..) and the leech therapy.. Even I don't know what to think about it, but I kind of felt like this was suitable for the story..**

 **So, yeah.. feel free to review :)**


	35. Chapter 35

Everything is fine.. Yes, it's fine, I kept telling myself. Another day passed, and it was easier now, truly.

My first kill..

Fine, I thought. Better them than me.

And about leeches.. I could say that that also was fine. Better than I thought it would be. I was stupid to be afraid so much. It wasn't disgusting, it wasn't painful, I felt nice actually. And I'm still Diana Bolton, I think. I'm still myself, I didn't turn into a leech lord. Well if ordering my man to kill another man didn't change me, nothing will, I thought.

Oh Diana, you know nothing, the future me could say. Killing **will** change you, but not immediately. The Stranger, that infamous God of the Southerners, will take his time with you.. Your Northern Gods can't help you.. They're dead.

At least my lord father was pleased.. and Ramsay.. Ramsay Snow. He also.

 _"How do you feel?"_ he asked me quietly. I looked at him, sad pale eyes, and a small, soft smile. A, mummer's face, I thought. He's acting. We were in the Dreadfort's courtyard. The raven came, my betrothed Harrion was close.

 _"Good."_ I answered.

I lied. I wasn't good, still I was not good with everything that was happening to me. I was confused, lonely, I missed my aunt and I didn't understand what was going on with her. Why isn't she writing to me? Why? She raised me.. Did she forget?

 _"I'm happy to hear that."_ Ramsay said _"I worry about you, little sister. You seem.. absent... afraid of something-"_

 _"I'm not afraid!"_ I almost yelled at him. Ramsay laughed and father gave us one of those glares. The bastard noticed him too, so he tried to restrain himself. I was funny to him..

Stupid bastard, I thought. He'll see.. Soon, he'll see.

 _"OPEN THE GATES!"_ A Bolton man shouted and I shivered. _He_ was here.. My future husband is here... GODS!

I never cared much about my looks, but now I was scared, **really** scared.. What if he thinks I'm not pretty? Oh Diana, he saw you already at Winterfell, and he seemed to... like you..

CALM DOWN.

But.. Maybe he said that.. because it's his duty, because our fathers were watching.

I remembered Theon Greyjoy's words.. He said that I'm not really pretty. What if Harrion thinks the same? What if he thinks, I'm just.. fine.

Diana, you're an idiot. Like if the looks are the most important. Fine, you look fine.. but you're a smart too, and that counts too! And if that isn't enough, well than I don't know, maybe I'm going to be good in the bed? I could do that, my aunt told me something about it.

Panic..

Panic..

Now I'm acting like Anna, I thought.

When she came that morning to my chambers panically shouting something about some dress, looking like.. a mad maid, it took me and also Willa some time to calm her. When she came back to her " normal " self she said: _"M'lady, your dress.. the one with both House Bolton and Karstark symbols.. it's.. it's not ready, I'm so sorry, I tried to finish it, I worked the entire night.. I.. I.."_

 _"Anna."_

 _"I..."_

 _"Anna stop!"_ I yelled at her, pulling her by her shoulders a little bit _"Calm yourself, you're acting like a fool. I don't care about the stupid dress.."_

 _"But.. But.."_

 _"WHAT?"_

 _"The Karstark Lords.. They'll arrive today.."_

The Karstark Lords...

 _"W-What? Harrion?"_ For some reason panic filled me at the thought of him coming to Dreadfort.. Him meeting Ramsay.. Him talking to me again.. Him and his family watching my every action...

Him and his family taking me from my home.. Forever.

No. Not forever.

I'll come back one day.. With my son I will rule this place, I thought. If there isn't another way, if my father doesn't want it another way..

Oh if only I told him about this wish of mine, a wish to rule this place, to continue his name myself.. maybe.. maybe father would've allowed me to marry some nobleman from a smaller house. He would've taken my name and I would've still be a Bolton, and a Lady of Dreadfort. Instead, I'll have to try the harder way..

 _"Well.."_ I started _"I'll have to wear something that **is** ready."_ I said. I was somewhat disappointed actually. Yes, I wasn't so happy about the whole wedding thing, but still I remembered my aunt's words very well: _"Make him love you."_

Love me? Who could ever love **me**? A, killer, a sinner... Who could love me? Only someone like me..

Ramsay.. NO...WHAT? RAMSAY? What for the seven hells, girl? He can't love, that's the problem with him! He's not like you, you can love. You love your aunt, you loved your brother.. you loved... Ramsay..

Harrion Karstark **will** love me, I though as I picked the dress for me.. Willa and Anna brought every dress they could find in Dreadfort. Hundreds of them were lying on my bed, and on the floor also. Hundreds of them, and I picked the black one.

 _"Oh, no, not the black one!"_ Anna cried out. _"M'lady.. again?"_ she somewhat protested.

I rolled my eyes _"And you again? Haven't you learned girl? I do what I like."_ That silenced her, finally. _"This is Karstark's color after all."_ I said _"I only need now some white Karstark suns.. on shoulders maybe, and a Bolton necklase of course. I will always be a Bolton by blood."_

And here I am now, I thought, trembling with many different emotions, trembling in my perfect black dress. Karstark suns than Anna made me looked very good, I had to admit. She did her best and she had so little time. Also my golden necklase with my house's symbols that father gave me, fitted perfectly. Willa helped me with my hair. One simple braid. I wanted to look pretty, but not too pretty, I didn't want Harrion to think that I was trying too hard.

It was cold.. It was colder than usual and so I had this big wolf's fur around me. Ramsay killed the grey she-wolf the morning before and gave Anna her fur for me. Poor girl had to deal with all that blood. _"It was terrible."_ she said _"For hours I wasn't able to move and.. t-think. I hate blood."_ she confessed. If only she knew what **I** was doing that day.

Poor Anna.. He did it in purpose, I thought. He's so evil...

I took a deep breath..

The air, northern air.. It's so fresh, cold, beautiful. They say that there's no air like the Norhern air. I couldn't possibly know at the moment. Before the war of the five kings, I never went south of the Vale.. Once I do that too, I will miss this air, this wind and snow, so badly. Once I come back I will be the Northerner more than I ever was before. My Gods are not dead, they are part of me, part of every Northern man, woman and child. They are the North, I will realize.

So, I was there that day, waiting for the gates to open, proudly standing next to my lord father. The moment they opened the gates, I felt Ramsay's breath on my neck _"Breathe Dia.. It's not like he's going to take your maidenhead here and now in front of everyone."_ I couldn't see him, he was behind me, but I knew that he was smiling at me like he never had before.

Harrion entered the courtyard first. He was riding a strong, big, black stallion, who acted a little bit wild. With his beard and grey eyes Harrion looked wild too, angry almost. He was wearing the usual Northern - style clothing, brown and black, and the black fur around his wide shoulders and the coat in the same color, that for some reason looked so warm, and familiar and close.. I wanted to take it off him, off Harrion and wrap around me. I shook my head. What am I thinking?

I decided that I was still too weak and tired from everything stupid that happened in passed few days.. Maybe it's the best for me to don't speak much, to speak only when asked, only when I have to. I could ruin everything, father is watching, I thought. I didn't want to say or do something stupid. In certain moments I felt like I couldn't control myself, like if my body wasn't my body, or my mind wasn't my mind.. Maybe it's the leeches? They're taking over my body!

Shit.. Shit... Shit.. That's what happened to my father!

Harrion climbed off his horse and started to move towards us. I didn't look at him anymore, I couldn't.. I felt.. embarrassed?

I felt that Ramsay, moved closer behind me and lowered his head close to my ear _"Here he comes.."_ he whispered to me again. Like if I needed him to inform me or something. I maybe didn't look at his face, but I did see his boots aproaching us fast.. Too fast, I thought.

 _"Lord Bolton."_

 _"Lord Karstark.."_

Finally I raised my head.. It was stupid, really. **I** acting like **this**. Diana Bolton, daughter of Roose Bolton, niece of Barbrey Dustin acting like some shy, small, weak and blushing maiden. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.. You know this man, Diana. He's nothing special and no one better than you! You are a Bolton, now start behaving like one!

Finally he moved to me, his gray eyes now looked more gentle and less harsh than at first.

The night when I first met this stranger, who was soon going to be my husband, I thought of him as a typical Northerner. Bearded, muscular warrior, who will with years become more fat than muscular and more lord than warrior. He will swallow my soul and turn me into a mother of his many children, I thought. How cruel the life is.. I didn't even have the choice..

 _"My Lady.."_ his voice woke me from the sudden deep and depressing thoughts _"it's a great pleasure to see you again."_ he said taking my hand in his. His hands were big, warm and gentle _"I.. was concerned for you, for your health._ " he confessed.

I said nothing, I was just looking at him with my eyes wide. I felt that I wanted to tell him everything and nothing.

 _"Are you well my lady?"_ he asked me and I just nodded my head, unable to say anything, to lie anything. I didn't really feel comfortable with this man so close to me, my future husband.. I didn't feel good in my skin with him holding my hand and after that taking it to his lips, and all of that in front of my father and with Ramsay being just behind my back. I could feel Ramsay's sharp eyes staring at me and Harrion, watching his every move, listening his every word.. waiting for my reactions.

I was angry and embarrassed.. Every man and woman in this castle was there and they all knew.. Harrion Karstark is going to FUCK Diana Bolton.

Well.. FUCK THIS STUPID LIFE.

Than I heard Lord Rickards voice: _"Come on Alys, you'll like it here."_

I didn't even notice their carriage, but I was now watching them climbing off it. First I saw Lord Rickard's gray hair and than a deep frown on his face. He always looked like that.

And, Alys.. Pretty dark-haired Alys Karstark who Robb Stark was flirting with at Winterfell's feast. Are they already promised to each other? I was asking myself.

Again I heard "Lord Bolton", "Lord Karstark" shit and I almost rolled my eyes, but than I noticed that Harrion was looking at me and I stopped myself on time, thankfully.

Lord Karstark greeted me with a proud smile or smirk, and one simple _"Lady Diana"_ and I bowed to him as gallantly as I knew. Lady Alys didn't seem so happy to see me, she looked rather bored, but still she was polite enough to bow. Soon we'll both discover that we're not so different, as it first appeared.

The younger man who followed them introduced himself as Harald Karstark. That must be Lord Rickard's another son, Harrion's little brother, I thought. And he did look a lot like him. Same hair color, same nose and ears and those thin lips. Same height too, but this Harald was younger and he had no beard. He kissed my hand as gently and quietly as Harrion did before him. A, strange spark appeared in his brown/gray eyes when I smiled at him, trying to be polite (but maybe looking flirty?) Whatever it was, I decided at that moment that I didn't like this Harald at all. Something about him was odd..

It's a good thing I managed to speak with my loyalists before they came, I thought. It would have been too hard with all those Karstarks, and with my father and Ramsay of course.

 _"My lady."_ Harrion again.. _"Is everything alright? You seemed to worry about something."_

OH REALLY HARRION? .

 _"Everything is.. fine, my lord. I appreciate your concern. You are very kind."_ The moment I said that I couldn't help myself but to look at Ramsay. Everyone was talking to someone, father and Lord Rickard the most, they really seemed like good old friends, but Ramsay was quiet. He just stood there with the servants and our men, looking somewhat lost in all of this. For some reason that hypnotized me and I couldn't take my eyes from him. The moment he caught my glare, I flinched and his eyes turned from lost to.. sad? No, it can't be.

Quickly I came to my senses and turned my full attention towards Harrion _"Are you tired, my lord?"_ I asked him, forcing my face into a smile.

 _"No, I'm not really, my lady. Well maybe a little bit.."_ he smiled _"Is there any special reason you ask, or?"_

 _"I wanted to show you the castle, if you're not too tired."_

I didn't look at his direction, but I could feel Roose Bolton watching me. After my first purging from the "bad blood", my father aproached me saying: _"Life is not easy, child. You are born as a noble girl, daughter of the Lord and a Lady, but that's not enough. There are Starks, Lannisters, Baratheons, Tyrells.. They are bigger than us, richer than us, more powerful and more important. You think that Ramsay is your biggest problem, but trust me, he's not. Winter is coming and all those Southern lords including the king, will soon forget us, Northerners. Anything can happen in the North when Winter comes. Remember that you have to be strong, and if you want to be strong, you have to at least act strong. Don't let your enemies to see your weakness."_ he said _"Ramsay is nothing. But Ramsay as insane as he is STILL has the potential. He could be useful, very useful, for me an for this house, even for you."_ That's when he looked at me and so strangely, it was like if the coldness from his eyes was stabbing my heart. For a moment I thought he knew about Ramsay and me.. Everything about us. Than he grabbed my shoulders and I was already saying goodbye to the little of honor I had _"You want Dreadfort? Prove to me that you are more useful than him."_ A strange relief rushed through me quick and vicious. It was nothing, he doesn't know..

 _"I'll prove you, father. I'll prove to you that I'm better."_

Few hours later I was in that secret room talking to Ser Luke and his most trusted men. And, boy, when I told them my plan they all looked at me like if I was crazy. _"You'll have to kidnap me."_ I told them and they watched me and listened to me with their mouth opened.

 _"Lady Bolton.. That's maybe too much.."_ Ser Luke tried to convince me to give up from my insane idea and I smirked at that. He said he knows Ramsay, but in reality that was far from the truth. I knew Ramsay, better than anyone. I knew him from the beginning and he didn't change much from then. We had to work fast. _"We have no time."_ was all I could say.

And now I was looking at Harrion Karstark. I really had no time. I had to make him mine. I had to provoke the interest in him. He has to think about me.. He has to be my hero in this mummers' play, I thought. _"So are you interested?"_ I asked him, my eyes narrowed and my lips formed into a soft smile.


	36. Chapter 36

Big, gentle smile, a nod of approval, his strong, offered arm, and we started walking towards my first destination - Dreadfort's garden. When I head that my betrothed decided to come to me, I ordered Willa to arrange our garden, that now, when my mother wasn't alive, looked more depressed than ever. In a short time, the garden got a new, fresh look. Winter was close, weather started cooling down and it was hard to manage such a thing, but Willa did it. With a help of few servants, she planted some trees, and to my great pleasure there were also some beautiful winter roses, blue as sea..

Dreadfort wasn't.. beautiful. It's a strong castle, with long history, and it is everything, but beautiful. This garden was its biggest potential.. Not that I cared much. I only needed some place where I could talk to Harrion without thinking about flayed men, torture chambers, or leeches. Sometimes, it was too much..

 _"Do you like our garden, my lord?"_ I asked Harrion, soft smile on my pale Northern face. Of course, gardens didn't interest him much. A warrior like him couldn't care less.. But it was something what _a lady_ would ask.

 _"Yes.. it's... lovely."_ he said _"This must be your place?"_ he asked me somehow softly, and I nodded, smiling _"I like to be here.. This place calms me. It's quiet here, and the nature.. I love nature."_ I said.

Harrion smiled, and it was a strange smile, more like a smirk, but it didn't mock me. Than he stopped walking for a moment, saying: _"I heard you're a hunter."_

Hunter?

Ohhhh **shit**.

Where did he hear that? From who? Immediatly I remembered my mother's words " _Hunting is not for ladies, Diana. How many times do I have to tell you that? Husbands don't approve such things. Women with bows and arrows, covered with blood and dirt.. It is highly unattractive! You will stop this now, and you will tell that to your father's bastard."_

 _"Tell him yourself."_ I answered her then. I hissed at her then, looking deeply at her sad, blue eyes, knowing that she will not do such a thing. She was afraid of him..

Hunter.. I was hunter once, and thanks to Ramsay..

 _"I.. I used hunting.. a little bit."_ I started, feeling uncertain about what to say next _"When I was a child.. I was.. very.. curious. I didn't quite understand why are some things forbidden for ladies.. women in general."_ I said and I earned a laugh from my future husband _"It is not that they are forbidden, my lady."_ Harion said and started walking again _"It's just.. not so many ladies are interested in those things. I personally never met a woman interested in... Well, in killing."_ he said, big smile on his bearded face.

Oh Harrion..

 _"I'm sorry, my lord.. You must be confused about me now.. Do I disappoint you?"_

Once again I started to play my father's game. Acting, playing.. Ramsay and I got that from him. There are things in life, things you cannot change, or stop. Without thinking, I started our little games. This time it was Harrion.. The new Bolton's plaything..

There is a higher purpose behind this, a noble purpose, I was convincing myself. I am not a mindless savage. I know what I want and why I want that.

 _"No."_ he answered after a while _"You're everything, but disappointing, Lady Bolton. I just find you to be more interesting than I thought at first. I won't_ _deny.. I did my research. When we went to that feast, I didn't know the real reason behind it. When we arrived, father finally told me, and I didn't know much about you. Of course I knew your house._ _"_ he said, smiling. And I knew what crossed his mind.. A flayed men. Harrion than stopped walking again, and I stopped too, because he held my arm tightly, and this time he faced me, taking my both hands to his lips. After a soft and gentle kiss on my hands, he said _"I am very intrigued by you, Diana. Can I call you by your name?"_ he asked me and I nodded in response, feeling a little bit disturbed, by suddenly being so close to him _"Good."_ he said " _You know you can call me Harrion, or Harry.. Whatever you prefer."_

 _"Y-Yes.. Harry."_ I said forcing a smile, and he smiled back.

I showed him the great hall than. The other members of Harrion's.. of **my** family were in the guest chambers, resting. Father was with maester Tybald... purging himself, (I saw Harrion rasing his eyebrow in a great confusion when he heard Willa saying that.) and Ramsay was Gods know where.

So, I took the opportunity..

 _"You said, you never met a woman who is interested in killing?"_ I asked Harrion and a frown crossed his face _"I did.."_ he said, staring at me, looking quite interested in my question.

 _"Well-"_ I started, slowly advancing towards him with small but determined steps _"What kind of women you met before me?"_ I asked.

Amusement, maybe even lust, that's what I saw in his grey eyes. And I was scared, for a moment. What am I doing? I asked myself. I'm not ready for this!

 _"Boring.."_ he answered, but I didn't really understand him at first. He interrupted my thoughts.. " _What?"_ I asked him, confused by his voice, deeper than ever.

 _"I met boring women."_ he said and without a warning he grabbed my arms and pulled me closer to him, still being gentle.. Much gentler than Ramsay.

His eyes roamed over my face and his hands found their way to my hips. I flinched at the sudden touch, and he quickly pulled away _"Did I scare you?"_ he asked me, his lustful eyes, now filled with concer.

Scare me..

Scare me? Who do you think you are, Karstark?

 _"No."_ I answered shortly _"Come on, I want to show you more of the castle.."_ I said, grabbing his big hand. Scare me.. Hah whatever you say...

We went upstairs than, roaming through the long, dark hallways of Dreadfort's fortress, while I was telling Harrion the history of the mentioned place. He seemed interested enough, although more interested in my appearance _"I like your dress."_ he suddenly said.

When we were in the hall, I took off the furs that Ramsay gave me and that revealed the white Karstark suns on my shoulders. We were alone in the quiet hallway and now I felt like I was ready. _"Well, I said at Winterfell that I'll maybe join the Karstarks."_ I said smiling.

 _"You did."_ he remembered. Harrion than took a few steps towards me, and without thinking I took some steps from him, hitting the wall behind me _"Do I scare you?"_ he asked me and I almost rolled my eyes at that. Instead of being disrespectful and childish I decided to show him how much I was scared of him.

I placed my hands on his chest and I pulled him by his clothes, and I lifted my head, watching his lips move closer to mine _"You don't scare me."_ I finally said, quietly, almost in a whisper _"You honor me, flatter me.. I was told by many men, and women, that I'm.. pretty. But only you can say that with only looking at me. I never knew such a feeling before. It's strange, but exciting."_ I said _"Could you.. Could you explain it to me?"_ I played naive.

Something was burning inside Harrion Karstark's eyes, when he lowered his head closer to mine and so our eyes were on the same level now _"I can show you."_ he whispered, and just when I thought that his lips will crash into mine, a familiar voice interrupted.

 _"Lady Bolton. Your father sent me for you."_

Ramsay..

He stood at the end of the hallway, light from the window falling on his face, making it impossible to read. His voice was masked as always, well almost always. Even Ramsay can't hide his emotions sometimes. Emotions? Ohhh

Whatever he had to hide, this time he hid it. He sounded.. polite and sweet, and it was so typically him. _"Yes.."_ I said shortly, making my way from Harrion's arms and towards Ramsay's.

 _"I'll escort you, Diana."_ suddenly I heard my betrothed, who sounded bored and annoyed at the same time. Stupid Ramsay, I thought. He has to ruin everything.

We walked past him, past Ramsay, arm in arm, and I didn't even bother to steal a glance at him, even though I felt a strange wish to do so. I wanted to see him looking at me, at us. Terrifying, disgusting, and so unladylike picture crossed my mind. Ramsay watching Harrion and me, watching us kiss and.. and touch..

Girl, you're hopeless.. Just hopeless..

 _"Are you alright?"_ Harrion asked me and I answered nothing, which only made him more curious _"Who was that?"_ Harrion asked and I shut my eyes at the question.


	37. Chapter 37

_"What was that?"_

 _"What was.. what?"_

 _"In the courtyard, Diana.. You acted too freely."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"You acted.. like some little southern whore."_

Lord Bolton's words cut deeper than his blades...

Southern whore?

What?

How?

I don't...

 _"You barely know him, yet you wanted so badly to be.. alone with him."_ he continued _"That is not a proper behaviour for a lady of your age and position. You are a maiden. Right?"_

Maiden..

I said nothing. My own voice left me and I couldn't find any words for what he said. He never talked to me like that before, I disappointed him. Now I know what Ramsay feels every day, I thought. Being a bastard is bad enough..

 _"You.. can.. act like you did down there."_ he suddenly stood up, and looked at something through the window. After a while, pointing his hand towards the yard and than me, he said: _"But only when alone.."_ he gazed at me, his eyes so sharp and pale _"Alone with Harrion, of course._ _Do you understand that?"_ he asked me.

 _"I.. I do."_ I could only answer. I didn't dare to look him in the eye again, I knew what I'll see there.. Snow and rocks, blood and knifes, sea and winds, mountains.. When he looks at you like that, you can only feel emptiness, emptiness and pain. And I was done with pain. For once, it was **my** decision!

 _"Good."_ he said _"Lord Rickard is a traditional man, very stubborn and proud. If you think that Harrion decides about you and your marriage, than you are very wrong, Diana. You're fooling yourself, Harrion decides nothing."_

Nothing..

 _"You do have to charm your future husband, but never forget that he has a family. They have to like you. This is very important for me, for us. Do you know that?"._

Important..

 _"Yes, father."_

After some time of just sitting and watching my own pale and cold, shaking hands, while listening to his voice, analyzing and accepting his every word, I pulled myself together and with my lord father's permission I left the working chambers.. I left, with my eyes full of tears.

This is embarrassing, stupid, wrong! How dare he? How dare he to call me like that, to lecture me? He was never here, by my side, never! I never had a father, a real father.. He told me himself that I have to make Harrion love me.. I don't understand.. I never wanted to marry him, I didn't ask for this. Oh, how I need my aunt...

No Diana, calm down. . This is just another lesson, another lesson, I had to learn.

No..

Calm down.. It's just few more steps..

Gods! What is wrong with me?!

 _"You seem upset, little sister."_

And than I hugged him. I ran to him, I ran to my enemy, I ran to my demon and he took me in his arms..

 _"Diana?"_

 _"Shut up!"_

 _"Dia.."_

 _"Just take me.. Take me somewhere away, somewhere away from here. Please!"_

And he did.. He always does.

 _"You're sensitive."_ my mother used to say, and I guess she was right. For years I was trying to hide my feelings, to push them deep inside me. I refused to show them and especially to my father. Now I was showing everything.. to everyone. But my mother was the same. How many times did I see her crying like this? Many, many times.. countless times. She was pathetic, always crying when my father did or said something she didn't like. And now I'm acting just like her.

 _"What happened?"_

We were in her garden now. I was sitting, again staring at my hands and my knees, trying to calm myself, to calm my body, but every inch of it betrayed me and in front of Ramsay.. Ramsay, who stood by my side..

 _"He made you cry.."_

His voice is just hypnotizing, so nice and gentle, yet playful and exiting.. I hate him.

 _"What did he say to make you cry?"_

What did he say? He called me a whore!

 _"He just.. told me that.. I'm.. leaving Dreadfort soon.. and that he.. will.. miss me."_

Gods! When did I become such a liar? I always hated people who are able to lie so easly.. and in your face! Now I'm doing the same damn thing...

I hate myself!

Ramsay than sat down beside me saying: _"I will miss you too, little sister."_ Than he pulled me closer to him, cupped my face in his hands, and started dropping kisses on my forehead, while pulling his hands through my hair _"I know you love me."_ he said between kisses _"I know you do.."_

His kisses.. His hands.. I felt like I was going to faint..

 _"Enough."_ I said coldly _"I have to go."_

He watched me leave.. I know he did.

I spent the rest of the day alone, in my chambers. Anna and Willa insisted to stay with me and help me with my dress and my hair, but I didn't want their company. I just wanted to be alone, and to sleep.. When I couldn't sleep, I decided to call our maester.. I hate to say this, but I needed purging.

He placed them on my skin, and they felt cold, cold and relaxing. _"Soon you will feel much better."_ I heard maester's gentle voice. And when I woke up, everything seemed much better. I accepted what happened earlier that day with my father, and I knew what I was going to do and how to act at the welcoming feast. He was right, my father.. I should think better, Harry has a large family. Their opinion **is** important. I should act with more discretion.. _"I can't ruin this."_ I whispered to myself.

 _"M'lady, you called?"_

I looked towards the door, Willa stood there and Anna was behind her, looking shy as always.

 _"Yes."_ I said _"Get my bath ready."_

 _"Yes, m'lady."_ they spoke like one.

Soon the bath was ready and the feeling of hot water on my skin felt perfect _"Oh this is good."_ I murmured and I noticed girls' small laugh _"What are you smiling at?"_ I asked them, but they laughed anyway. Stupid maids.. Why can't I have normal maids? I was asking myself. _"Did my dog eat?"_ I asked smiling Willa and she nodded, saying: _"He did m'lady.. Master Ramsay fed him."_

Master.. Ramsay..

 _"Master Ramsay?"_ I asked, shocked.

 _"Yes m'lady."_ the stupid girl responded.

 _"MASTER?"_ I was done.

 _"Y-Yes M'lady."_ Willa said again.

I rolled my eyes, and took a deep breath _"Willa.."_ I started _"Why do you call my father's bastard "master"?"_ I asked her and the girls looked at each other in great confusion. _"He.. He told us to call him like that."_ the red-haired one answered.

 _"Do not call him "master"."_ I simply said, and to both of them, not eager to ruin my night with more of Ramsay's bullshit. This was MY night, a time to shine for my father, my followers, my betrothed and my new family. Nothing and no one will ruin this for me!

..

Singers, dancers, food, lights, people.. Everything looked perfect, and everyone thought it was my fault.

 _"Diana, come."_ Lord Bolton offered me his hand. He stood with Lord Karstark, the older one, Harrion's father, who always looked.. grumpy.

 _"How old are you again."_ Lord Karstark asked me, and I smiled.. a perfect lady's smile.. _"Sixteen my lord."_

 _"Ahhh i_ _f only I could turn back time."_ he said _"back then when I was sixteen.. I would do it all different."_

 _"We all would."_ my father said.

Old people are boring when talking like this..

 _"Ahh Harrion.."_ Lord Rickard saw his son approaching us. His firstborn, his pride.. They're boring when praising their sons, too.

And there he was.. Tall, dark, bearded. I had to admit that Harrion was handsome. He maybe even looked better than me. _"My lords, my lady."_ he bowed his head, and I watched him, attracted to his look, almost forgetting to bow, myself.

Harrion.. Harrion.. Harry. _"You look beautiful."_ he said.

Beautiful..

I noticed his gaze moving up and down my body.. To be honest.. I was doing the same to him.

 _"Let's take our seats."_ father said, when the rest of the Karstark family arrived.

* * *

 **hey people, i'm back! the next chapter is coming soon.. i promise it will be much longer than this one, lots of stuff need to happen :)**


	38. Chapter 38

My dear father had to punish me somehow for my "shameful" behaviour, so he placed me between Harrion and Alys... And "Rains of Castamere" was the song that was most often played that night. He knew perfectly well how much I disliked that song that admired Lord Tywin's killing talents. And maybe.. maybe he also knew how much I disliked Harrion's little sister too. I don't know..

Oh.. and Ramsay was there, sitting with our men, but somehow right there where I can see him, and where he can see me. Anyway, I really started to hate the atmosphere of the feast, so I decided to somehow change it.

 _"You look very handsome, my lord."_ I told Harrion, who smiled his warmest smile. _"Thank you my lady."_ he said _"But no one can match your beauty.. Diana."_ he added smiling.

 _"Thank you Harrion."_ I giggled _"You're very sweet."_

Unlike Harrion, Alys didn't look like a person that **I** could make smile.. She hates me, ever since Winterfell, I thought.

Ohhh and that song again.

 _"Harrion, could you do me a little favor?"_

 _"Yes, anything."_ he offered.

 _"Could you.. please tell singers to.. to sing something else?"_

Harrion looked at me a little bit confused _"Of course."_ he said, after a while _"But can I ask you why?"_

I sighed _"Well.."_ I started _"This song tells us a story of.. how cruel our world is."_ I said, but Harrion still looked confused, so I tried harder _"Lannisters killed the Reynes, the entire family. Lannister rule our kingdoms, even though our king isn't.. Lannister. They have their gold, and they rule us with their gold. If I remember right, they were on Targaryens' side when the war started.. and we, Northerners, our fathers.. they were on.. the other side. Lannisters are our enemies, we should not worship them like this."_

 _"Lannisters are enemies?"_ Harrion laughed _"If they hear you-"_

 _"You will protect me."_ I looked him right in his grey eyes _"You will be my husband soon, protecting me is your duty, isn't it?"_ I asked him, placing my hand on his. Young Lord Karstark slowly nodded his head, still staring at me strangely _"You surprise me, Diana."_ he said _"I didn't expect those.. words, not from you."_ he seemed somewhat amused, but also worried.

I smiled, amused by his reactions, and I raised my cup saying: _"Prepare yourself Karstark.. You are going to marry a Bolton."_ Soon after my words, Harrion also raised his cup, but before drinking wine, a loud laugh escaped his lips and filled the room. The singers changed the song.

And the food finally arrived.. It was a right time for Lord Bolton's toast.

 _"Dear guests, my lovely daughter..."_

blah blah blah

 _"...Like I said, it is a big honor..."_

Yeah right...

 _"...My daughter, Diana, arranged all of this. She is very happy for having you here...and..."_

Seven hells...

 _"For House Karstark!"_

Gods, look at Ramsay, he's laughing like and idiot!

 _"FOR HOUSE KARSTARK!"_

Ramsay stop smiling like that! Don't look at me!

 _"For House Bolton!"_

 _"FOR HOUSE BOLTON!"_

GOOD. It is over..

 _"Can I have one dance, my lady?"_ Harrion suddenly asked me, after men's cheering was over. _"Yes.. Why not..."_ I answered, and we both stood up, making our way to the centre of the Dreadfort's hall.

 _"Diana, tell me more about yourself."_ He was watching me strangely. His hands were on my lower back, and mine were on his shoulders.. we were very close, but that was soon going to change, because of the type of this noble dance that we danced that night. Soon we will change our partners, and I wasn't sure how we were going to both dance and talk about my life, when I had to be careful to don't stand on someone's foot.

One thing was sure - I had so little time.. So little time to make him care.

 _"What do you want to know?"_ I asked him.

 _"Your childhood.. Tell me about it."_ and right at that moment, we had to change our partners. Harrion smiled and I couldn't help but giggle at the sight, he was now dancing with some very old lady.

My childhood..

What should I say? I can't tell him the truth.. But I can't lie neither..

Again.. Harrion..

 _"So?"_ he narrowed his eyes, expecting an answer.

 _"I was born here, at Dreadfort."_ I started _"But my aunt raised me at Barrowton."_

 _"Your aunt? Lady... Dustin?"_

 _"Yes."_ I smiled at the mentioning of her name. _"But than I came back. I missed.. home."_ I said, and Harrion than pulled me closer to him, and he whispered in my ear: _"You will like Karhold."_

I hope so..

Again we changed our partners, and while Harry danced with his "lovely" sister, I danced with my "lovely" father.

 _"You two seem like a really lovely couple."_ father said, and for some reason I shivered at the word "couple". He also held me close, so that I can hear him better _"Forgive me if I was.. a little harsh today."_ he said as quietly as possible. Of course he didn't want anyone to hear Lord Bolton apologizing to his daughter, apologizing to anyone.

"There's nothing to forgive." I wanted to say.. I wanted to be smart, but instead.. _"You called me a whore."_ I said to him, and he raised his eyebrows, probably surprised by my language.

 _"You swear-"_

 _"I didn't swear. I just repeated what you said to me.. dear father."_ I told him, and I twirled under his arm. Looking angrily at him, I went to my next dancing partner - Harrion's brother.

 _"You look lovely my lady."_ Oh how many times I have to hear this tonight? _"Thank you.. my lord."_

 _"My brother is surely a lucky man."_

 _"You're kind."_

 _"Oh no, not at all.. I'm just.. honest."_

There was something about this young Karstark.. Something I didn't.. like.

 _"Entire Karhold will be jealous on my brother.."_

 _"Even you?"_ I surprised myself. I shocked myself! Sometimes I really just have to SHUT UP. What will he think about me now?

Southern whore..

Southern whore..

I am not!

Luckily the dance was over, and I ended up in Harrion's arms again.

When we took our seats, Harrion filled our cups with more wine _"Drink."_ he said, and so I did.

 _"M'lady."_ Willa called me, she was behind me, and apparently she wanted to whisper something in my ear _"You said that I should tell you. There is someone waiting for you, in front of your chambers.. He said he's here because of the silk you wanted to buy."_ she said. Of course, that man had nothing to do with the silk, it was Ser Luke's man. I still couldn't trust my handmaidens. I couldn't risk that much.

 _"Good, I am.. going to talk with him now. You stay here, make sure that my betrothed has everything he needs."_ I said to her, and than I placed my hand on Harrion's shoulder, trying to get his attention _"Harry.."_ I called him and he looked at me _"I have to go to my chambers.. I left my present for you there.. I made you a present couple of days ago, and I completely forgot about it.."_ I smiled.

 _"Do you want me to escort you?"_ he offered immediately.

 _"No, no.. You see, my father doesn't really like the idea of.. of us being alone.. And I'll be back soon.. It's embarrassing, I know-"_

Harrion smiled _"Oh.. Well, than.. Did you have.. problems with him today?"_

 _"No, no.."_ I said _"It's just.. I really.. somehow missed you.. and I really wanted to show you our garden. I know that people think that Dreadfort is not so.. pretty. I wanted to show you what a woman's hand can do."_ I talked seductively, and I smiled seductively, like my aunt taught me, or so I tried. Whatever was the case, when I stood up, Harrion also stood and he kissed my both hands, saying: _"I can't wait for that present."_ Somehow, I was convinced that he did it better.. seduction, I mean.

They all watched me when I left our table, but I did hear Harrion explaining where I was going, and why. I smiled at that, he was really sweet.

He was so sweet that I completely forgot about one person.. Ramsay. He walked just behind me, but I didn't hear his steps


End file.
